The Power of Words Worksheet

01.10  Macbeth:  The  Power  of  Words  Worksheet

Step  1:  Character  Interpretation

Earlier  in  this  lesson  you  read  two  different  interpretations  of  a  scene  featuring  Lady   Macbeth.  You  were  asked  to  view  a  stage  performance  of  the  same  scene  in  order  to   answer  this  question:  How  does  this  interpretation  compare  to  the  others?  In  a   response  of  at  least  @ive  sentences,  comment  on  the  stage  interpretation  and  explain   your  impression  of  Lady  Macbeth  in  this  scene.  Use  speci@ic  examples  from  the  clip   to  support  your  answer.  Things  to  consider:  her  facial  expressions,  body  language,   and  tone  of  voice.

Step  2:  Setting  Interpretation

Choose  one  of  the  provided  scenes  from  Macbeth  that  you  have  previously  studied  in   this  course  and  locate  or  create  an  image  that  shows  a  @itting  setting  for  that  scene.   In  a  response  of  at  least  @ive  sentences,  explain  why  you  chose  the  image.  Use   examples  from  the  play  and  the  image  to  support  your  reasoning.  Include  the  scene   and  the  image  along  with  your  response.

 

The Great Gatspy Paper

Paper 1 turns out to be five paragraphs in length, with the three body
paragraphs written with 20 sentences each.  That means that the  body
paragraphs will be 20 sentences long, or a total of 60 sentences.  The
opening and closing paragraphs will be about five or so sentences in
length.
6. Paper 1 Preparation
6.1. Module 6.1: Getting Started–the Openng of Paper 1
6.2. Module 6.2: Evaluation Criteria
6.3. Module 6.3: Outlining
6.4. Module 6.4: Checklist
6.5. Module 6.5: Sample Paper
6.6. Module 6.6: Sample Paper
6.7. Module 6.7: Sample Thesis Statements for P1
6.8. Module 6.8: How Will Your Professor Evaluate Your Paper?
6.9. Module 6.9: Two Sample Papers 1
6.10. Module 6.10: Using Description and Example
6.11. The Writing Process
6.12. Three Assignments for Paper 1
6.13. Methods of Development
6.14. Getting Started–the Body of Paper 1
6.15. Getting Started–the Closing of Paper 1

6. Paper 1 Preparation
6.1. Module 6.1: Getting Started–the Openng of Paper 1
 
 
 

Getting Started–Paper 1

Your topic is not a matter of life and death, yet the idea of the American dream is an important myth in American culture and history. Thus, your first paragraph (I), the opening, must have three elements: Thesis, Three Organizing Ideas, and Statement of Significance.

Opening for Paper 1

How to get started and things to keep in mind as you write:

1.  To start your essay, use the following phrasing:

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby (verb of your choice)….

Make this first sentence of the essay be your thesis statement.

See http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/1/1/ for a discussion of thesis statements.

There is discussion in textbooks about where to place your thesis: Should it be the first sentence? Should it be in the middle of the first paragraph or at the end of the first paragraph?

For this class, for the purpose of uniformity and clarity for your reader (me), make your first sentence be your thesis statement.

Sample: F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby devotes itself primarily to the failure of the American dream.

2. Follow that thesis statement with your organizing idea sentences. There should be three of these sentences, one for each 20-sentence paragraph in the body of the essay.

The organizing idea sentences tell the reader in advance what is in the three-part body of the paper. You probably should not try to write these organizing idea sentences (some call them advanced organizers or controlling ideas) until your paper is completed because you may not be clear about what exactly your three-part body is about until after you have written it.

An example:

This paper will explain what the American dream is.

It will place the dream into the context of The Great Gatsby‘s setting.

Finally, it will relate the ideas of the dream to three characters.

3.  Last, create a statement of significance, which explains why this paper is important, significant, or interesting. Some call it a hook to get the reader’s interest.

An example:

The American dream helped to build the United States for two centuries, and Fitzgerald was testing its effectiveness in the 20th century.

 

One test for you is:

Does the thesis statement align with the conclusion?  Another is does the title align with the thesis and conclusion?

The total length of Paper 1 is five paragraphs.

 

 

6.2. Module 6.2: Evaluation Criteria
 
 
 

This Module applies the planning for Paper 1 to the Evaluation Criteria

NOTE:

1,  Boldface refers to Evaluation Criteria

2.  Underlining refers to the organization of Paper One.

Evaluation Criteria

1. Elements of Organization (These Arabic numerals in bold face refer to the Evaluation Criteria.)

I. Opening paragraph: It needs both a thesis statement and an organizing idea. It should end with a statement of significance. (These Roman numerals refer to the organization of your essay in outline form.)

V. Closing paragraph: It needs a summary, a conclusion, and a hint of things to come. (These Roman numerals refer to the organization of your essay in outline form.) Hint: If you end up writing the opening and closing of the paper at the end of the writing process, after you have written most of the three-segment body of the paper, you would be right on task. Three body paragraphs should be 20 sentences each. Body paragraph

II. What is the American dream in general terms (but be prepared to relate your description to the novel)? 20 sentences Body paragraph

III. What is the American dream in The Great Gatsby? 20 sentences Body paragraph

IV. Relate the American dream to characters in the novel. 20 sentences

2. Methods of Development: Use description and example for the three-segment body of the paper.

3. Mode of Order: The overall mode of order for this paper is general-to-specific; however, consider what your mode of order is for each segment as well.

4. Mechanics: For a passing grade, review your paper for effective mechanics, with no more than four errors per page. Include two quotes from The Great Gatsby. Use a works cited page, referencing the novel. Consider using quotes to support the examples you are presenting of the American dream.

Notice that it is “the American dream”: lower case “t” and “d.” Only the “A” is capitalized.

Always underline the title of the novel, The Great Gatsby. You need to mention the author and the novel’s title once in the first sentence of the paper, but after that you can refer to him as Fitzgerald and to the novel as the “novel” to avoid repetitiveness. So the first sentence, your thesis sentence, might look like this:

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is a search for the meaning of the American dream in modern society.

5. Transitions: Use “first,” “second,” and “third,” for the three segments (paragraphs) of the body of the paper. Each is followed by a comma. Use “In summary,” and “In conclusion,” in the closing. Each is followed by a comma.

What transitions are you using to communicate your methods of development and your modes of order?

6. Format: Double space the entire paper beginning with your last name and page number in the upper right-hand corner, per MLA; note in the sample papers.

Four-line heading: Remember to put English 101, Paper 1 and your section number at this point. Follow the style from MLA.

So the four-line heading will look like this, with two minor changes that are noted below after the English 101:

Johnny Johnson

Professor Sprague

English 101

4 October 2007 (or whatever the accurate date is)

Use a title that hints at the thesis. Don’t try to write the title until your paper is over, so you can be sure that it hints at what the overall idea of the paper is.

Indenting: Every time you indent, you indicate that a new paragraph is starting. Indents are five spaces. Because this is a five-paragraph essay, you will have five indents.

Formal tone: Eliminate the use of the following: “I,” “me,” “my,” “mine”; “we,” “us,” “our,” “ours”; “you,” “your,” and “yours”). Formal exposition is not about us; it is about the topic that is being developed.

Works Cited: This should be the last numbered page of your paper. Check MLA to see what one looks like. Follow the rules for creating your works cited references from MLA.

Follow the rules for creating your in-text citations from MLA. Use signal phrases following MLA.

Outline. For your outline for Paper 1, copy and paste your thesis statement, the three topic sentences for the three-part body, and the conclusion onto a separate piece of paper at the end of your paper. It should be an unnumbered page because an outline is not part of MLA style. The outline is just for English 101. Use Roman numerals for the five pieces (I-V) of your essay.

Study the Module Evaluation Criteria for additional information about how Paper 1 will be evaluated.

 

 

6.3. Module 6.3: Outlining
 
 
 

This Module Section has two parts.

First, there is a sample guide for a detailed outline that may help you to make sure you have all the components of the paper.

Second, there is a sample guide for the very brief outline that must be turned in with Paper 1.

These presentations demonstrate the elements of the five-paragraph essay that is Paper 1.

A Full Outline would look like this  (First, there is a sample guide for a detailed outline that may help you to make sure you have all the components of the paper.):

I.  (5 sentences)

A. Thesis statement: this is the overall main idea of the essay

B. 3 Organizing Ideas

C. Statement of Significance

II. (5 sentences, 20 sentence body paragraph, 5 sentences)

A. Topic Sentence:

Start this sentence with “First,” and make it be about the American dream in general.

B. First example with description of the American dream in general

C. Second example with description of the American dream in general

D. Third example with description of the American dream in general

E. Closing

III.(5 sentences, 20 sentence body paragraph, 5 sentences)

A. Topic Sentence:

Start this sentence with “Second,” and make it be about the American dream as it relates to the novel.

B. First example with description of the American dream and its relationship to the novel.

C. Second example with description of the American dream and its relationship to the novel.

D. Third example with description of the American dream and its relationship to the novel.

E. Closing

IV.  (5 sentences, 1 20 sentence body paragraph, 5 sentences)

A. Topic Sentence:

Start this sentence with “Third,” and make it be about the American dream and its relationship with three characters in the novel.

B. First example of a character in the novel and his or her relationship with the American dream.

C. Second example of a character in the novel and his or her relationship with the American dream.

D. Third example of a character in the novel and his or her relationship with the American dream.

E. Closing

V. (5 sentences)

A. Summary, using the phrase “In summary,” which should be three sentences long.

B. Conclusion, using the phrase “In conclusion,” which should be a restatement of the thesis in different words.

C. Hint of things to come.

Outline for Paper 1 to Turn in (Second, there is a sample guide for the very brief outline that must be turned in with Paper 1.)

The outline that you need to attach to your paper as the last page (unnumbered because it is not part of MLA) will look like this:

I. Thesis statement copied and pasted from your paper

II. First topic sentence copied and pasted from your paper

III. Second topic sentence copied and pasted from your paper

IV. Third topic sentence copied and pasted from your paper

V. Conclusion copied and pasted from your paper

 

 

6.4. Module 6.4: Checklist
 
 
 

Check List

Make certain that you have included the following issues in your papers: Your last name and the page numbers in the upper right-hand corner.

Double space your paper.

Use no other spacing format.

Include the four-line heading in the upper left-hand corner of the paper, double-spaced below the page number.

Correctly format and write your title, and make sure that it hints at the thesis.

The first sentence of the paper must include the author, the title of the novel, and the thesis statement. The opening paragraph also requires an organizing idea and statement of significance.

Each paragraph of the body of the paper is introduced by the organizational transitions “first,” “second,” and “third.” Each must be followed by a comma.

The length of the three supporting body paragraphs are about 20 sentences each.

The closing paragraph requires that it start with the organizational transition “In summary.” It must be followed by a comma. The summary should be three sentences in length, at least. The closing paragraph must have a conclusion, introduced by the organizational transition “In conclusion,” followed by a comma.

The total length of Paper 1 is five paragraphs.

There should be a very close relationship among the title, the thesis statement, and the conclusion.

Paper 1 turns out to be five paragraphs in length, with the three body paragraphs written with 20 sentences each.  That means that the  body paragraphs will be 20 sentences long, or a total of 60 sentences.  The opening and closing paragraphs will be about five or so sentences in length.

The paper has quotes, with in-text citations and a works cited page.

You will need a citation for everything that you quote.  This will be an individual choice.

For example, someone will want to quote from Democracy in America by De Toqueville.  Someone will quote from Martin Luther King, Jr.  Someone will quote from J. Meachem’s article about the American dream that is found in Modules If you quote or reference them, you will need a signal phrase, a MLA in-text citation, and a reference in the Works Cited page.

Everyone must have at least two quotes from the novel with signal phrases, MLA in-text citation formatting, and a MLA-formatted Works Cited page as the last page of their papers.

Go to Assignments to turn in your paper on time.

 

 

6.5. Module 6.5: Sample Paper
 
Instructions: See this sample paper as an example only. It is not perfect, of course, but it does address most of the E101 formal exposition requirements that are listed in Modules Paper 1, Evaluation Criteria in Modules, and Assignments Paper 1.
 

