Interpersonal Communication Discussion Board Post

Complete the worksheet below and answer each question in a discussion board posting.

– 400 word minimum

Choose a person and a situation in which you are currently experiencing or have experienced a conflict. (Example: A conflict between family or your personal relationship)

I.  Justify that it is, in fact, a conflict (rather than a difference of opinion or perspective) by demonstrating that it meets the five parts of the definition of a conflict.  So, define each of the following and then explain how your specific conflict fits each of these criteria.

***Reference the textbook (attached) chapters 10 and 11 ONLY.***

A.  Expressed Struggle

B.  Perceived Incompatible Goals

C.  Perceived Scarce Resources

D.  Interdependence

E.  Interference from the Other Party

II.  Describe how this conflict would be handled using each of the communication styles and conflict methods in your text.  To do this, briefly define each method.  Make sure to paraphrase the text.  After you have defined each method, describe your and the other person’s behavior that would be associated with each of these methods.  Discuss the pros and cons of each choice.

A.  Avoiding

B.  Accommodating

C.  Competing

D.  Compromising

E.  Collaborating

III.  Which choice would be the best and why? Answer all questions below, as well.

A.  Compare and contrast different skills that you have learned for dealing with differences of opinion/perspective and conflict in which there truly is a scarce resource.

B.  Reflect on the different styles and methods for conflict management.  How might less appropriate styles and methods of conflict management alter relationships?

C.  How does practicing the appropriate style and method in conflict demonstrate communication competence?

PLEASE FOLLOW Discussion Board Participation Rubric Guidelines:

Outstanding Contributor
Contributions reflect exceptional preparation. Ideas offered are always substantive, provide one or more major insights, and spur discussion in new and interesting directions. Challenges are well substantiated and persuasively presented. If this person were not a member of the class, the quality of course as a whole would be diminished markedly.


Good Contributor
Contributions reflect thorough preparation. Ideas offered are usually substantive, provide good insights, and occasionally spur discussion in new direction. Challenges are well substantiated and often persuasive. If this person were not a member of the class, the quality of discussion would be diminished.


Adequate Contributor
Contributions reflect satisfactory preparation. Ideas offered are sometimes substantive, provide generally useful insights but seldom offer a new direction for the discussion. Challenges are sometimes presented, are reasonably substantiated, and are sometimes persuasive. If this person were not a member of the class, the quality of discussion would be diminished somewhat.


This person says little or nothing. Hence, there is not an adequate basis for evaluation. If this person were not a member of the class, the quality of discussion would not be changed.


Unsatisfactory Contributor
Contributions reflect inadequate preparation. Ideas offered are seldom substantive; provide few if any insights and never a constructive direction for the class. Integrative comments and effective challenges are absent. If this person were not a member of the class, valuable class time would be saved and the quality of the course improved.


NEVER refrain from making a comment for fear of how it may effect your evaluation. This checklist evaluates participation over the span of a course, not your response to a given question, or even your performance on a given day. Much of the time, the only inappropriate questions or comments are those that are not made. Take a chance. Let your opinion be heard.

**TEXTBOOK PDF ATTACHED** (reference chapters 10 and 11 out of Gamble ONLY)

  • 2





    INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: Building Connections Together puts students in the center of interpersonal communication by …

    ACTIVELY engaging students by appealing to their interests in popular culture, media, and technology. SHOWING students how online connections affect the media generation and the dynamics of the interpersonal experience. PROVIDING abundant opportunities for students to actively apply and practice what they are learning. EXPLORING how gender and culture influence interaction. SHEDDING NEW LIGHT on the everyday interactions and relationships of students.

    This text uses an applied approach and an interactive style to engage students. Every chapter considers how media and technology affect the dynamics of relationships and self-expression. The authors also focus on diversity and developing cultural understanding through explorations in every chapter of how gender and culture help shape experiences of interpersonal communication.

    INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: Building Connections Together puts students in the center of interpersonal communication through abundant interactive pedagogical features throughout the text, including:

    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know?

    “I liked how it had a true/false section in the beginning of the chapter so you can see what you know before you even read the chapter.”

    —Margaret Rountree, Student Old Dominion University




    “The ‘What Do You Know’ sections are excellent because they provide a framework for students to read the chapter. It helps them determine what is most important.”

    —Todd Lee Goen, Professor Christopher Newport University




    Try This

    “My favorite feature is ‘Try This.’” —Wayne Thomas, Student

    Old Dominion University

    “I really like the ‘Try This’ because it provides instant ability for students to put into action what they are reading about in the text. Application is often the best way to learn so this is an awesome addition.”

    —Christa Tess Kalk, Professor Minneapolis Community & Technical College

    “The ‘Try This’ sections really seemed to spark some good discussion in the class. This allowed students to see their communication as effective or ineffective, appropriate or inappropriate, and allowed them to look inward. It gave them a chance to reflect on how/why they experience difficulties in relationships and how they can better approach conflict.”

