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This student’s essay is a third draft, so it still has some minor mistakes; nevertheless, this argumentative essay has on-topic, well-developed examples and is well organized. Plus, MLA in-text citations are properly formatted.


Jane Doe

Professor Smith

English Composition 1101

17 March 2014

Television is considered one of the most important inventions of the Modern world. Many people feel that television has helped improve their lives by entertaining them through reality based shows and educating them through learning channels. To many people, television’s entertainment value is, quite frankly, limitless. However, few people have stopped to analyze the harms of watching television. Salmon Rushdie, the author of “Reality TV: A Dearth of Talent and the Death of Morality” and Marie Winn, the author of “TV: The Plug in Drug,” both have mainly negative views about television. Television has proven to be harmful to society because of the dramatic increase in child obesity, unrealistic body images for girls, and increased depictions of violence. Comment by tparks: Opposition’s point-of-view Comment by tparks: Title of sources and authors Comment by tparks: Three –point thesis statement

First, television is harmful to society because of childhood obesity. For example, children who watch television in excess of three plus hours usually have very lethargic lifestyles. Plus, these children are often gorging on Twinkies and sugary filled donuts while watching their favorite shows. Winn states the television is a device that “allows for no communication or [physical] interaction” (235). Furthermore, television commercials often broadcast junk-food commercials like McDonalds and Burger King. These commercials are clever at appealing to lethargic children by enticing them with golden French fries and shiny yellow hamburger wrappers. As a result, children beg and plead with their parents to take them around the corner for a burger meal. While big fast-food companies are making large sums of money from commercials, children are suffering health-wise by becoming fatter and fatter. Comment by tparks: Topic sentence with transition word Comment by tparks: In-text citation Comment by tparks: Specific, on-topic examples

Second, television harms society because of unrealistic body images for girls. Rushdie states, “…decency and [self-respect] is rendered [useless] in today’s society” (240). Most music videos create a very unrealistic view of the average girl’s body. Most of the video girls are tall and slim. They have long hair and almond shaped eyes. They have small waists and wear tight-fitting designer clothes, all details that usually appeal to men. Men are usually fighting each other just to stand next to the girl in the music video. When young girls see the attention that the video girls attract from men, they want to emulate these video girls, so they harm their bodies trying to achieve the unrealistic model-like look. Many young girls have died from eating disorders in hopes of trying to attain the images that they see on the television screen. Overall, television can really distort a girl’s view of her body image. Comment by tparks: In-text citation

Third, television has harmed society with the increased depictions of violence. For instance, crime shows like 48 Hours depicts violent homicides. One past episode showed a woman strangled to death with a telephone cord. Rushdie states, “One murder is barely enough, ” especially to a society whose feelings have been numbed to television violence a long time ago (232). When non-thinking people see violence on television, sometimes they want to commit those same violent crimes in reality. Surveillance cameras have captured many violent people in the act of committing crimes; and unfortunately, these criminals imitate the moves and words that they see on television to commit violent crimes. Undoubtedly, if the American television broadcasters do not limit or alter the violent depictions shown on television, the American crime rate will continue to increase.

In conclusion, although television entertains many people, it also harms people. Television harms society by increasing childhood obesity. Children should be made to turn the television off and do more exercise. Plus, television harms society by creating unrealistic body images for young girls, and by showcasing too much violence. Everybody should work hard to improve the quality of television. Comment by tparks: Conclusion

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