COMMENTS

What needs to be done here is to use “First,” for the first 5-paragraph segment of Paper 2.  Then use “Second,” for the second 5-paragraph segment.  The second segment of the paper is new and is developed by cause and effect.  It should have three characters and it should describe the effect of the dream on each one.  The first segment, of course, is an edited version of the first paper, Paper 1.  So you will notice that this paper is really just a new version of Paper 1, and it never really devotes three full paragraphs on the effects of dream on characters.

 

Billy Grubstake

Professor Sprague

English 101

February 2009

Gatsby and the Subjective American Dream

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby can be seen as a multi-perspective exploration of he American ream with varying ideas of what that dream can mean. this thesis lacks clarity about the values of the thesis in terms of the American dream and the novel…the novel is about tragedy, but this essay’s topic sentence mistakenly pretends that the tone may be neutral…the novel ends in tragedy, so the thesis statement must communicate that tragedy somehow…The dream that has been labeled uniquely American is a subjective concept, an idea open to interpretation and based on one’s own background and personal aspirations. In The Great Gatsby, the backdrop of early 20th century America serves as an environment for exploring the dream. Further, the individual characters of the novel demonstrate different facets of that ‘dream’.

First, why and how this universal and fluid concept of human striving for potential and contentment became American is up for discussion and perhaps could be rooted in Thomas Jefferson’s famously celebrated words that help make up part of the theme that is the American constitution; that elusive concept of the pursuit of happiness. topic sentence should be simpler THEN follow with discussion…While happiness itself is not, and cannot, be guaranteed, the freedom to pursue it is held as the high ideal for the state to base its own self-creation on. What is happiness anyway? Obviously for some it is more complex than for others. It could be wealth, fame, or social success. It could be a simple life free from unnecessary hardship. It could be owning a home or a business. It could be falling in love and having a secure life partner. It could be going to college, finding spiritual enlightenment, having children, etc. What it means is less relevant than having the freedom to pursue it. What makes America unique is that it is the only country founded on an idea, as opposed to nationality based on geography or ethnicity. The idea is freedom. Individual freedom that is a God given birthright is set to law in the American constitution. Perhaps this is the big reason for the dream having been titled American. Admittedly, it has taken centuries for this to actually manifest itself in a truly credible way. Jefferson himself was a slave owner who wrote of the black man’s inferiority to white men, even while stating the “All men are created equal.” needs a citation…For this to maintain substance, it cannot be applied selectively to only white men. Women and minorities must be included or the foundation is weakened with a double standard and hypocrisy. It took literally centuries of progress, from women’s rights to civil rights and now to our first black president. But even with all this progress, there is still work to do and a perpetual evolution to be had. Perhaps the dream can exist precisely because it is in its very nature to be free to find evolution without a dogmatic ideological barrier of laws that would permanently prevent this American dream, the pursuit of happiness, from growing and finding its home in the heart of American citizens and of those around the world who admire and respect it.

Second, The Great Gatsby explores different dimensions why different as opposed to all negative…again, the topic sentence pretends a neutrality when the writer should acknowledge that this is a discussion of a tragedy…of this American dream. As the story progresses we see how the dream is subverted by those who seem to possess all the elements integral to the dream, not the least of which is material wealth. For most the dream is something that is pursued, but never attained. For those with wealth, the dream’s promise of happiness is squandered and corrupted with greed, vanity and narcissism. The overall essence of the novel is tragic in that the higher ideals of the American dream are subverted by those who, even with all the elements seemingly in place, still thwart their own potential happiness. One could have health, wealth and a loving spouse, but still find discontentment and misery. Perhaps it is truly a matter of perspective in that those whose wealth is inherited, never experienced the pains and trials of poverty and therefore never learned appreciation, which in itself breeds discontentment. It seems the pursuit of the dream can bring more happiness than the attainment. And when finally attained, happiness is still elusive in the absence of healthy relationships. In a counter-intuitive way, this can be viewed as something positive and inspirational in the sense that we can let go of what we think will bring us happiness, (i.e. – material wealth), in light of the knowledge of those whose wealth not only can fail to bring happiness, but often brings it’s own source of misery. It is a classic assessment of the painful realities of capitalism as it relates to the American dream. In the capitalistic culture, competition and domination are valued over more down to earth human virtues. We as humans tend to forget the things that can truly bring happiness and get caught up in the sacrificial culture, where failure to succeed is seen as weakness and those who play the game differently are outcasts. Even the rich segregate themselves in terms of old and new, with the old rich looking down on the new rich as somehow uncultivated and as primitive as the impoverished culture from whence they came. What we see in the novel is how the old rich subvert the dream with their own aristocratic discontentment and show little interest allowing the dream to manifest for those who aren’t already in their bubble like subculture. This is actually a complete 180-degree subversion of the dream in that a major component in the dream should be the reality that anyone can achieve it. As Jefferson wrote, “All men are created equal…” from which one would conclude that for the dream to exist, it becomes contingent on whether the dream is truly and equally available to all, not just the privileged few.

Third, three characters in the novel, Jay Gatsby, Nick Carraway, and Tom Buchanan, each bring a different …it is not about “different,” but about variates on tragic or negative…example of the dissatisfaction that can come from the subversions of the dream. Set in the roaring twenties, the characters interact in the culture of that day, attending parties, speak-easy’s, and getting rich quick. The ideology of capitalism begun to run amuck is the template from which this story takes us in and out of perceptions of the American dream. Our narrator Nick Carraway speaks in retrospect of his perception of Jay Gatsby’s, stating, “What fowl dust float in the wake his dreams” (6). Gatsby serves the point and embodies the contradiction between his own dream and the dream of his society. Gatsby throw huge parties he doesn’t even go to, saying he doesn’t like parties. His own desire for love is independent of his wealth. Perhaps this can suggest that the dream is meant to be more than material wealth, at least for Gatsby. Nick Carraway begins his summer in hopeful and excited optimism only to conclude the season in bitter disillusionment. His experience in high society exposes him to the emptiness that lies at the heart of the corruption. The capitalistic excesses are perverting the dream that at once is the fuel which propels the dream forth in the first place. As he witnesses his cousin’s husband, Tom Buchanan swimming in his blatant and shameless improprieties, the seeds of Nick’s cynicism are sewn. And with Buchanan, the archetypical rich kid and self-serving narcissist displays the ultimate perversion of the dream, rife with racism and aristocratic pompousness. He pays ten dollars for a dog and tells the dog seller to go buy ten more, seemingly annoyed with the very capitalistic ideology that serves his own every whim. In summary, defining the American dream can be an endeavor that is perhaps only fulfilled in accepting plurality. Ultimately, happiness is subjective and a personal responsibility, and with the pursuit of it guaranteed in our American constitution, the soil is fertile for the cultivation of this idea of the American dream. In The Great Gatsbywe see the darker shades and hear a potential death knell rung from the hands of uncontrolled capitalism, and can take away many things, including a warning for our own time. The dream is different for everyone. And the sad reality is that, the American constitution notwithstanding, as Nick Carraway’s father told him, “…all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had” (1). As much as we want to believe in the equality of human beings, ultimately that ideal is ultimately thwarted in favor of self-serving ideologies.

 

Works Cited

Fitzgerald, F. Scott. The Great Gatsby. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1995.

Outline

I. THESIS: F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby can be seen as a multi-perspective exploration of the American dream’with varying ideas of what that dream can mean.

II. First, why and how this universal and fluid concept of human striving for potential and contentment became American is up for discussion and perhaps could be rooted in Thomas Jefferson’s famously celebrated words that help make up part of the theme that is the American constitution; that elusive concept of the pursuit of happiness.

III. Second, The Great Gatsby explores different dimensions of this American dream. As the story progresses see how the dream is subverted by those who seem to possess all the elements integral to the dream, not the least of which is material wealth.

IV. Third, three characters in the novel, Jay Gatsby, Nick Carraway, and Tom Buchanan, each brings a different example of the dissatisfaction that can come from the subversions of the dream.

V. In summary, defining the American dream can be an endeavor that is perhaps only fulfilled in accepting plurality.needs to be the conclusion

 

 

 

6.6. Module 6.6: Sample Paper
 
Instructions: Here is a second sample Paper 1.
 

Chandler 1

Esmeralda Chandler

Professor Sprague

English 101, Paper 1, Section #8044

27 February 2009

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Wealthtitle does not hint at the thesis…

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby brings to light the tragic corruption of the American dream through the pursuit of pleasure and wealth at any cost. The American dream was an idea that started with our founding fathers when they wrote the Declaration of Independence. In the novel, we see how this idea has been twisted into a misshapen version of the original idea through greed and decayed morals. Then, through the eyes of Fitzgerald’s characters, we will gain learn that money cannot buy our dreams, no matter how much of it one might have. We live in different economical times, but it doesn’t take being fabulously wealthy to lose sight of the true meaning of our dreams.

First, the original idea of the American dream was thought to be based on the pursuit of happiness. The phrase “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” outlines every Americans’ idea of success needs an in-text citationOur founding fathers unknowingly conceived the American dream when they wrote the Declaration of Independence. In his book The American Dream: A Short History of an Idea That Shaped a Nation, Jim Cullen explains “These words speak to us. It’s not only that they laid the foundations for sweeping social movements like the struggle to end slavery. . . . These words actually structure the minutiae of everyday existence: where we go to school, who we marry, what we buy”(38). When these words were penned, they were in a document that freed us from another country and made us citizens of our own nation and not immigrants to a new land. These words are what drive immigrants here to find new opportunities. Immigrants come to America with dreams of rising above racial and social boundaries to become wealthy and successful. In the early part of the 20th century, immigrants would come to Ellis Island by the boat loads and stand in lines just for the chance to raise their families free from poverty and political persecution. They came here dreaming of the streets being paved in gold and of opportunities abound for their children. Today, the American dream has been greatly mutated into a power hungry pursuit of money and pleasure. Big business rules the land and the cost of living is so high that we’re forced to dream of having more money to lead a better life. American historian James Truslow Adams once wrote in his book The Epic of America, “But there has also been the American Dream, that dream of a land in which life should be better and richer and fuller for every man, with opportunity for each according to his ability or achievement. It is not a dream of motor cars and high wages merely, but a dream of a social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position”(404). According to Adams, we should all have the chance to achieve what we are capable of, and not just strive for materialistic pursuits. The Epic of America was written in 1931, during a time of economical depression. This may have been a time when many Americans dreamed of having more money to attain happiness. We are once again in an economical depression, and we find ourselves even more obsessed with the quickest way to pursue a dollar. America was the land of opportunity, but ultimately has corrupted the pursuit of happiness with illusions of grandeur. Americans want it all and they want it now. We are no longer willing to work for it; we want it handed to us and expect our dreams to come to us.

Chandler 2

Second, Fitzgerald explores the corruption of the American dream through the lives of various characters obsession with wealth and pleasure. In the novel, we catch a glimpse into the lives of the wealthy, and we see how their riches do not enrich their lives. The rich and beautiful are just as miserable as the poor and downtrodden. The American dream, as seen through Fitzgerald’s eyes, has decayed into materialism and a loss of values. Many of the characters in this novel spend their money on possessions and glamorous parties to bring meaning to their lives. Their lives are empty and lack a purpose. One example of this is Tom and Daisy’s child. Tom and Daisy are main characters in the novel, yet we only hear mention of their child a couple of times throughout the novel. In the first chapter of The Great Gatsby, Daisy reminisces about the birth of her little girl. To portray to the reader how jaded her view of the world has become she relates this quote: “I’m glad it’s a girl. And I hope she’ll be a fool-that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool” (17). It shows that people can have all they think they have ever dreamed, and realize that they would not wish these things on their children. Wealth cannot overcome the corruption of the American dream as portrayed by the separation of old and new money. While Daisy and Tom are example of East Egg residents or “old money”, on the other side of the bay lies West Egg or “new money”. The economy was booming in 1922 and the opportunity to make money was on the rise. The more money people made, the more they spent and the more they expected to come to them. It became an endless cycle of materialism and greed. The new money was good example of this. They had acquired their money through this booming economy, either through the stock market, or possibly more illicit ways such as bootlegging. They tended to be ostentatious with their money, buying the biggest houses and flaunting their money in front of everyone. The old money looked down upon this, seeing the new money as a lower class of being. So even though the West Eggers have achieved their dreams of gaining riches and buying big homes and spending lavish amounts of money, they were still spurned within their social class as being lower class. They were looked down upon by the East Eggers. Yet both sides of the bays, old and new money, expected every opportunity afforded to them through their great wealth. The characters in the novel have come to expect their dreams to come to them. Most working class citizens understand the value of a dollar. They’ve worked hard for that dollar and they will work hard for their dreams. In the novel we are faced with a different breed of American citizen. The upper class American. The old money had everything handed to them, from money to their property to their educations. They do not understand a day’s hard work. Many opportunities open themselves to people with money, especially those who have a name behind that money, and old money has both of those things. The new money came about because of the growth of the economy. They may understand how hard it is to earn something you work for, but money corrupts. They have what they want, and now they want their dreams to come to them. Everybody believes that if you can just be a little wealthier you can have everything you want. You can be free to pursue your dreams. That’s just not true. The pursuit of wealth is not equal to the pursuit of happiness.