    — Lee Lavery, Professor Ivy Tech Community College




    …….INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: Building Connections Together puts students in the center of interpersonal communication through abundant interactive pedagogical features throughout the text, including:

    Analyze This

    ANALYZE THIS: Edward de Bono

    Edward de Bono is a physician and leading authority on creative thinking. What does the following excerpt from de Bono’s I Am Right—You Are Wrong suggest about how the Japanese handle conflict?

    Every day the leading executives in the Japanese motor industry meet for lunch in their special club. They discuss problems common to the whole motor industry. But a soon as lunch is over and they step over the threshold of the club, out into the street, they are bitter enemies seeking to kill each other’s business by marketing, technical changes, pricing policy, etc. For the Japanese, who do not have the tradition of Western logic, there is no contradiction at all between “friend” and “enemy.” They find it easy to conceive of someone as a friend–enemy or enemy–friend.

    SOURCE: Edward de Bono, I Am Right—You Are Wrong, New York: Viking, 1991, p. 196.

    Reflect on This

    “…so many opportunities to really engage learning throughout the chapter with reflection questions, application ideas, etc. Excellent!”

    —Christa Tess Kalk, Professor Minneapolis Community & Technical College

    REFLECT ON THIS: The Cell Effect

    Researcher Noelle Chesley wanted to find out if the time people spent on cell-phones enhanced or detracted from their overall feelings of happiness. To answer the question, Chesley surveyed more than




    1,200 adults, concluding that a correlation existed: the more time individuals spent on cell-phones the less happy and less satisfied they became with their family relationships. Chesley attributed this, at least in part, to the work lives of people spilling over into their personal lives and causing stress at home.

    Consider these questions:

    1. Do your experiences confirm Chesley’s findings? Does time spent on your cell stress the relationships you share with people important to you, perhaps because you divide your attention, with less attention being paid to the person(s) with you?

    2. Do you think Chesley would have found the same results if she had studied the time we spend on tablets or computers? Explain your answer.

    3. What recommendations can you offer for alleviating such relationship stressors? For example, would you expect others to abide by rules specifying when to use cell phones or other digital tools?

    Source: Noelle Chesley, “Blurring Boundaries? Linking Technology Use, Spillover, Individual Distress, and Family Satisfaction.” Journal of Marriage and Family, 67, 2005, p. 1237–1238.

    and with even more pedagogy like: • Sections in every chapter which focus on Gender, Culture,

    Media, and Technology • Connect the Case feature ends chapter with a case study for

    further application • SAGE Original Interpersonal Communication Scenario Videos • Review This section at the end of each chapter including a

    • Chapter Summary • Chapter Review • Check Your Understanding • Check Your Skills • Key Terms • SAGE Student Study Site Details





    “SAGE’s free and open-access site will be the biggest draw for all of those tools since many online accompanying tools usually cost students quite a bit extra. The flashcards and study questions would draw my personal interest the most.”

    —Lyndsi Earle, Student Old Dominion University

    SAGE provides comprehensive and free online resources at designed to support and enhance both instructors’ and students’ experiences.

    Students maximize their understanding of introduction to interpersonal communication through the free, open-access Student Study Site.





    • SAGE Journal Articles

    • SAGE Original Videos

    • Web resources

    • eFlashcards

    • Web quizzes

    • Study questions

    • Social media guidelines

    • Video resources

    • Self-assessment quizzes


    Strikes a never-before-seen balance between general education goals AND preparation for Communication majors (links to journal articles in Communication are a major plus).”

    —Kathleen Glenister Roberts, Professor




    Duquesne University

    SAGE provides comprehensive and free online resources at designed to support and enhance both instructors’ and students’ experiences.

    Instructors benefit from access to the password-protected Instructor Teaching Site.





    • Test bank

    • PowerPoint slides

    • Sample syllabi

    • Class assignments

    • Video resources

    • Web resources

    • SAGE WATCH THIS scenario videos and video links

    • SAGE Journal Articles with articles for every chapter (includes information on how to read and critique a journal article)

    • Social media guidelines

    …….INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: Building Connections Together puts students in the center of interpersonal communication by asking them what they think of our text. Here is what they are saying:


    “The writing was really easy to comprehend. I really like all the self- assessments. After taking all the self-assessments I could learn a little bit more about myself.”

    —Juliana Pires, Student Old Dominion University

    “The text is user-friendly, seems to be geared toward an introductory student level, and offers real-life examples that promote understanding/application.”

    —Lee Lavery, Professor Ivy Tech Community College




    “My favorite chapter was the constructive communication behaviors, and it has helped me by teaching me about the role reversal technique, which I didn’t know about before—it will allow me to see the other person’s side more clearly.”