Third, the American dream can be related to the characters of the novel in of course different ways but what does that mean…different which then show how to be successful or which then show how a tragic ending happens or…different ways. Jay Gatsby, Jordan Baker and Tom Buchanan are three excellent examples of the relationship between wealth and the corruption of the American dream. Jay Gatsby pursues his dream of re-creating the past in the future. He was poor man from North Dakota who dreamed of being with a girl. He had to leave this girl when he went into the military and when he came back, she was married to a wealthy socialite. He knew he had no chance of ever winning her if he stayed poor, so he pursued wealth through crime. He becomes the newly rich and buys the biggest mansion in West Egg directly across from Daisy’s home in East Egg. He throws lavish parties every weekend just in the hopes of luring Daisy across the bay. He staked everything he ever had on the only dream he ever wanted, a dream that was stuck in the past. Chandler 3 Even after he worked hard to amass his fortune and create an entire new persona for himself, he still failed at his dream. In the end, Gatsby ultimately fails in attaining his dream. Once Daisy learns of Gatsby’s methods of gaining his fortune, she is driven closer to Tom and chooses to stay with Tom in the end. Gatsby dies alone, stuck on a dream of the past that he sees for the future. Jordan Baker pursues her dream of being a successful golf player, through deceit. She is a shallow, dishonest person who really only cares about herself. We learn in chapter three that she lies and she cheats. Nick relates a story about Jordan’s first big golf tournament where “there was a row that nearly reached the newspapers-a suggestion that she had moved her ball from a bad lie in the semi-final round” (57). This is our first glimpse at Jordan’s true personality. She tends to lie to cover anything unsavory about herself. She wants to be a golf champion, and it’s apparent that she will use any means to reach her goals. Tom Buchanan, his dream being realized through football in college, is now a restless person seeking anything to distract him from everyday life. He and his wife move from place to place, never settling down anywhere permanently. Tom constantly picks up new hobbies, such as polo horses, to distract himself from his domestic life. He even goes as far have an affair, and makes no real effort to hide this affair from his wife. how is this relaed to distractng himself?Yet when his lover taunts Tom about his wife, he is quick to strike her out of anger. It seems Tom is frustrated with the life he leads. He finds different ways of occupying himself to help him forget his past. He clings to an old dream which makes him bitter. is any of this Tom’s way of expressing his power?…All three of these characters have the money that seems to be required to realize or dreams, yet all of them ultimately failed at their dreams. Jay Gatsby died with nobody at his side, Daisy having stayed with her husband. Jordan Baker lies her way through life and has to cheat to attain her dream of being a golf champion. Tom Buchanan is not happy with the way his life has turned out, so he turns to arrogance and bullying to achieve his happiness, which he still fails at. Americans may believe that the answer to their dreams is money, but money does not equal happiness. this closing needs its own closing paragraph which is missing here…In summary, the American dream was originally a dream of achieving goals no matter a person social or racial background. According to Fitzgerald, the American dream was corrupted in the 1920’s and turned into a pursuit of wealth and personal pleasure. This can be related to three of the main characters in the novel who even with wealth, they all seem to fail at their dreams in one way or another. In conclusion, the American dream has become a corroded illusion of effortless wealth through sometimes reckless means. If weno personal references as in “we” continue this trend of expecting dreams to fall into laps, America will no longer be the land of opportunity; it will become the land of forgotten dreams.

Chandler 4

Works Cited

Fitzgerald, F. Scott. The Great Gatsby. New York: Scribner, 2004

Cullen, Jim. The American Dream: A Short History of an Idea That Shaped a Nation. New York: Oxford, 2003

Adams, James Truslow. The Epic of America. Boston: Little, Brown & Co., 1931

Outline

I. The American dream is corrupted through the reckless pursuit of wealth and pleasure.

II. The American dream is the opportunity to rise above all boundaries and pursue one’s goals.

III. The Great Gatsby explores the corruption of the American dream through loose morals and material excess.

IV. Three main characters exemplify the gain of wealth and the loss of the American dream.

V. America continues in a downward spiral of greed and expectation.

 

 

6.7. Module 6.7: Sample Thesis Statements for P1
 
Instructions: Here are some sample thesis statements for P1.
 

Do not use “and” in the thesis statement…the main idea of Paper 1.

Samples”

Sample: F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is devotes itself primarily to the failure of the American dream.

Sample: F. Scott Ftizgerald’s The Great Gatsby is about the terrible costs of the American dream.

Sample: F. Scott Ftizgerald’s The Great Gatsby is about the the American dream’s  tragic impact on its major characters.

 

 

 

NOTE: Later, when you are writing your Paper 1–

To start your essay, use the following phrasing:

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby (verb of your choice)…. Make this first sentence of the essay be your thesis statement.

There is discussion in textbooks about where to place your thesis: Should it be the first sentence? Should it be in the middle of the first paragraph or at the end of the first paragraph?

For this class, for the purpose of uniformity and clarity for your reader (me), make your first sentence be your thesis statement.

Consider:

Consider that for Paper 1 you need one main idea.

Consider that “and” puts your thesis in the danger of having two.

Take this thesis for example:

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is about the folly in the American dream

and the dangers of pursuing possessions for purposes of self-gratification.

Thesis statements with two main ideas:

Consider:

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is about the folly in the American dream

and

the dangers of pursuing possessions for purposes of self-gratification.

The thesis is about the dream’s folly

AND

it is about the danger of pleasing oneself.

Which is the main idea?

Is the dream a folly

OR

Is it a danger?

When you reach your closing, is it about folly and danger?

Are the three supporting 20-sentence paragraphs of the body about

BOTH

folly and danger?

Do dangerous things tend to be “lacking good sense”?  If it is about danger more than folly, then focus on danger.  If at some point in the body you want to say that it is foolish, go ahead.  This way with a focus on danger you can describe tone or setting in the second body paragraph and characters in the third body paragraph without concern about tying danger and folly together somehow.

Conversely, if the thesis is about folly and not danger, again you will be able to focus on folly without having to reconcile how folly can be dangerous.  Nevertheless, you can make the point that a factor related to this kind of folly is danger.

As you start to work on your papers, consider a thesis statement that does not use “and” in it so that you are able to focus on a main idea.

 

6.8. Module 6.8: How Will Your Professor Evaluate Your Paper?
 
 
 

How professors will look at the technical aspects of a formal exposition paper:

These criteria come from Modules, Evaluation Criteria.

1. Elements of Organization

I. Opening paragraph: It needs both a thesis statement and an organizing idea. It should end with a statement of significance.

_____Thesis

_____Organizing Idea

_____Statement of Significance

V. Closing paragraph: It needs a summary, a conclusion, and a hint of things to come.

_____Summary

_____Conclusion

_____Hint of Things to Come

II. What is the American dream in general terms (but be prepared to relate your description to the novel)? 20 sentences Body paragraph

_____Does this paragraph have its own 1-3-1 shape?  Is it fully developed?  Is the method of development clear?

III. What is the American dream in The Great Gatsby? 20 sentences Body paragraph

_____Does this paragraph have its own 1-3-1 shape?  Is it fully developed?  Is the method of development clear?

IV. Relate the American dream to characters in the novel. 20 sentences

_____Does this paragraph have its own 1-3-1 shape?  Is it fully developed?  Is the method of development clear?

2. Methods of Development: Use description and example for the three-segment body of the paper.

_____Does each segment/paragraph of the body have ample description with example.  Does each develop some aspect of the thesis and lead to the conclusion?

3. Mode of Order: The overall mode of order for this paper is general-to-specific; however, consider what your mode of order is for each segment as well.

_____Why is the first body paragraph first, the second second, and the third last?  What is the mode of order you are using; is it clear, and does it help to make the paper stay together, cohere?

4. Mechanics: For a passing grade, review your paper for effective mechanics, with no more than four errors per page.

Include two quotes from The Great Gatsby.

Use a works cited page, referencing the novel.

Consider using quotes to support the examples you are presenting of the American dream.

Notice that it is “the American dream”: lower case “t” and “d.” Only the “A” is capitalized.

Always underline the title of the novel, The Great Gatsby. You need to mention the author and the novel’s title once in the first sentence of the paper, but after that you can refer to him as Fitzgerald and to the novel as the “novel” to avoid repetitiveness. So the first sentence, your thesis sentence, might look like this: F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby is a search for the meaning of the American dream in modern society.

_____Is the title of the novel underlined?

_____Does the paper have two quotes at least using MLA in-text citations?

_____Does the paper have a Works Cited page?

_____Overall, has the paper been adequately proofread and edited?

5. Transitions: Use “first,” “second,” and “third,” for the three segments (paragraphs) of the body of the paper. Each is followed by a comma. Use “In summary,” and “In conclusion,” in the closing. Each is followed by a comma.

_____Are the three organizing transitions present and correct?

What transitions are you using to communicate your methods of development and your modes of order?

6. Format: Double space the entire paper beginning with your last name and page number in the upper right-hand corner, per MLA; note in the sample papers.

Four-line heading: Remember to put English 101, Paper 1 and your section number at this point. Follow the style from MLA.

So the four-line heading will look like this, with two minor changes that are noted below after the English 101:

Johnny Johnson

Professor Sprague

English 101

4 October 2007 (or whatever the accurate date is)

Use a title that hints at the thesis. Don’t try to write the title until your paper is over, so you can be sure that it hints at what the overall idea of the paper is.

Indenting: Every time you indent, you indicate that a new paragraph is starting. Indents are five spaces. Because this is a five-paragraph essay, you will have five indents.

Formal tone: Eliminate the use of the following: “I,” “me,” “my,” “mine”; “we,” “us,” “our,” “ours”; “you,” “your,” and “yours”). Formal exposition is not about us; it is about the topic that is being developed.

Works Cited: This should be the last numbered page of your paper. Check MLA to see what one looks like. Follow the rules for creating your works cited references from MLA.

Follow the rules for creating your in-text citations from MLA. Use signal phrases following MLA.

Outline. For your outline for Paper 1, copy and paste your thesis statement, the three topic sentences for the three-part body, and the conclusion onto a separate piece of paper at the end of your paper. It should be an unnumbered page because an outline is not part of MLA style. The outline is just for English 101. Use Roman numerals for the five pieces (I-V) of your essay.

_____Does the paper have a formatted heading?

_____Does the paper have a title?

_____Does the paper have formal tone without personal pronouns?

_____Does the paper have a five-sentence formal outline?

 

Study the Module Evaluation Criteria for additional information about how Paper 1 will be evaluated.

6.9. Module 6.9: Two Sample Papers 1
 
 
 

 

…two sample papers:

 

 

Joseph Blowsky

 

Professor Sprague

English 101, Paper 1, Section #8043

17 September 2012

The Great Gatsby: A Tainted American Dream

F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby portrays the destructive realities of the American dream for its hero and the other characters as well. The American dream is often stated by the idea that success and wealth can be achieved by anyone, given the right opportunity, who is willing to work hard, has determination and hope, as exemplified by the main character, Jay Gatsby. The Great Gatsby shows how one never stops to think of a true American dream that chases the freedom one honestly pursues to achieve goals and rejects the imprisonment one gains through greed and selfishness. The search for happiness in wealth is one factor that lives within a majority of the characters in the novel. However, the novel shows that fulfilling the American dream in a selfish manner can lead to the corruption of the dream.

First, the American dream in general can be realized through hard work and determination. This dream of having a better life started when the Pilgrims arrived in America. The Pilgrims left their motherland due to poverty, religious persecution, and political danger. The hopes of finding a better life for them would be the beginning of the American dream. The pursuit for the dream was also stated in the “Declaration of Independence” second paragraph, “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness”. These powerful words helped end slavery and started movements such as Women’s Rights, which shaped America. The dream is not just achieving material things. In The Epic of America, James Truslow Adams states that “it is a dream of social order in which each man and each woman shall be able to attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable, and be recognized by others for what they are, regardless of the fortuitous circumstances of birth or position” (Adams, 404). The foundation of the American dream is for all to want it and share it. Its idea is not to compare the material goods to one’s neighbor. Being able to rise up from nothing to something big is an American dream come true. During the 1920’s the economy started to grow and anyone with little money can make money grow exponentially mostly through the stock market. It is also the time when the mobsters made a lot of money due to prohibition. America offered a lot of promise in the decade of the 1920s. However, the American dreams have changed throughout time. Nowadays, the most common dream is to own big houses, expensive cars, and youthful looks. For those who are already successful in life, they dream of becoming even more successful in order to fulfill a greater happiness. Some people may learn that the greatest happiness is achieved through the sharing of wealth. The Great Gatsby shows that money cannot always buy happiness.

Second, Fitzgerald’s novel shows three kinds of American dream: a dream that was realized through hard work and determination, a dream that is difficult to achieve, and a dream to stay wealthy. The Great Gatsby shows how the American dream is underappreciated and taken advantage of.  The scene of the novel was in a wealthy neighborhood of New York where residents have surrounded themselves with the American dream through elite parties and extravagant homes. In the West Egg are the nouveau riche who has under-developed taste and little connections to a higher rank. Though they are in a lower rank within the ranking of the West and East Eggs, they are a part of the American dream. They have made it thus far and though they have little connections, they wish to fulfill a higher wealth by becoming acquainted with the social aspect, which is an important factor in achieving the American dream. Similar to their money, they are new to the American dream. In the East Egg, residents have fulfilled the American dream through hard work, along with a series of connections. This American dream allows one to live comfortably without the cares in the world. In Chapter 1, Nick Carraway describes the American dream that is lived by his cousin and her husband. “Why they came east I don’t know. They had spent a year in France, for no particular reason, and then drifted here and there unrestfully wherever people played polo and were rich together” (Fitzgerald, 8). This is an example of the American dream being lived through old money. Old money is money that has been maintained and passed on through several generations. In The Great Gatsby, one who lives effortlessly and comfortably is one who has fulfilled the American dream. However, the American dream of living effortlessly and carelessly is not described in the constitution. While living the American dream in an effortless manner, the novel shows how one can be led astray with a materialistic mind. Towards the end of the novel, Nick Carraway gives the reader a vivid description of the American dream in its most innocent form:

I became aware of the old island here that flowered once for Dutch sailors’ eyes— a fresh, green breast of the new world. Its vanished trees had once pandered in whispers to the last and greatest of all human dreams; for a transitory enchanted moment man must have held his breath in the presence of this continent, compelled into an aesthetic contemplation he neither understood nor desired, face to face for the last time in history with something commensurate to his capacity for wonder. (Fitzgerald, 192)

Some people can live comfortably without strict morality and ethics. Though when people think of money they think of the American dream without considering the corruption.

Third, Fitzgerald introduces a series of characters that are considered to have fulfilled the American dream: NickCarraway, Daisy Buchanan and Jay Gatsby. The novel begins with an introduction to Nick Carraway, a character who has fulfilled the American dream in a careful and precise manner. Carraway’s accomplishments include fighting in the war and attending Yale. Although he is working to fulfill his American dream, he also witnesses the corruption of the American dream in others. Carraway’s cousin, Daisy, lives on the East Egg of the neighborhood and is married to a prestigious man, Tom, who belongs to old money. The marriage is built from the American dream, but has suffered because of arrogance, selfishness, and materialism. In Chapter 4, Fitzgerald tells how love can be blind due to money and wealth. Daisy’s friend, Jordan Baker, explains the story of how the eighteen years old Daisy is in love with officer Gatsby. Daisy denies Gatsby and is blinded by the old money, which Tom Buchanan possesses. However, Tom is committing adultery with Myrtle, a woman who also wishes to fulfill the American dream. They hold onto a marriage surrounded by adultery and regret which causes Daisy to run back into the arms of Gatsby, who intentionally builds a collection of material goods to win her heart back. Gatsby is living the American dream solely for the attention of an old love. Jay Gatsby was determined to reach the American dream because he believed that having wealth would bring him all the happiness he wanted, including Daisy. But money cannot buy one’s happiness. In Chapter 7, Carraway explains the insanity that Gatsby has acquired over the years because of high hopes to fulfill his American dream. “He talked a lot about the past and I gathered that he wanted to recover something, some idea of himself perhaps, that had gone into loving Daisy. His life has been confused and disordered since then, but if he could once return to a certain starting place.” (Fitzgerald, 118). Gatsby is certain that the American dream will fix such issue, however it’s safe to say that love and happiness is omitted from the dream. It is disturbing when Gatsby was killed by Myrtle’s husband in the assumption that Gatsby has been involved in his wife’s affair. Towards the end of the novel, it shows the corruption and death the American dream has caused.

In summary, The Great Gatsby highlights how the American dream has been corrupted due to selfish and material needs. The 1920s was a decade which consisted of easy money and letting loose on prime ideas of morality. When it came to the American dream, the founding fathers focused on three simple things that would ensure a freedom from corruption: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. In conclusion, The Great Gatsby shows how the American dream has changed from the settlers dream to have a better life in America to selfishness and greed. The novel shows the dream in contemporary and compelling form.

 

Work Cited

Adams, James Truslow. The Epic of America . Boston: Little Brown and Company, 1931.

Fitzgerald, Scott. The Great Gatsby New York: Charles Scribner’s Sons, 1925.

Outline

I. Chasing the American dream tainted with wealth and success.

II. The general meaning of the American dream and how it changed through time.

III. Fitzgerald’s novel, The Great Gatsby show different settings of the American dream.

IV. Three characters from the novel in pursuit of the American dream.

V. The American dream once filled with hope by everyone is now full of greed and corruption.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

remember to underline the title of the novel… Student’s Name Professor Sprague English 101 September 2011 Chasing Wealth            F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsbyunderline… revolves around an American dream that is centered on personal material wealth, which ultimately cannot coexist with happiness. This dream that anyone could go from nothing to something grew out of a period of rapid industrialization around the globe, the side effects of which were very often horrific working environments and unbridgeable gaps between the rich and the poor. The Great Gatsby conveys America’s reaction to, and progression of, this problem through the devices of capitalism, opulence, and greed. With the use of specific characters in the novel, Fitzgerald portrays both the desirable material aspect of the American dream in addition to the inability of the attainment of this dream to produce genuine happiness. In a time when millions of American people are struggling to merely get by, The Great Gatsby’s representation of an American dream that brings wealth as well as unhappiness, is extremely important.                       First, 20th century America developed out of a prosperous, yet brutal economic environment brought about by the age of industrialization in the wealthy countries of the world. The 1800s witnessed a vast expansion of the power that countries could hold. With the improvement of technology, the production capability of a nation grew to previously unimaginable heights. However, this improvement in technology which helped lead to an increase in the capital gains of wealthy business owners, came at the expense of the working class as a whole. No where else was this seen more clearly than in mid 19th century England. Writers such as Charles Dickens and John Stuart Mill highlighted the dichotomy between the affluent lifestyle of the business owners and the slum like living conditions of almost everyone else. Elizabeth Gaskell, in Mary Barton, wrote about this very difference. After describing the luxurious lifestyle of the business owners, and the very minor affect that the burning down of one of their factories has on them, she tells of the altogether opposite situation of the workers: “There is another side to this picture. There were homes over which the Carsons’ fire threw a deep, terrible gloom; the homes of those who would fain work, and no man gave unto them—the homes of those to whom leisure was a curse” (95). The description above leaves the reader with the sense of the near impossibility of someone escaping the horrible conditions of the working class. Such citizens lived in mere shacks in large cities such as Manchester and London where the streets were filled with trash and waste. These are the conditions out of which the American dream was born. America was a place where an individual could go to escape the grips of poverty and make something of himself. There was an ideal that the division between the rich and the poor was not set in stone. If a man worked hard enough, he could gain the same wealth and apparent happiness of those who were born with it. No matter what background someone was born into, they could have the goal of reaching the top. That is the essence of the American dream, and that is also the problem with the American dream. Although it created the possibility of better financial circumstances, it did not lay out the instructions for how to live a happy and content life, and therefore, the values of wanting more and more began to take hold of individuals as well as societies.                       Second, Fitzgerald sets The Great Gatsby in one of the most opulent ages of American society. The years just before the Great Depression were a period of incredible consumption. It was the height of American capitalism, and lay at the heart of the American dream. In 1776, almost two centuries before Fitzgerald’s time, Adam Smith published his treatise on the current state of economics in the world entitled the Wealth of Nations. In the essay, Smith states that, “Consumption is the sole end and purpose of all production; and the interest of the producer ought to be attended to, only so far as it may be necessary for promoting that of the consumer” (49). This very idea of consumerism is displayed throughout The Great Gatsby. As Nick observes the preparation that goes into one of Gatsby’s parties, consumerism can almost be seen as a character in and of itself: “Every Friday five crates of oranges and lemons arrived from a fruiter in New York …. There was a machine in the kitchen which could extract the juice of two hundred oranges in half an hour, if a little button was pressed two hundred times by a butler’s thumb” (Fitzgerald, pp. 43-44). The image produced is one that indicates that no expenses were ever spared, even for the most trivial devices. And rather than taking a trivial role in the story itself, material items such as the orange squeezer, cars, lights boats, and food take on a central role in the story. Such items are symbols of status, and thusly, a measurement of an individuals importance in society. Consequently, Fitzgerald’s novel is able to focus the reader’s attention onto one of the unfortunate results of such successful capitalism and its extravagant effects. This consequence is greed. The accomplishment of inserting oneself into the upper echelons of society is not enough anymore. The material wealth that provides a family with a healthy and sufficient subsistence is insufficient. As Adam Smith said, consumption must continue. Therefore, the idea of ‘more’ is planted into the individuals mind, and the ability to reach the original goal of material wealth and happiness becomes impossible.                       Third, the unfulfilling nature of the American dream can be seen throughout the narrative in the characters of Jay Gatsby, Daisy Buchanan, and Myrtle Wilson, each of whom falls victim to the grandeur of the American dream. The opulence and status takes hold of each of their lives until happiness simply becomes an unattainable dream. In Gatsby’s first introduction into the story, he is shrouded by a cloud of mystery and extravagance. No one knows anything concrete about him. At his parties, rumors jump from table to table about who Gatsby is and what means he could possibly have taken in order to gain such a fortune. His image, in terms of wealth, from the outside was about as perfect as one could hope during the time. He was in the top tier of society, his money giving him a great deal of power, and yet, he died alone, unhappy, and without that which he wanted above all else, Daisy. Ultimately, when Nick is able to discover the truth about Gatsby’s life, it seems to be a life of constant insecurity and permanent dissatisfaction with the life he has. As a teen, while working as a clam digger along the shore of Lake Superior, Nick describes how James Gatz’s mind would run wild at night, “The most grotesque and fantastic conceits haunted him in his bed at night. A universe of ineffable gaudiness spun itself out in his brain while the clock ticked on the wash-stand and the moon soaked with wet light his tangled clothes upon the floor” (105). He was taken by dreams of ‘ineffable gaudiness’. If only he could attain this material wealth, he would be happy. As it turned out, though, the happiness begot by the material wealth he did gain was only ephemeral. Till the day he died, he was driven by what he could not have. The subject of Gatsby’s ultimate desires, Daisy Buchanan, reveals to the reader a similar, yet separate drawback to the American dream. In her youth, Daisy had fallen madly in love with Gatsby, but Gatsby was poor and he knew that Daisy could not take him because of this. In his absence, she married Tom Buchanan, a successful businessman from a wealthy family. Living with her husband Tom in East Egg Village, she lived an affluent and comfortable life. As far as American capitalism and the American dream are concerned, it was an ideal arrangement. But that is exactly what it was, an arrangement, built and maintained without love or happiness. Tom Buchanan has an affair with Myrtle Wilson, a situation which Daisy is fully aware of, though she does not know who exactly the mistress is. When Gatsby reintroduces himself into her life, she jumps into his dream and for a moment it seems that that they can live happily together without a second thought. But when a confrontation inevitably arises between Gatsby, Tom, and Daisy, everyone is violently brought back to reality. Daisy learns of Gatsby’s dishonest means of making his fortune and reverts back to the safety of her arrangement with Tom. Finally, Myrtle Wilson’s brief appearances as Tom Buchanan’s mistress, are possibly the most telling situations with regard to the greed-obsessed characteristic of the American dream. When Nick meets her for the first time, she engages in a conversation in which she describes her thoughts on her husband, ‘“The only crazy I was was when I married him. I knew right away I made a mistake. He borrowed somebody’s best suit to get married in and never even told me about it, and the man came after it one day when he was out’” (39). Her husband, George Wilson, is a kind, soft-spoken gentleman, who owns a car repair shop, but he does not have extravagant wealth and he does not have status. Myrtle sees him as below her; he couldn’t even afford his own suit for their wedding. She is appalled and offended at this frugality. To be associated with someone as low and base as George Wilson is simply unacceptable. The image of wealth is more important than happiness and quality of character. All of these characters’ lives come to an interconnected and tragic conclusion in which no one is left content, and those who are still alive, are left wanting.                        In summary, the American dream represented the idea that an individual, through hard work and perseverance, could escape the grips of poverty and create a life for himself and his family. The Great Gatsby’s numerous images of material wealth and luxury display the often unsatisfying results of such material pursuits. Jay Gatsby, Daisy Buchanan, and Myrtle Wilson each represent an aspect of the lack of fulfillment that the American dream can bring. In conclusion, Fitzgerald’s novel portrays an American dream that, through its unilateral pursuit of wealth and status, leaves its pursuers in want of true happiness and loving companionship. While achieving greater equality in America is a goal worth pursuing, this search for equality cannot become overwhelmed by greed and an uncontrollable desire for dollar bills and reputations, for these ends are the antitheses to real equality and success.    needs Works Cited…see samples in Modules for format for this page Fitzgerald, F. Scott. The Great Gatsby. New York: Scribner, 2003.   Gaskell, Elizabeth. Mary Barton: A Tale of Manchester Life. London: Penguin, 1998.   Smith, Adam. An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations. Edwin Cannan,             ed. 1904. Library of Economics and Liberty. 26 September 2011.