    —Gabriel Lopez, Student Old Dominion University


    “I really liked the GUIDELINES FOR RESOLVING CONFLICT because having the proper knowledge to resolve conflicts can help us to improve our interpersonal skills and communicate better with people, avoiding problems.”

    —Rosario Villagra, Student Old Dominion University

    “The activities give a better idea of a complex subject. The way the information is written and laid out is simple to understand and involves the reader more. I liked how it had a true/false section in the beginning of the chapter so you can see what you know before you even read the chapter.”

    —Margaret Rountree, Student Old Dominion University

    “The nonverbal chapter is the best I’ve seen.” —Todd Lee Goen, Professor

    Christopher Newport University





    “…relatable stories and examples, as well as fun learning activities.” —Amanda Osborn, Student

    Old Dominion University

    “…interesting, easily understood, and I liked the fact that current pop culture examples were mentioned.”

    —Stacy Evans, Student Ohlone College

    …….INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: Building Connections Together puts students in the center of interpersonal communication by offering them a lower-priced option


    “Of course as a college student I think the SAGE value price is great!” —Melissa Temple, Student

    Old Dominion University

    “Price is always a concern for students. As educators, we need to make certain our students are getting the best materials possible at a reasonable price.”

    —Lee Lavery, Professor Ivy Tech Community College








    ……….. Building Connections Together ………..









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    Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

    Gamble, Teri Kwal.

    Interpersonal communication : building connections together / Teri Kwal Gamble, College of New Rochelle, Michael W. Gamble, New York Institute of Technology.

    pages cm Includes bibliographical references and index.

    ISBN 978–2-4522–2-0 (pbk.)

    1. Interpersonal communication. 2. Communication—Psychological aspects. I. Gamble, Michael, 1943- II. Title.

    HM1166.G36 2013 302—dc23 2012046294

    This book is printed on acid-free paper.




    13 14 15 16 17 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1




    Brief Contents













    Health-Related Contexts











    Detailed Contents






    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? What Is Interpersonal Communication?

    Interpersonal Communication Is about Relationships Interpersonal Communication Takes Two Interpersonal Communication Is a Lifelong Project

    TRY THIS: Today, Who Is a Stranger? Models of Interpersonal Communication

    ANALYZE THIS: Are You in a Disguise? People

    TRY THIS: Rating Relationships Messages Channels




    Noise Feedback Context Effect Visualizing Communication

    How Does Interpersonal Communication Enhance Our Lives? It Fulfills Psychological Functions

    TRY THIS: Making Model Sense It Fulfills Social Functions It Fulfills Information Functions It Fulfills Influence Functions

    TRY THIS: Functions in Action Understanding Interpersonal Contact: Characteristics, Patterns, and Axioms

    of Communication Five Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication

    Interpersonal Communication Is a Dynamic Process Interpersonal Communication Is Unrepeatable Interpersonal Communication Is Irreversible Interpersonal Communication Is Learned Interpersonal Communication Is Characterized by Wholeness and

    Nonsummativity Interpersonal Patterns Five Communication Axioms

    Axiom 1: You Cannot Not Communicate Axiom 2: Every Interaction Has Content and Relationship Dimensions Axiom 3: Every Interaction Is Defined by How It Is Punctuated Axiom 4: Messages Consist of Verbal Symbols and Nonverbal Cues Axiom 5: Interactions Are Either Symmetrical or Complementary

    The Impact of Diversity and Culture Diversity and Communication Style Orientation and Cultural Context

    Individual and Collective Orientation High-Context and Low-Context Communication

    The Impact of Gender Gender and Communication Style

    The Impact of Media and Technology




    TRY THIS: What’s Okay with You? On the Way to Gaining Communication Competence

    Add to Your Storehouse of Knowledge about Interpersonal Communication

    Recognize How Your Relationships Affect You Analyze Your Options Interact Ethically, Respect Diversity, and Think Critically about Your

    Person-to-Person Contacts

    REFLECT ON THIS: The Cell Effect Practice and Apply Skills to Improve Interpersonal Performance

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of Sylvia and Khalil Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms


    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? The Self-Concept: Your Answer to Who You Are

    ANALYZE THIS: The Clown TRY THIS: Who Are You? How Are the Self and Self-Concept Related?