6. Paper 1 Preparation
6.10. Module 6.10: Using Description and Example
 
Instructions: Review this information to give you a sense of using description as a method of development.

 

Writing a Narrative composition appeals to one of humankind’s basic instincts, the impulse to share stories. Sometimes the aim of the story-teller is simply to entertain, to provide a moment of escape from the business of the day or the horrors of the night, but sometimes the aim of the story-teller is to instruct, to help others in their understanding of something. The best part of teaching in this way is that our listeners’ natural resistance to heeding the words of others is low and they are not always aware that they are being taught anything until it’s too late – we’ve got them.

The skills needed to narrate a story well are not entirely the same as the skills needed to write a good essay. Some wonderful short fiction writers are not particularly good essayists and vice versa. Still, it is useful to look at those elements that make up a good narrative and know how to apply what we learn toward making our essays as dramatic as possible whenever that is appropriate.

Review, also, the elements of the Personal Essay , as the personal essay and the narrative essay have much in common.

 

Descriptive Elements

The ability to describe something convincingly will serve a writer well in any kind of essay situation. The most important thing to remember is that your job as writer is to show, not tell. If you say that the tree is beautiful, your readers are put on the defensive: “Wait a minute,” they think. “We’ll be the judge of that! Show us a beautiful tree and we’ll believe.” Do not rely, then, on adjectives that attempt to characterize a thing’s attributes. Lovely, exciting, interesting – these are all useful adjectives in casual speech or when we’re pointing to something that is lovely, etc., but in careful writing they don’t do much for us; in fact, they sound hollow.

Let nouns and verbs do the work of description for you. With nouns, your readers will see; with verbs, they will feel. In the following paragraph, taken from George Orwell’s famous anti-imperialist essay, “Shooting an Elephant,” see how the act of shooting the elephant delivers immense emotional impact. What adjectives would you expect to find in a paragraph about an elephant? big? grey? loud? enormous? Do you find them here? Watch the verbs, instead. Notice, too, another truth about description: when time is fleeting, slow down the prose. See how long the few seconds of the shooting can take in this paragraph. You can read the entire text of George Orwell’s story by clicking HERE , and you can read additional essays by this famous author of Animal Farm and Nineteen Eighty Four at “The Political Writings of George Orwell.”

 

When I pulled the trigger I did not hear the bang or feel the kick–one never does when a shot goes home–but I heard the devilish roar of glee that went up from the crowd. In that instant, in too short a time, one would have thought, even for the bullet to get there, a mysterious, terrible change had come over the elephant. He neither stirred nor fell, but every line of his body had altered. He looked suddenly stricken, shrunken, immensely old, as though the frightful impact of the bullet had paralysed him without knocking him down. At last, after what seemed a long time–it might have been five seconds, I dare say–he sagged flabbily to his knees. His mouth slobbered. An enormous senility seemed to have settled upon him. One could have imagined him thousands of years old. I fired again into the same spot. At the second shot he did not collapse but climbed with desperate slowness to his feet and stood weakly upright, with legs sagging and head drooping. I fired a third time. That was the shot that did for him. You could see the agony of it jolt his whole body and knock the last remnant of strength from his legs. But in falling he seemed for a moment to rise, for as his hind legs collapsed beneath him he seemed to tower upward like a huge rock toppling, his trunk reaching skyward like a tree. He trumpeted, for the first and only time. And then down he came, his belly towards me, with a crash that seemed to shake the ground even where I lay.

 

Do not forget that the business of the essay is to make a point. In his essay, Orwell succeeds in portraying the horrors of an imperialist state, showing how the relationship between the oppressed Burmese and the British oppressor is dehumanizing to both. When writing a narrative, it is easy to get caught up in the telling of the story and forget that, eventually, our reader is going to ask So What? — and there had better be an answer.

 

 

Read Jeffrey Tayler’s “The Sacred Grove of Oshogbo” (first published in The Atlantic Monthly, used with permission) and try to determine exactly at what passage in the text do you become aware of the point of Tayler’s essay. Take note of the rich detailing of the forest, the caretaker, and the minister from the city and try to describe how the details lend themselves toward the purpose of the article. Another Atlantic essay, Jeff Biggers’ “Searching for El Chapareke,” — filled with wonderful details of a remote town in Mexico — is also available here.

The Sacred Grove of Oshogbo

May 26, 1999

The driver steered his moped down the corrugated red mud road outside of the Nigerian town of Oshogbo, north of Lagos, with me bouncing along on the back seat. In front of a wooden gate he wobbled to a halt. The surrounding rain forest was dripping with humidity; wraiths of mist wandered between the big trees. I got off, paid him, and entered.

The Sacred Grove of Oshogbo was one place I had been looking forward to visiting in Nigeria. As prevalent as indigenous religions still are in West Africa, it is often hard to find public expressions of them in towns and cities; the Christianity brought by European slavers and colonialists has taken root and pushed most of these religions out of mainstream life. But in the Sacred Grove shrines honor all the local deities, including Obatala, the god of creation, Ogun, the god of iron, and Oshun, the goddess of water, whose aqueous essence is made manifest by the river running through the trees. The place is unique in the Yoruba religion, and that intrigued me.

As I passed through the gates I heard a squeaky voice. A diminutive middle-aged man came out from behind the trees — the caretaker. He worked a toothbrush-sized stick around in his mouth, digging into the crevices between algae’d stubs of teeth. He was barefoot; he wore a blue batik shirt known as a buba, baggy purple trousers, and an embroidered skullcap. I asked him if he would show me around the shrine. Motioning me to follow, he spat out the results of his stick work and set off down the trail.

We stopped in front of a many-headed statue. “Ako Alumawewe,” he blurted out, sucking on the stick. A deity? I asked. He nodded and spat, then headed down the trail to another stone effigy, that of Egbe. After kissing the ground at its base, he held forth at length in mellifluous Yoruba. Since I spoke no Yoruba and he, it turned out, no English, it became clear that my visit wasn’t going to be as edifying as I had hoped.

“Hello!”

I looked back up the trail. A Nigerian man in penny loafers was making his way gingerly around the puddles and heading our way. He was young but a belly was already spreading under his white Izod shirt; he wore tight beige highwater trousers. It was clear that he was living a life of relative plenty. He introduced himself as Pastor Paul, from a church in Benue State.

“You come to look at the Grove?” he asked, shaking my hand. “Good. It’s very touristic.”

A young woman emerged from the trail. Her wardrobe, too, could have been bought on sale at JC Penney’s, but unlike Pastor Paul, she was fit, with fresh eyes.

“My interpreter,” Pastor Paul said, pointing to her. “Of course I can’t understand these people. We have our own language in Benue State.”

The little man talked up a storm in Yoruba, but the interpreter said nothing. Our guide then led us down to the river. The water ran bright green between the trees; monkeys jumped around the canopy above. Arising from a mess of roots was Oshun’s statue, which occasioned a monologue from the little man.

“What is he saying?” I asked the translator.

“He says locals bring sacrifices to the gods here. Maize, moi-moi, cola nuts.”

Father Paul shook his head, his brow wrinkling, his lips pursing. There were no locals about, I noticed. Where were they? Dodging oversized ferns, our guide hopped down the trail, and we followed him.

“Debel! Debel!” he said, pointing with disdain at a pug-nosed bust with an evil smirk standing amid a tangle of roots. The Devil.

The pastor’s face retained its pinched expression. “Of course, this man is ignorant,” he said to me, waving his arm in dismissal. I said nothing.

Up at a promontory above the river we found Olu Igbo — the lord of the forest. Placing his stick in his back pocket, the little man fell silent and bowed. It was indeed an awesome sight — a giant stone effigy standing among great trees, with huge eyes and long arms spread out like wings. Hoots and warbles percolated in from the foliage; rain began to fall but its drops, intercepted by the manifold layers of leaves above, hardly touched us.

The pastor harrumphed. “I tell my people in church to abandon these beliefs for God.” His voice rang loud in the amphitheater of great trees. “Such ignorance. Our American pastors have a lot to say about how ignorant we are. We are trying to change, but these beliefs persist. Life is hard in our country. The people want to insure themselves, so they worship God and these idols. But it’s ignorance. Don’t you agree?”

“Why did you come here then?” I asked him as we walked back to the road.

“To see the skilled work of our artisans.”

That was as good an answer as any. At the gate we tipped the guide and parted ways.

Jeffrey Tayler is a freelance writer and traveler based in Moscow, and is the author ofSiberian Dawn (1999). He contributes regularly to The Atlantic Monthly and files frequent dispatches for Atlantic Abroad. This essay was first published in The Atlantic Monthly and then, online, in the “Atlantic Abroad” section of the Atlantic’s Website, at http://www.theatlantic.com/unbound/abroad/jt990526.htm . It is used here with the kind permission of the editors of The Atlantic Monthly. At Atlantic’s Web site, you can also find hyperlinks to several other fine examples of descriptive writing.

Read Mark Twain’s little piece (below) about the troubles he has with his new watch, as another example of narrative writing. (There is very little in the way of paragraphing in this narrative, and as you read along you might want to think about how you would break this piece into smaller units of thought for your reader.) Answer the questions we pose after Twain’s essay and apply them as well to Jeffrey Tayler’s essay above.