    How Accurate Is the Self-Concept? Self-Esteem: Assessing Self-Worth

    High versus Low Self-Esteem




    Self-Esteem and Performance How Others Shape Our Self-Concept

    We Reflect Others’ Appraisals

    TRY THIS: Feelings about Age and Physical Ability We Compare Ourselves with Others We Have Perceived, Ideal, and Expected Selves

    Goffman’s Dramaturgical Approach Imagining a Future Self

    TRY THIS: The “Authentic” Self Reactions to You: Confirming, Rejecting, and Disconfirming Responses

    The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: The Influence of Positive and Negative Pygmalions

    TRY THIS: Ups and Downs Revising Your Self-Concept: Reexamining Impressions and Conceptions

    Diversity and Culture in Relationships: How Important Is the “I”? The Self in Individualistic and Collectivistic Cultures

    REFLECT ON THIS: Changes The Self in High- and Low-Context Cultures The Self in High- and Low-Power-Distance Cultures

    TRY THIS: Are You an “I” or Part of a “We”? Attitudes toward the Self across Cultures

    Gender and Self-Concept

    TRY THIS: Young and Old Seeing the Self through the Media and Technology Looking Glass

    REFLECT ON THIS: Beauty Standards and Dying to Be Thin The Impact of the Media The Impact of Technology

    ANALYZE THIS: MEdia Gaining Communication Competence: Ways to Strengthen Your Self-Concept

    Update Pictures Take Lots and Lots of Pictures Explore Others’ Pictures of You




    Picture Possibilities

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of Aisha’s Term Paper Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms


    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? Our Perception Defines Our Reality

    Do We See the Same Realty? Perception in Action: The Process at Work

    Selection Organization Evaluation and Interpretation Memory Response

    ANALYZE THIS: The Deceptiveness of Appearance Frameworks of Perception

    Schemata Perceptual Sets and Selectivities

    REFLECT ON THIS: Attribution Theory

    TRY THIS: Lessons Learned Ethnocentrism and Stereotypes

    Barriers to Accurate Perception




    REFLECT ON THIS: Stereotypes Age and Person Perception

    TRY THIS: The Appearance Factor Fact-Inference Confusions

    TRY THIS: Can You Tell the Difference? Allness Indiscrimination

    ANALYZE THIS: Is That All There Is? Frozen Evaluations and Snap Judgments Blindering Judging Others More Harshly than Ourselves

    Diversity and Culture: Interpreting through Different I’s

    Gender and Perception

    The Media, Technology, and Perception The Media and Perception Technology and Perception

    Gaining Communication Competence: Enhancing Your Perceptual Abilities Recognize the Part You Play Be a Patient Perceiver

    TRY THIS: Facebook in Focus Become a Perception Checker Widen Your Perception See through the Eyes of Another Build Perceptual Bridges, Not Walls Consider How Technology Is Changing How We Perceive

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of Dax’s Trial Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms






    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? Listening in Your Life

    Differences between Hearing and Listening

    The Differences between Effective and Ineffective Listeners

    ANALYZE THIS: Understanding “Understanding” Stages of Listening

    TRY THIS: How’s Your LQ (Listening Quotient)? Stage 1: Hearing Stage 2: Understanding Stage 3: Remembering Stage 4: Interpreting Stage 5: Evaluating Stage 6: Responding

    Styles and Types of Listening Styles of Listening

    People-Oriented Listening

    REFLECT ON THIS: When Is Listening Not First and Foremost? Action-Oriented Listening Content-Oriented Listening Time-Oriented Listening

    Types of Listening Appreciative Listening Comprehensive Listening Critical/Deliberative Listening Empathetic Listening




    Listening Ethics Do You Tune Out?

    ANALYZE THIS: Active and Inactive Listening Do You Fake Attention? Do You Ignore Specific Individuals? Do You Lose Emotional Control? Do You Avoid Challenging Content? Are you Egocentric? Do You Waste Potential Listening Time? Are You Overly Apprehensive? Are You Suffering Symptoms of Listening Burnout?

    Hurdling Listening Roadblocks

    Responding with Feedback Defining Feedback Feedback Options

    Feedback May Be Immediate or Delayed Feedback May Be Person- or Message-Focused Feedback May Be Low- or High-Monitored Feedback May Be Evaluative or Nonevaluative

    Culture’s Influence on Listening

    TRY THIS: It’s in the “I”s

    TRY THIS: Culture, Communication Style, and Feedback Gender’s Influence on Listening

    Media and Technological Influences on Listening Media Influences Technology’s Influences

    TRY THIS: The Ethics of Illusionary Listening Gaining Communication Competence: Becoming a Better Listener

    Catch Yourself Exhibiting a Bad Habit Substitute a Good Habit for a Bad Habit Listen with Your Whole Body Consistently Use Your Ears, Not Just Your Mouth See the Other Side




    Don’t Listen Assumptively Participate Actively

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of Nonlistening Flora Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms


    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? Defining Language

    The Meaning of Words The Triangle of Meaning

    Removing Semantic Barriers Differentiate Denotative and Connotative Meaning Recognize How Time and Place May Change Meaning

    TRY THIS: Measuring Meaning Consider the Effect of Your Words

    Euphemisms and Linguistic Ambiguity Recognize Emotive Language

    TRY THIS: Euphemisms and Strategic Ambiguity Acknowledge the Power of Polarizing Language Balance Politically Correct Language Beware of Bypassing

    REFLECT ON THIS: Which Do You Prefer?