MY WATCH: An Instructive Little Tale by MARK TWAIN

[From “Sketches New and Old”, Copyright 1903, Samuel Clemens. This text is placed in the Public Domain (Jun 1993, #16).] (Written about 1870.)

My beautiful new watch had run eighteen months without losing or gaining, and without breaking any part of its machinery or stopping. I had come to believe it infallible in its judgments about the time of day, and to consider its constitution and its anatomy imperishable. But at last, one night, I let it run down. I grieved about it as if it were a recognized messenger and forerunner of calamity. But by and by I cheered up, set the watch by guess, and commanded my bodings and superstitions to depart. Next day I stepped into the chief jeweler’s to set it by the exact time, and the head of the establishment took it out of my hand and proceeded to set it for me. Then he said, “She is four minutes slow – regulator wants pushing up.” I tried to stop him – tried to make him understand that the watch kept perfect time. But no; all this human cabbage could see was that the watch was four minutes slow, and the regulator MUST be pushed up a little; and so, while I danced around him in anguish, and implored him to let the watch alone, he calmly and cruelly did the shameful deed. My watch began to gain. It gained faster and faster day by day. Within the week it sickened to a raging fever, and its pulse went up to a hundred and fifty in the shade. At the end of two months it had left all the timepieces of the town far in the rear, and was a fraction over thirteen days ahead of the almanac. It was away into November enjoying the snow, while the October leaves were still turning. It hurried up house rent, bills payable, and such things, in such a ruinous way that I could not abide it. I took it to the watchmaker to be regulated. He asked me if I had ever had it repaired. I said no, it had never needed any repairing. He looked a look of vicious happiness and eagerly pried the watch open, and then put a small dice box into his eye and peered into its machinery. He said it wanted cleaning and oiling, besides regulating – come in a week. After being cleaned and oiled, and regulated, my watch slowed down to that degree that it ticked like a tolling bell. I began to be left by trains, I failed all appointments, I got to missing my dinner; my watch strung out three days’ grace to four and let me go to protest; I gradually drifted back into yesterday, then day before, then into last week, and by and by the comprehension came upon me that all solitary and alone I was lingering along in week before last, and the world was out of sight. I seemed to detect in myself a sort of sneaking fellow-feeling for the mummy in the museum, and desire to swap news with him. I went to a watch maker again. He took the watch all to pieces while I waited, and then said the barrel was “swelled.” He said he could reduce it in three days. After this the watch AVERAGED well, but nothing more. For half a day it would go like the very mischief, and keep up such a barking and wheezing and whooping and sneezing and snorting, that I could not hear myself think for the disturbance; and as long as it held out there was not a watch in the land that stood any chance against it. But the rest of the day it would keep on slowing down and fooling along until all the clocks it had left behind caught up again. So at last, at the end of twenty-four hours, it would trot up to the judges’ stand all right and just in time. It would show a fair and square average, and no man could say it had done more or less than its duty. But a correct average is only a mild virtue in a watch, and I took this instrument to another watchmaker. He said the kingbolt was broken. I said I was glad it was nothing more serious. To tell the plain truth, I had no idea what the kingbolt was, but I did not choose to appear ignorant to a stranger. He repaired the kingbolt, but what the watch gained in one way it lost in another. It would run awhile and then stop awhile, and then run awhile again, and so on, using its own discretion about the intervals. And every time it went off it kicked back like a musket. I padded my breast for a few days, but finally took the watch to another watchmaker. He picked it all to pieces, and turned the ruin over and over under his glass; and then he said there appeared to be something the matter with the hair- trigger. He fixed it, and gave it a fresh start. It did well now, except that always at ten minutes to ten the hands would shut together like a pair of scissors, and from that time forth they would travel together. The oldest man in the world could not make head or tail of the time of day by such a watch, and so I went again to have the thing repaired. This person said that the crystal had got bent, and that the mainspring was not straight. He also remarked that part of the works needed half- soling. He made these things all right, and then my timepiece performed unexceptionably, save that now and then, after working along quietly for nearly eight hours, everything inside would let go all of a sudden and begin to buzz like a bee, and the hands would straightway begin to spin round and round so fast that their individuality was lost completely, and they simply seemed a delicate spider’s web over the face of the watch. She would reel off the next twenty-four hours in six or seven minutes, and then stop with a bang. I went with a heavy heart to one more watchmaker, and looked on while he took her to pieces. Then I prepared to cross-question him rigidly, for this thing was getting serious. The watch had cost two hundred dollars originally, and I seemed to have paid out two or three thousand for repairs. While I waited and looked on I presently recognized in this watchmaker an old acquaintance – a steamboat engineer of other days, and not a good engineer, either. He examined all the parts carefully, just as the other watchmakers had done, and then delivered his verdict with the same confidence of manner.

He said: “She makes too much steam – you want to hang the monkey-wrench on the safety-valve!”

I brained him on the spot, and had him buried at my own expense.

My uncle William (now deceased, alas!) used to say that a good horse was a good horse until it had run away once, and that a good watch was a good watch until the repairers got a chance at it. And he used to wonder what became of all the unsuccessful tinkers, and gunsmiths, and shoemakers, and engineers, and blacksmiths; but nobody could ever tell him.

END

· A sense of immediacy: Although Twain’s narrative is couched in the past tense, we sense that whatever is going on is happening in the very recent past or even now, as we speak. This is especially true as he goes from jeweler to jeweler to get his watch fixed. The appalling movement of his watch after each repair feels real to us. Although Twain’s story is couched entirely in the past tense, the past tense does not feel past to us in fiction. In fact, short story writers and novelists call the simple past tense the “fictive present” or “fictional present” because when you’re reading it, you feel as if you’re reading something that is going on – now.

 

· The sense of reality: Although we might sense that Twain exaggerates the erratic movements of his watch and his imagination is often fantastic, we also sense the reality of his condition. There’s the shock of familiarity for you. We have heard automobile mechanics and computer technicians spout technical gibberish to us and been convinced that we had to spend lots of money to have our beloved devices brought back to life. Details, details, details. Showing instead of telling.

 

· Movement: Action is indispensable in a narrative essay, the sense of people and things moving through time and space. Close study of short story writers will pay off in the long run here. The non-intuitive device most of them use is knowing that when you want to describe something that happens very fast, your text and your selection of details and descriptions of action must slow down. It would be instructive to reproduce here comedian Eddie Murphy’s description of his auntie falling down the stairs – something she apparently did repeatedly, predictably, and without injury. Murphy reproduces all the sounds she makes at every step as his aunt bounces down the stairway, calling upon every saint and deity she ever heard of and pronouncing ruin upon the house and its residents. The bit is hilarious and takes probably a minute or more to describe what must have taken, in reality, only a couple of seconds. All of us, to our horror, know that “slow motion” effect as we slide on an icy road; the trick is to recapture that in our text. Practice by describing such an event or describing the details of eating an Oreo cookie or fig newton cookie. Leave nothing out.

 

· In media res: Twain’s narrative jumps right into the telling. A Latin phrase, in media res, means just that, in the middle of things, and describes the technique by which story writers begin their tale in the middle of the action. Here, Twain picks up the story about his situation after something has already happened to get him to this place and time. Then he will harken back to the beginning, the necessary background. It’s an age-old trick to get the reader involved immediately in the action of the story.

 

WebCT Feedback Feedback Form for WebCT Students: Click icon to the left for a form on which you can record your understanding of this material. (Password protected.)

· Quoted language: There is not much in the way of quoted language in Twain’s narrative. Notice, though, how the little bits of conversation with the various jewelers seem to leap off the page – especially at the very end. It’s as if another sense has been called into play, as if you suddenly hear as well as see and read. Using quoted language is something that short-story writers and novelists must master before they get very far in their craft. It can be difficult to create this illusion of the spoken voice, but it’s worth the effort, as nothing can make an essay feel more alive, faster, than to give your reader a bit of voice. It lends texture, dimension, to your essay.

 

· Knowing when to quit: Twain could undoubtedly have gone on and on with this kind of thing, but he was wise to quit when he did. Knowing when to quit is indispensable, but hard to learn. A good rule to live by: if you think your readers would like a little more, write the little bit more and then delete it before you hand over your text to anyone.

EXAMPLE AS A METHOD OF DEVELOPMENT

One of most impressive forms of argument (which is not really an argument at all) is to use examples of whatever it is we’re talking about. It is also one of the most common forms of discourse and we use it constantly, even in the most informal discussions. Ask people what they mean, and they will surely answer with an example, an illustration. The Guide to Grammar and Writing is practically one example after another.

When writing an illustration or example assignment, we will have to decide how many examples will be enough to make our point and then, if we use more than one, in what order should we use them. Do we work up to the most persuasive point or illustration or do we begin with that and then fill in with more details? No one pattern will work all the time, and it’s going to depend on the argument we choose to back up with examples. You’ll also have to decide when to stop. If you’re trying to define what it means to be a good teacher, how many examples of good teaching do you have to give before you make your point? You need enough examples to make a valid point, but not so many that your reader will put down the essay and walk out the door.

Be careful of the Transitions you use to connect your examples. It is too easy simply to number them, but then our essay begins to sound like a mathematical exercise. If it helps to organize your paper, you can number your examples at first and then go back over the paper and provide other transitions (another advantage of word-processing). Get in the habit of providing steps, though, from one piece of the puzzle to another.

Speaking of examples, let’s look at one now, an essay that illustrates the writer’s suspicion that news programs are getting longer and longer and offering less and less actual news. It was written by a student, Geton Hamurd, who gives us permission to use his paper. Brainstorming for this essay is easy, Mr. Hamurd says: sit in front of the television for an hour and take notes, keeping score of the things that are news and the things that aren’t. To be completely fair, Hamurd adds, we should probably do this over the period of a week or on random nights over a month (to make sure that we didn’t catch the news on a bad night), and it would be fun to use a stopwatch to time the ads, too, but we’ll let you do that for your own paper.

What Happened to the News?

When television news started out, back in the 1950s, it occupied less than a thirty-minute slot. Ten or fifteen minutes would be granted to local stations for their news, and then the networks would say all there was to say about national and world news in the remaining fifteen to twenty minutes. There were very few advertisements during the news; it wasn’t regarded as appropriate to sponsor news about floods and fires and political disasters. Life must have been simpler then.

Nowadays many television stations set apart ninety minutes for local news alone, and that’s just for the early evening news show. On March 17, 1998 (St. Patrick’s Day), we watched a local news show in Hartford for one hour, from 5 to 6 p.m., and kept track of what seemed to be really news and what was — well, not news.

First of all, during this one hour of news, there were 35 advertisements. Among other things advertised, there were ads for cars (sometimes competing car companies would follow nose to tailpipe), lots of pharmaceuticals (with dreadful warnings about side-effects), fast-food chains (no warnings about side effects), mutual funds, feminine hygiene products, cheese, utility companies, phone service, shampoos, and deodorants. Most of the ads were fast paced, colorful, slick, and sometimes funny. They seemed to do a lot in their thirty seconds. Graphically, they were the most interesting part of the hour. In addition, there were ten advertisements apparently produced by the television station itself that advertised programs and services of the station — sometimes featuring what was coming up later that evening, sometimes touting the virtues of the station’s news team and weather forecasters.

Besides these self-advertisements, the news program was also littered with eight very brief “teasers” (we’ll call them) announcing that “This is Connecticut’s Newstation” and telling us what will happen “at the top of the hour,” or “on LateLine, tonight at 11.” “Wait’ll you hear this” preceded more than one break for ads. In both half-hour segments of this one-hour news program, there were “Forecast First” moments where the weather forecaster was apparently awakened from a nap to tell us that later on he was going to give us his weather predictions. He told us, right then and there, that it was sunny outside now, but look out for later on tonight! (Details to follow, fifteen minutes later.) Incidentally, the weather forecast itself, when we finally got to it, was exactly the same (with maybe a degree difference) at 6:20 as it had been at 5:50. It could just as well have been videotaped, but it wasn’t. There were also teasers for the sports commentator. He announced at two different times what he was going to tell us about fifteen or twenty minutes later. At least the sports news was different in the two half-hour segments./

Perhaps the most annoying moments in the news hour are the little moments of conviviality and chit-chat between members of the news team, the little asides of mutual congratulation and gratitude and commiseration (with the various victims in the day’s news) that are supposed to make us see how wonderfully human the newscasters are. What must the fifteen-minute, get-it-done-and-get-out newscasters of the 50s think of all this?

Surprisingly, only one portion of the news this evening from 6 to 6:30 repeated exactly what we had already seen during the 5:30 to 6 segment. Billed as a “follow-up,” it was a videotaped redundancy. There were, however, several features that didn’t exactly feel like news. “Covering Connecticut” amounted to several five- or ten-second blurbs on what prominent people had done that day across the state. “People in the News” was mostly about the shenanigans of Hollywood types, about a new film called Primary Colors that seems to mock the White House scandals and about the star of Titanic being upset because some pictures of him, naked, were being published by a magazine. There was the nightly announcement of the winning Lottery Numbers (perhaps this is, indeed, important news for some people!), and two segments about St. Patrick’s Day parties going on in the capital city — lots of people drinking lots of beer. A “Health Beat” segment told us about pheromones and perfumes and “Business Beat” told us something about Kathie Lee Gifford’s sweatshops.

Finally, the news broke and there was a solemn and clearly labeled Editorial Comment, complete with the suggestion that the news station was willing to entertain opposing viewpoints.

Whatever happened to the news? What we need to do now is to take a stopwatch to the news hour and determine how much of the time is spent actually reporting “hard news,” the kind of thing that was put into that fifteen-minute segment during the early days of television news. We’re willing to wager that over a one-hour news show there is considerably less than the fifteen minutes that used to be devoted solely to news. We can’t say that our lives were simpler back then, but apparently we had less time to spend watching nonsense.

 

Points to Ponder:

· Does the writer convince you of anything?

· What structural elements holds this essay together? Try printing the essay and connecting structural elements with circles and lines.

· Do you think the writer goes overboard with his illustrations? If so, can you say what you would leave out?

· The writer insists on a difference between “hard news” and the kind of thing he sees on the news program. Is it clear what the writer means by “hard news”? Would it be more fair if the writer provided us with a good definition of what “news” really is?

· Should the writer do a more scientific or statistical survey of news programs — using a stopwatch, perhaps, watching other channels and sampling the news on several different evenings over a period of weeks or even months?

 

Here is a brief essay developed by means of a series of examples about how language has changed so dramatically in our century. Try to point to that place in the essay where you know what the writers want you to believe and what they want you to do about it.

A CENTURY OF CHANGE — WORDS MODIFIED BY TIME

What a century this has been. A century that took us from horseback to fuel-injected horsepower, from gaslights to sodium-vapor streetlights, from crystal radios to digital television, from compasses to global positioning satellites, from wood stoves to microwave ovens, from Victrolas to DVD players, from poultices to computed tomography.

While those and many more innovations were accompanied by the introduction of new terminology and additional meanings for existing words, technology was not alone responsible for the metamorphosis in meaning of a substantial number of existing words that changed dramatically over the course of the century. Some alternative terms supplanted once-dominant names. Other terms declined in usage and gradually vanished from the common lexicon. In some cases, shorthand reference to specialized terminology eclipsed traditional meanings of certain words.

Language is dynamic, and certainly many of the changes introduced during the 20th century constitute logical progressions in usage. But a disturbingly large quotient of modern terms result from grotesque mutations in meaning—the illegitimate progeny of ignorance and lack of respect for etymology and history.

Just as a person awakening today from a century-long Rip Van Winkle doze would be bewildered by our modern world, we would be confounded if we could somehow travel back in time to the early portion of the 20th century. Consider how confused you’d be to learn that the shop down the street was having a sale on waists, and how people feared consumption. During the early part of the century, “waist” was the term for a blouse or the bodice of a woman’s dress. While today we laud “consumption” as a symbol of affluence and an indicator of a healthy economy, this term connoted anything but health a century ago, when it commonly referred to tuberculosis. Today we gawk at spectacles, but back then that was the term for what we call eyeglasses or, in even more abbreviated fashion, glasses.

Some words have all but disappeared during the past five decades. Few people refer to pants as “trousers” anymore. Ask the clerk in a clothing store to sell you some dungarees and you’ll likely leave empty-handed. Few people, including that clerk, realize that “jean” is really the name for a heavy-duty twilled cotton fabric used in manufacturing dungarees—itself the name of a denim fabric. While people use the verb form of the word “spoon” to indicate a scooping or lifting motion, few remember that word had romantic connotations, referring to caressing or kissing.

As a result of news media habits, social change or politicization, many words were assigned new meanings that suppressed previous denotations. The word “solution” is now widely used in reference to computer software applications. While the word “legacy” has long been used to indicate a financial bequest, or an ideology or tangible property handed down from an ancestor, it is now a term for a large mainframe computer system within which incremental modifications have been made over time. Likewise, computing administrators are fond of calling a computer network an “enterprise”—a term that traditionally means a substantial undertaking or a business organization. Instruction manuals today are labeled “documentation,” and illegal aliens are now called “undocumented immigrants.” Although in its traditional sense the verb “molest” means to disturb, bother or annoy, it is now almost exclusively identified with a specific type of molestation—sexual assault. Once used to designate exuberance or merriment, the term “gay” is now understood exclusively as an indicator of sexual orientation. Although in its literal sense the term “affirmative action” would suggest an activity that is declarative or true, it has been inexorably associated since 1964 with legal mandates to provide equal employment and admissions opportunities for members of minority groups and women. Likewise, derivative programs have all but subsumed the word “diversity,” a term that traditionally refers to difference or distinctiveness. Lacking in the contemporary use of the word is the modifier “racial and ethnic,” which not only would provide clarification, but also would have left the traditional meaning of the word undisturbed.

But such is the nature of contemporary use of language, which is becoming truncated in our pursuit of speed and efficiency. Our speech today is peppered with cryptic appellations: CEO, IPO, EIR, MOU, APR, 401 (k), LLP, UPS, FEDEX, LAX, NBA, NFL, MLB, ALCS, ESPN, SUV, ABS, MSRP, IRS, HMO, PPO, PLO, OPEC, FDIC, NASA, EPA, CD, DVD, MP3, PCS, GPS, RAM, URL, Y2K. Ironically, however, the zeal of our society to abbreviate language through creation of acronyms and short-cut terminology only short-circuits understanding and engenders confusion. The term “CD,” for example, can refer either to a financial investment medium (certificate of deposit) or to a digitized storage medium for sound or data (compact disk). Likewise, subjects of political strife and financial security share another abbreviation, “IRA,” which can refer either to the Irish Republican Army or to an Individual Retirement Account.

This essay, then, is a plea not only for reverence of the language, but also for speed reduction. Spell out the meaning of acronyms on first reference. Include modifiers necessary for understanding. Go slower to increase the efficiency of communication. Rip Van Winkle would thank you.

 

6. Paper 1 Preparation
6.12. Three Assignments for Paper 1
 
 
 

There is a Quiz to take.

 

First, you will write and turn in a one-sentence thesis sentence, which is the main idea of Paper 1.

Second, you will write a five-paragraph paper.

Third, you will complete a reflection or a self-evaluation.

 

6. Paper 1 Preparation
6.13. Methods of Development
 
 
 

 

Pattern

Description

Cue Words

Graphical Organizer/Sample Passages

Description The author describes a topic by listing characteristics, features, and examples

 

for example, char- acteristics are Description with example is the combined method of development for your Paper 1.
Sequence The author lists items or events in numerical or chronological order. first, second, third; next; then; finally; later; in the morning,  
Comparison The author explains how two or more things are alike and/or how they are different. different; in contrast; alike; same as; on the other hand; similarly; as opposed to Comparison and contrast is analysis, the method of development for the third segment of Paper 3.
Cause and Effect The author lists one or more causes and the resulting effect or effects. reasons why; if…then; as a result; therefore; because; as a consequence Cause and effect is analysis, and it is          the assigned method of development for the second segment of P. 2.
Problem and Solution

 

 

 

 

Argumentation: Pro-con-take a position

The author states a problem and lists one or more solutions for the problem. A variation of this pattern is the question- and-answer format in which the author poses a question and then answers it.

 

The author states a position, argues for and then against it.

problem is; dilemma is; puzzle is solved; question… answer

 

 

 

On the other hand; so; therefore; consequently; thus;

 

 

 

 

 

 

Argumentation: Pro-con-take a position is synthesis, the method of development for the fourth segment of P. 4.

Why exposition?

Let’s think about the type of writing that most of us encounter in our daily lives. When you pick up and read a non-fiction book, magazines, or newspaper article, the author uses expository writing to inform you, the reader, about the topic. At school, students are required to submit school exams and research papers as a means for their teachers to grade their progress. Finally, at work, people are required to produce business reports and memorandums to inform their superiors and co-workers about the occurrences that take place at other levels of the company. In addition, oral exposition is primarily observed in oral academic presentations, business talks, and speeches that are delivered to a group of people. As each of these different cases illustrate, expository writing and speech surround us in our everyday lives. The primary intent here will be to help move students closer to mastering the hows, whens, and wheres to select different oral and written expository styles for a variety of real world contexts.  Formal exposition is a variation that requires formal tone, so there are no personal references (such as I and you), no contractions (such as I’m or you’re; can’t or didn’t; weren’t or wasn’t), no references to yourself or to me.

 

Students will greatly benefit from understanding the varying types of oral and writing styles they can use for academic and workplace activities.

6. Paper 1 Preparation
6.14. Getting Started–the Body of Paper 1
 
 
 

The Three 20-sentence Paragraphs of the Body of Paper 1

 

Remember: each time you indent five spaces you are indicating that a new paragraph starts. The three elements of your opening paragraph should be in one paragraph, your first.

The three body paragraphs should be about 20 sentences each.  They are developed by examples with description. They may be longer paragraphs, if necessary.

The opening and closing paragraphs are to be about five sentences each.

First,  in the first 20-sentence paragraph of the body of the paper (II), using examples with descriptions, explain what the American dream is in general terms (but be prepared to relate your description to the novel in the second body paragraph). Note that your mode of order for Paper 1 is General to Specific. You are starting with the general idea of the American dream, but you later in Paper 1 apply it specifically to the novel in general terms and then more specifically to characters in the novel.

Use the word “First,” (use a comma) to start this paragraph (II), which will be the second paragraph of your paper, but the first paragraph of the body of the paper. You will need to do a bit of research to develop the idea of the American dream.  Look at the essays in Modules for information about the American dream.  Feel free to do so.                                                                                                          20 sentences

Second, in the second 20-sentence paragraph (III) of the body of the paper, using description and examples, explain what the American dream is in the novel (more specifically). Refer to the novel’s setting, its plot, the narration, or tone. The setting and in particular its historical setting should be a useful point of reference for looking at ideas about the American dream in the novel.

Use the word “Second,” (use a comma) to start this paragraph (III), which will be the third paragraph of your paper. You will need to reference the novel to develop the ideas of the American dream as they relate to The Great Gatsby. Feel free to do so.                                                                                           20 sentences

Third, in the third 20-sentence paragraph (IV) of the body of the paper relate the American dream to three characters in the novel (even more specifically). Identify three characters who exemplify points you want to make about the American dream and how they relate to the novel. For example, Jay Gatsby himself is an excellent choice, but so is the narrator, Nick Carraway. Minor characters, such as Myrtle Wilson, George Wilson, Tom Buchanan, Daisy Buchanan, and Jordan Baker are also possible choices that would work well.

Use the word “Third,” (use a comma) to start this paragraph (IV), which will be the fourth paragraph of your paper.

You will need to reference the novel to develop the ideas of the American dream as they relate to characters in The Great Gatsby. Feel free to do so.                                                                                    20 sentences

 

 

6. Paper 1 Preparation
6.15. Getting Started–the Closing of Paper 1
 
 
 

Getting Started–the Closing of Paper 1

 

Your last paragraph (V) is the closing, which needs a summary, a conclusion, and a hint of things to come. The summary repeats the three points that you made in the three-part body of the paper. The summary for Paper 1 should be three sentences long.