    Don’t Be Misled by Labels

    TRY THIS: Is It Politically Correct or Incorrect? Language and Relationships: Communication Style, Words, and Feelings

    ANALYZE THIS: Hurtful Words Culturespeak

    TRY THIS: The Language-Culture Link Genderspeak

    Language Can Diminish and Stereotype Women and Men Language Practices Reflect Goals and Feelings about Power

    Age and Language

    REFLECT ON THIS: The Muted Group Language, Media, and Technology

    Experiencing Media

    TRY THIS: How Would You Reengineer a Media Image? Experiencing Technology

    Gaining Communication Competence: Making Your Words Work Are My Words Clear? Are My Words Appropriate? Am I Using Words That Are Concrete? Do My Words Speak to the Other Person and Reflect the Context? Do I Share “to Me” Meaning? Do I Respect Uniqueness? Do I Look for Growth?

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Wounding Words Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms





    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? Defining Nonverbal Communication

    The Functions and Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication The Functions of Nonverbal Cues Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication

    All Nonverbal Behavior Has Message Value Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous Nonverbal Communication Is Predominantly Relational Nonverbal Behavior May Reveal Deception

    TRY THIS: It’s Not Just What You Say … Reading Nonverbal Messages

    Kinesics: The Messages of Movement Face and Eye Talk Putting on a Face: The Ethics of Face-Work

    ANALYZE THIS: Facecrime Gestures and Posture: The Body in Motion and at Rest

    TRY THIS: The Ethics of Impression Creation Decoding the Body’s Messages

    Paralinguistics: The Messages of the Voice Pitch Volume Rate Articulation and Pronunciation

    REFLECT ON THIS: Ummmmmmm … Hesitations and Silence

    Proxemics: Space and Distance Talks Spatial Relationships: Near or Far Places and Their Spaces: Decoding the Environment




    Territoriality: Yours and Mine Haptics: Touch Artifactual Communication and Appearance Olfactics: Smell Color: Associations and Connections Chronemics: The Communicative Value of Time

    Culture and Nonverbal Behavior

    REFLECT ON THIS: Does Beauty Pay? Gender and Nonverbal Behavior

    TRY THIS: The Race Factor Nonverbal Cues and Flirting: Expressing Interest or Disinterest

    TRY THIS: Top Billing Media, Technology, and Nonverbal Messages

    TRY THIS: Can You Read the Cues? Gaining Communication Competence in Nonverbal Communication

    Pay Attention to Nonverbal Messages When Uncertain about a Nonverbal Cue’s Meaning, Ask! Realize Inconsistent Messages Have Communicative Value Match the Degree of Closeness you Seek with the Nonverbal Behavior

    You Display Monitor Your Nonverbal Behavior Acknowledge That Abilities to Encode and Decode Nonverbal

    Messages Vary

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of Surprised Sam Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms





    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? The Importance of Conversational Contact

    TRY THIS: Do You Like to Talk? What Is Conversation?

    TRY THIS: The Elevator Conversation: Games and Players Conversational Structure

    TRY THIS: Conversational Analysis The Greeting Topic Priming The Heart of the Conversation Preliminary Processing The Closing

    Conversational Management Turn Taking: Maintaining and Yielding the Floor The Cooperation Principle

    TRY THIS: Whose Turn Is It, Anyway? The Dialogue Principle

    ANALYZE THIS: Relationship Turns Repairing Conversational Damage

    Cultural Differences and Conversation

    Gender Differences and Conversation

    REFLECT ON THIS: Interruptitis Media and Technology Talk

    ANALYZE THIS: Don’t Finish My Thoughts




    TRY THIS: Squawk Talk Media Talk Technology Talk

    Gaining Communication Competence: Improving Your Conversation Skills Develop Metaconversational Abilities Develop Awareness of How Culture and Gender Differences Affect

    Conversation Strive to Improve Conversation Initiation, Management, and

    Termination Abilities

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Company Party Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms



    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? What Are Emotions?

    Why Emotional Intelligence Is Important The Look and Feel of Emotions

    Surprise! Anger Happiness Sadness




    REFLECT ON THIS: Can Exercise Make You Happy and Less Stressed? Fear Disgust Emotions: Primary, Mixed, and Contagious

    Emotions Affect Evaluations

    TRY THIS: Emotional Checkup Relationships and Emotions

    Are Your Emotions Facilitative or Debilitative? What Do You Tell Yourself?

    TRY THIS: Do You Have Resilience? What Do You Tell Another Person?

    ANALYZE THIS: Should You Tell? What Is Your Emotional Attachment Style?

    Culture and the Expression of Emotion

    TRY THIS: Are You a Face-Saver? Gender and the Expression of Emotion

    Media and Technology: Channeling Feelings Media Models

    TRY THIS: Sharing Feelings Technological Channels

    TRY THIS: Modeling Gaining Communication Competence: Communicating Emotion

    Recognize That Thoughts Cause Feelings Choose the Right Words Show That You Accept Responsibility for Your Feelings Share Feelings Fully Decide When, Where, and to Whom to Reveal Feelings Describe the Response You Seek

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of Late Jean Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms





    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? What Is Trust?

    The Bases of Trust The Components of Trust

    Trusting Behavior Trustworthy Behavior

    TRY THIS: Can I Depend on You? Can You Depend on Me? Failed Trust

    Forgiveness: Rebuilding a Relationship after Trust Is Betrayed

    ANALYZE THIS: Misplaced Trust Cost-Benefit Theory: The Price We Are Willing to Pay for a Relationship

    Defining the Relational Situation

    TRY THIS: Relationship Balance Sheet Cooperative and Competitive Relationships

    TRY THIS: Cooperative or Competitive? Supportive and Defensive Relationships

    Evaluation versus Description Control versus Problem Orientation Strategy versus Spontaneity

    ANALYZE THIS: On the Defensive Neutrality versus Empathy Superiority versus Equality Certainty versus Provisionalism

    Deception and Relationship Ethics




    TRY THIS: Cornered Why Do We Lie?

    REFLECT ON THIS: Building Company Trust White Lies: Motivation Matters Lying to Ourselves: Defensive Strategies

    Displacement Repression Rationalization

    Relational Counterfeiters The Effects of Lying

    REFLECT ON THIS: Richard S. Lazarus and the Case for White Lies The Effects of Gossip

    Culture and Trust

    TRY THIS: How Prepared Are You to Trust? Gender and Trust

    Media, Technology, and Lessons on Trust The Media and Trust Technology and Trust

    Gaining Communication Competence: Nurturing a Trusting Relationship Be Willing to Disclose Yourself to Another Person Let the Other Person Know You Accept and Support Him or Her Develop a Cooperative/Supportive Rather than a

    Competitive/Defensive Orientation Trust Another When Warranted

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Trusting Agent Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms





    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? The Control Factor: Exploring the Balance of Power in Relationships

    Feeling Powerful versus Powerless Are You Socially Anxious? Are You on a Power Trip?

    Where Does Power Come From? Power Categories

    TRY THIS: What’s Your Power Orientation? Reward Power Coercive Power Expert Power Legitimate Power Referent Power Persuasive Power

    Exercising Persuasion The Role of Attitudes

    What Is an Attitude?

    TRY THIS: Powerful People and Power Plays Where Do Our Attitudes Come From?

    The Role of Beliefs What Are Beliefs?

    TRY THIS: Assessing Attitudes and Surveying Beliefs Defining and Characterizing Values

    Gaining Compliance in Interpersonal Relationships Strategies for Compliance Gaining

    ANALYZE THIS: The Diary of a Young Girl TRY THIS: Graphing Your Values




    Strategies for Balancing Attitudes Routes to Interpersonal Influence

    TRY THIS: Tensions and Tactics Diversity, Values, and Relational Power

    Gender and the Balance of Power

    TRY THIS: Who Has the Power? REFLECT ON THIS: Power Issues by Gender Media, Technology, and Power Shifts

    Media Power Technological Power

    Gaining Communication Competence: Controlling Relationships Use Power Wisely Understand How Beliefs, Values, and Attitudes Affect Interactions Capitalize on the Need for Balance

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Power Moment Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms


    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? The Meaning of Conflict

    Conflict Defined Conflict Is Based on Interaction




    Feelings about Conflict Functional Conflict Dysfunctional Conflict

    TRY THIS: Thinking through Conflict Conflict’s Sources

    Interactions among Individuals Conflict-Generating Behaviors

    Preemptive Striking Forcing Blaming

    Classifying Conflicts The Nature of the Goal The Intensity Level of the Conflict

    TRY THIS: How Verbally Aggressive Are You? The Character of the Conflict

    Conflict Management Styles Avoiding Competitive Compromising Accommodative Collaborative

    TRY THIS: Where Are You on the Grid? Communication Behavior in the Face of Conflict

    Destructive Communication Behaviors Constructive Communication Behaviors DESC Scripts

    Describe Express Specify Consequences

    Your Expressive Style: Nonassertive, Aggressive, or Assertive

    TRY THIS: A Self-Assessment Nonassertiveness

    Why We Do Not Assert Ourselves Nonassertive Language

    Aggressiveness Why We Act Aggressively Aggressive Language




    Assertiveness Learning Assertive Behavior Assertive Language

    Culture and Conflict Resolution

    ANALYZE THIS: Edward de Bono Gender and Conflict Resolution

    Media, Technology, and Conflict Resolution: Models or Madness Media Portrayals: Model the Way

    REFLECT ON THIS: Lessons Learned Technology: Real and Unreal

    TRY THIS: It’s War! Gaining Communication Competence: Guidelines for Resolving Conflict

    Recognize That Conflict Can Be Resolved Rationally Agree about How to Define the Conflict Exchange Perceptions: Describe, Express, Specify, and Note

    Behavioral Consequences Assess Alternative Solutions and Choose the One That Seems Best

    Implement and Evaluate the Selected Solution

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Jousting Roommates Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms






    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? Why Do We Need Relationships?

    Relationships Preserve Happiness and Health Relationships Prevent Isolation Relationships Meet Interpersonal Needs

    ANALYZE THIS: By Yourself Relationships Serve as Behavioral Anchors Relationships Function as Communication Conduits

    TRY THIS: How Do You Feel about Being In /Out, Up/Down, or Close/Far?

    When Good, Relationships Help Maintain Our Sense of Worth Relationship Characteristics

    Duration Contact Frequency Sharing Support Interaction Variability Goals

    Forming Friendships The Nature of Intimacy The Nature of Acquaintanceship

    TRY THIS: Measuring Intimacy The Nature of Friendship

    Role-Limited Interaction Friendly Relations Moving toward Friendship Nascent Friendship Stabilized Friendship Waning Friendship

    Romance: Coming Together and Breaking Apart Love’s Dimensions The Triangle of Love Love’s Stages




    Stage 1: Initiating Stage 2: Experimenting Stage 3: Intensifying Stage 4: Integrating Stage 5: Bonding Stage 6: Differentiating Stage 7: Circumscribing

    ANALYZE THIS: Status Updates Stage 8: Stagnating Stage 9: Avoiding Stage 10: Terminating

    TRY THIS: Looking at Your Relationships Relationship Attractors

    Physical Attractiveness Social Attractiveness

    REFLECT ON THIS: The Romantic Attraction Factor Task Attractiveness Proximity Reinforcement Similarity Complementarity

    TRY THIS: Attractors Culture and Connection

    Does the Culture Place More Stress on Individuals or on Social Relationships?

    Does the Culture Promote the Development of Short- or Long-Term Relationships?

    Does the Culture Value Results or the Interactional Process? Gender and Relationship Formation

    Media, Technology, and Social Worlds Media Portrayals of Friendship and Romance

    TRY THIS: Ties That Bind Technology: Meeting in Cyberspace

    Gaining Communication Competence: Mastering Relationship Complexities Understand That Relationships Don’t Just Happen




    Recognize Why We Need Others Understand the Nature of Friendship and Romantic Relationships Meet the Challenges Posed by Media and Technology

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Job Promotion Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms


    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? Self-Disclosure and Intimacy

    Social Penetration Theory

    TRY THIS: Social Penetration—in Casual and Intimate Relationships The Johari Window and Self-Disclosure

    REFLECT ON THIS: Sharing in Close Relationships Using Relational Dialectics to Understand Relationships

    TRY THIS: Window Gazing Integration-Separation Stability-Change Expression-Privacy Working through Dialectical Tensions

    TRY THIS: Try to See It My Way Relationship Maintenance




    TRY THIS: What’s Fair? Relationship Repair: Fix It or End It

    Identify the Problem Identify Strategies to Repair the Problem Decide to Dissolve or Save the Relationship

    The Dark Side of Relationships:

    Dysfunctions and Toxic Communication

    REFLECT ON THIS: Abusive Relationships Relationships and Death: Processing Grief

    Culture and Relational Intimacy

    Gender, Intimacy, and Distance

    ANALYZE THIS: Feelings Media and Technology: The Decline of Privacy and Distance

    Gaining Communication Competence: Handling Both Relational Closeness and Distance

    TRY THIS: At a Distance How Important to You Is This Person? Are You Willing to Initiate Interaction? How Much and What Kind of Intimacy Do You Desire? How Accepting Are You of the Other Person? How Are You Willing to Support the Other Person? Do You Recognize That Your Relationship Will Change? Can Your Relationship Survive the Distance Test? Do You Know When to Continue and When to End a Relationship?

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Plane Trip Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms





    Learning Objectives

    What Do You Know? The Nature of Familial Communication The Family as Communication

    System Family Members Are Interdependent The Family Is Greater than the Sum of Its Parts Family Members Engage in Mutual Influence

    TRY THIS: Virginia Satir on “Peoplemaking” Family Communication: Roles and Rules

    ANALYZE THIS: Transitions

    TRY THIS: The Rules We Live By Communication Patterns in Families

    Problematic Communication Patterns Productive Communication Patterns Your Family Network

    Culture and the Family Varying Family Composition Varying Communication Styles Varying Family Roles

    TRY THIS: Role Call Gender and the Family Media, Technology, and the Family

    Interpersonal Communication at Work

    TRY THIS: The TV Family Relationships Are the Organization The Dyad and the Organization

    A Question of Dependence and Independence A Question of Trust




    A Question of Perception Networks, Interaction, and Relationship Satisfaction Working in Teams

    Create Healthy Work Climates Practice Effective Decision Making

    REFLECT ON THIS: The Effects of Groupthink Culture and the Workplace

    Are Workers Dominant or Submissive? Are Workers Individualistic or Collectivistic? How Do Workers Perceive the Need for Space? How Do Workers Perceive Time? How Diverse Are the Interpersonal Needs and Skills of Workers? Are Members of Different Generations Prepared to Work Together?

    Gender and the Workplace

    TRY THIS: Culture Can Shock Stereotypes of Women in Organizations Stereotypes of Men in Organizations Gender and Work-Life Balance Leadership and Management Style Workplace Pathologies: Bullying and Sexual Harassment

    Media, Technology, and the Workplace Media Portrayals Technological Realities

    Interpersonal Communication in Health Care Settings The Consumer–Health Care Provider Dyad

    Sensitivity Matters Clear Communication Matters Perceptions Matter Decision Making Matters

    Culture and Health Communication Gender and Health Care Media, Technology, and Health Care

    Media Messages Technology Messages

    Gaining Communication Competence across Contexts Prepare to Handle Conflict across Contexts Recognize That You Cannot Stay as You Are or Always Be Happy

    and in Good Health




    Learn about Each Other

    CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Problematic Reunion Chapter Summary

    Check Your Understanding Check Your Skills Key Terms









    AN APPLIED APPROACH Interpersonal Communication: Building Connections Together takes an applied approach to exploring the central role of interpersonal communication in our twenty-first-century lives. Whether with family, friends, or coworkers, in personal or professional contexts, enacted face-to-face and up close and personal or online with technological assistance, interpersonal communication skills affect the nature and development of all relationships.


    We had a number of goals in writing this text. First, we wanted to reach students by appealing to their interests in and fascination with popular culture, media, and technology. This volume actively engages students by facilitating their personal observation, processing, and analysis of what occurs as individuals connect interpersonally in the real world and as depicted in popular culture, media, and online. We offer many examples from popular culture and social networking sites to enter students’ worlds and meet them where they are.


    Second, we wanted to provide numerous opportunities for students to cocreate content and actively apply and practice what they are learning. Exercises in the text encourage students to compose personal observations as they observe and process interpersonal interactions. As a result, Interpersonal Communication: Building Connections Together is one text that students will be able to call “their own.”

    As we noted, this text offers an applied approach. Its strengths are its interactive style and its pedagogy, which affirm the reader as the central player in the life of the textbook. We place our text’s emphasis on how we connect with others and on “how we can do it better” so that the book’s users will discover how they can employ interpersonal skills to enrich their personal and professional lives.





    Premise 1: A text on interpersonal communication should consider how popular culture, media, and technology influence the imagined and actual person-to-person interactions of students. Whether subtly or overtly, the impressions of interpersonal communication that we derive from popular culture and online shape our relationships, influencing our views of self and others, affecting what we expect from relationships, and ultimately influencing how we evaluate the effectiveness of our person-to-person relationships and skills.

    Premise 2: A text on interpersonal communication should consider how technology, culture, and gender influence person-to-person interactions. We no longer interact with others solely face-to-face. Thus, a key theme of any new book on interpersonal communication needs to be how online connections affect the “MEdia” generation and the dynamics of the interpersonal experience. We also can no longer expect to communicate solely with people who are mirror images of or just like us. Our world is both too complex and too small, and the people with whom we interact are too diverse, for us even to imagine that we could succeed without understanding how gender and culture influence our person-to-person connections. Thus, by developing two additional text themes, how gender and culture preferences influence interaction, we encourage students to take a step toward improving relationship outcomes. No longer are cultural understanding and sensitivity to difference merely assets; now they are prerequisites of effective and insightful interpersonal communication.

    Premise 3: A text on interpersonal communication should consider the effects of the varied contexts of our lives. Although it is important to consider the content traditionally covered in interpersonal communication courses, it is also important to widen the scope of our consideration to include interactions occurring in the family, in the workplace, and in health care arenas. The ability to interact effectively across our life spans with friends, family members, coworkers and employers, peers, and health professionals is essential for both personal wellness and professional well-being.

    ORGANIZATION OF THE TEXT The book is divided into four main parts: Foundations, Messages, Dynamics, and Relationships in Context. We begin with the building blocks of interpersonal communication (Part I: Foundations), then we consider the kinds of information that we share when we connect interpersonally (Part II: Messages), then we look more closely at the variable factors that affect our interpersonal communication (Part III: Dynamics), and finally we explore the full range of relationships that we build together through communication (Part




    IV: Relationships in Context).

    Part I comprises three chapters: Chapter 1, “Interpersonal Communication: A First Look”; Chapter 2, “The Impact of Self-Concept”; and Chapter 3, “Perception.” Together, these initial chapters set the stage for our subsequent study of the sharing of messages during interpersonal communication, our consideration of factors influencing how we personally enact interpersonal communication, and, finally, our in-depth exploration of different relational

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