1.  Your last paragraph must start with the words “In summary,” (after the word summary, there must be a comma). The summary should be a repetition of the organizing ideas, but in different words. An example: In summary, this paper defined the American dream as a part of American culture. It related the dream to the novel’s setting. Finally, it showed how Gatsby, Carraway, and Buchanan exemplify tragic elements of the dream.

2.  Follow your summary with the words “In conclusion,” (again, use a comma after the word conclusion). The conclusion should be a restatement of the thesis statement, but in different words, and slightly more evolved in its concept.

The example of the thesis for this Getting Started three-piece presentation was:

Sample: F. Scott Fitzgerald’s The Great Gatsby devotes itself primarily to the failure of the American dream.

The conclusion might be:

In conclusion, the author’s testing the American dream finds it a powerful myth that is destructive in modern times.

3.  Follow your conclusion with the hint of things to come (some call this a closing, a review of the implications of the issues addressed, or a new insight).

Hint: if you end up writing the opening and closing of the paper at the end of the writing process, after you have written most of the three-segment body of the paper, you would be right on task.

Write the segments of the paper in the order that feels natural to you. Some of us write first things first, but many more of us first write segments of the body. Then the overall idea, the thesis comes to us, and we write it at the moment of insight or inspiration. As you brainstorm, plan, and write, just be aware of where you are in the paper at any moment.

Note: in Modules you will find sample papers from other students. Remember that what you will be reading will sometimes be examples of Paper 4, so the first segment of the body of these papers will look like the short one segment (Paper 1) that you need to write for Paper 1.  Use PM if this is not clear to you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

false

 

false

 

false

 

false

 

false

 

typeEditor

 

false

Phones In School

PAGE

7

Student’s Name

Student’s Name

Professor’s Name

Course

Date

Argumentative Essay on the Use of Mobile Phones in Schools

The use of mobile or cell phones in learning institutions, specifically schools, has elicited debate and bitter arguments, not only in the United States of America, but in the world as a whole. While part of society has supported the use of cell phones in schools, the other part has opposed their use bitterly. Mobile phone manufacturers, such as Apple and Samsung, have targeted students as their main market and thus they have designed various models with lots of features(what features mention it?)in order to attract them. Despite the fact that the use of mobile phones by students in schools can be used positively and constructively in order to enhance their learning, the same technological devices can be utilized negatively, which distracts them and their teachers and in turn disrupts the learning process. For instance, whilst the students can use mobile phones positively by accessing or downloading important academic materials from the worldwide web, the same can also be used to get access towards destructive pornographic(Change the pornographic to something else like distraction: talking to friends all the time- playing games- youtube-twitter-facebook… ) contents from online sources thus destroying students’ morals. There are various reasons as to why mobile phones should not be used by students in schools and other learning institutions through giving tangible evidence. There are various arguments from critics calling for the use of mobile phones in schools by the students( make the thesis more simple if you want to change it its okay. ).

Mobile phones should not be used in schools and other institutions of learning as the students can misuse. Despite the fact that the current mobile phones are well equipped with other additional features like email, Short Messaging Services (SMS), MP3 players, radio, blue tooth, Multimedia Messaging Service (MMS) and cameras, students have tended to misuse them through cyber bullying (Mention more about (harmful/depression / suicide/)) whereby they hurl insults and write vulgarity to harm other students through social platforms like Facebook and twitter. This misuse is bound to happen given the fact that research has indeed indicated that fifty four percent (54%) of young people poses cellphones on each given day (write reference [name,date]). Statistics show that thirty eight percent (38%) of young people have experienced cyber bullying and twenty five percent (25%) of teenagers have been bullied repeatedly through their cell phones (put reference 1 and 2 on the red color down). Sadly, statistics also show that at least half of teenage suicides are related to bullying (reference 3) . Students should not use cell phones in schools due to the fact that they cause considerable distractions during class time. For instance, some student in class may have a loud or funny ringtone that disrupt learning whenever one receives a call or an SMS. This happens because some students forget to switch off their phones and as a result, they make a lot of noise during class time that eventually disrupts the normal learning process. It is a known fact that for any successful or meaningful learning to occur, then the learning environment should be freed from barriers that can hinder effective communication between the teachers and the students (Ahmed, et al 2010). Such barriers include among them noise emanating from people, animals and even mobile phones and it is due to this fact that the use of mobile phones in the school environment by students should never be accepted (Ahmed, et al 2010).

Another reason why mobile phones should never be accepted in schools is the fact that their use has been known to hinder the retention of learnt knowledge by the students (reference). It has been established that some of the students have become addicted to the use of mobile phones to the extent that their rate of knowledge retention is too low because of minds that are preoccupied with social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram (reference). The use of mobile phones by students in schools should be discouraged or banned altogether since their use has been linked or associated with exam cheating thus gaining an unfair advantage over their classmates who have used just and fair means(reference). Students who use these means of cheating eventually contribute to a community that is ill-equipped to face the future since they passed their exams through unjust means and thus the economic status of the places they are employed in rarely grow due to unskilled personnel (Doron, 2013).

Another reason why mobile phones should be banned is the fact that some students pry into the privacy of their fellow classmates through their mobiles (reference 5). The pictures and videos obtained from such incidences are then posted on social sites like Facebook and twitter without their owners’ knowledge and consent causing great harm to them (reference4). The invading of other people’s privacy is socially immoral and thus in order to avoid such instances in the school environment, the school should ban the use of cellular or mobile phones within its premises.

On the other hand, some argue that the use of mobile phones in schools and other learning institutions should be allowed because they aid students in accessing some of the vital academic contents from the Internet in the absence of computers. The use of advanced mobile phones by students in the school enables them to easily locate and gain access to the educational resources from the virtual world thus enhancing their knowledge and academic experience. The banning of mobile phones by the school administration will hinder students from getting relevant academic materials from the Internet since they will be forced to rely on the materials provided in class by their teacher, which are not always readily available. Also, it will force the large number of student to queue for the few available computers that are provided by the school. Therefore the school administrations should allow students to bring and use mobile phones in schools on the condition that such gadgets are constructively used to enhance student learning, performance and eventually success through fair and just means (Daley,et al 2001).

The lack of computers in some schools has shown to causes a negative impact on students, as they are not able to have around the clock access to research materials to conduct any meaningful research from web sources in order to improve their classroom learning. Due to this fact, allowing students to possess mobile phones in schools will enable them the means to access boundless sources of information from the web. Another good use for mobile phones would be the ability to make video clips of their school activities through using their mobile phones to store and play them whenever they need (Finney, et al. 2010). Additionally, the students should be allowed to use mobile phones in schools because, apart from helping them to plan their learning activities, mobile phones also help them to efficiently organize their class work by using electronic academic calendars and planners (Finney, et al. 2010).

Given the fact that a school is normally defined as an institution or place for progressive and systematic education and instruction, then the use of mobile phones should never be allowed at all (reference 6 ). Therefore, the school is a place in which the learners should be capable to learn through the help, supervision and guidance of their teachers without the interference of unregulated and unreliable information. Students also negatively make use of their mobile phones through taking photo shots of their friends while in the bathroom and “sextexting” their classmates (reference 7). This misuse is a clear example of sexual harassment and bullying that should never be allowed or encouraged in any learning institution anywhere in the world. Theft cases in learning institutions have also become rampant due to the fact that most smart mobile phones are expensive and pose as a valuable prize for any thief (reference 8). In order to avoid such cases, it is prudent that the possession and subsequent use of mobile phones by students in schools should be banned altogether. According to some critics, it has been argued that the issue of bullying and exam cheating has escalated and mobile phones cannot be blamed entirely (reference 9). However, it should be noted that research has shown that teenage students are susceptible to addiction and therefore the constant and regular use of cell phones by students to the point of addiction is a grave threat to their academic performance and their lives (Thomas, 1998).

In conclusion(change it to to something else do not write in conclution), Given the compelling evidence and the undeniable negative results regarding the use of mobile phones by students within school grounds, government legislators should support the ban on mobile phones. This is because while the gadgets were meant to aid communication between different people in different circumstances, the students have continued to use them negatively thus bringing lots of harm on each other. The use of mobile phones by students in the schools should therefore never be allowed unless clear rules and policies are put in place to ensure that the gadgets can only be used by students for educational and other constructive purposes while in the school environment. This will greatly reduce the losses arising from the use of mobile phones by the students while in school. In addition, all stakeholders should gather and openly discuss the best uses of mobile phones that can be incorporated into the general school curriculum to ensure that they yield great benefits to the student population and the overall learning experience. Punitive measures should also be put in place to discourage any student found using cell phones in the school environment to cause negative impacts. The use of technology should therefore be used constructively to enhance the learning of the students in the school environment instead of bringing harm and damage through the use of technology.

Works Cited

Daley, Patrick, et al. 50 Debate Prompts for Kids…New York: Scholastic Inc, 2001.

Ahmed, Ahmed, et al. Mobile Information Communication Technologies Adoption in Developing Countries. New York: Idea Group Inc, 2010).

Doron, Assa. The Great Indian Phone Book: How the Cheap Cell Phone Changes Business, Politics, and Daily Life. New York: Harvard University Press, 2013.

Finney, John, et al. Music Education with Digital Technology. Continuum International Publishing Group, 2010.

Thomas, Gary. The Making of the Inclusive School. New York: Routledge, 1998.

1. http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/cyber-bullying-statistics.html

2. http://www.nspcc.org.uk/Inform/resourcesforprofessionals/bullying/bullying_statistics_wda85732.html

3. http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/bullying-and-suicide.html

4. http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/how_it_works/direct_attacks.html

5. http://endofbullying.com/cyberbullying/

6. Makdisi, G. (1980). ‘On the origin and development of the college in Islam and the West’, in Islam and the Medieval West, ed. Khalil I. Semaan, State University of New York Press

7. http://www.unh.edu/ccrc/bullying/factsheet.html

8. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2257536/The-teen-smartphone-mugging-epidemic-Two-thirds-mobile-theft-victims-London-children-young-adults.html

9. Bolton, José, and Stan Graeve. “No Room for Bullies: from the Classroom to Cyberspace.” Boys Town, Neb.: Boys Town, 2005

NOTES:

Make the thesis clear and simple. Show side1 and side2 and shortly (bshakil 3am) describe how u will show that THIS side is better than THAT side.

I put the website for the references please help me to take an “A”. Also, make my side the second side Mention the opposite side after that Mention my side. I need it at least 5 pages. Thank you

I change something on blue and the red is what I need to change.

Entering a Conversation (

Major Writing Project 2

Major Writing Project 2:  Entering a Conversation (4 pages)

Instructions:  Choose one of the sets of essays listed below (Kelly and Gladstone together make up a “set”; Carr and Thompson together make up a “set,” etc.).  Your essay should include summaries of both of the authors’ arguments (“they say”); your argument should point out how the authors agree and disagree; and your argument should include your own response to the issues the two essays raise (“I say”).  The “I say” is your own argument concerning the issues.

  • Make sure you include a naysayer to show possible objections to your own argument, and address the “so what” factor: why does this issue matter?
  • Make sure you use proper formatting (MLA or APA style, double-spaced, Times or Times New Roman font, 12 point, paragraphs indented).
  • Make sure you have a proper heading at the top of the first page (name, etc.)
  • Your paper should be about 4 pages.
  • Plagiarism will not be tolerated.
  • I recommend you take a look at the Grading Guide (below), which explains how I will grade your papers.
  • MWP 2 is due Friday, January 12, by 11:59pm.  Click the link below to submit your paper.

Recommended structure:  For this paper you have four pages to work with and you need to include, in effect, five major parts:

  1. Introduction: includes basic information about authors, a very brief summary of authors’ ideas (a sentence or two), a brief statement of your argument (or thesis statement), and a brief explanation of why your argument matters
  2. Summary of 2 authors, with quotes as evidence
  3. Summary of how they agree/disagree; provide quotes if necessary
  4. Your own opinion and your reasons for your opinion (which includes at least one naysayer); provide quotes as evidence
  5. Conclusion:  includes a return sentence, a restatement of your argument, and a developed explanation of why your argument matters

Note that those are five parts, not paragraphs (exceptions: the introduction and the conclusion are usually one paragraph each).  What could this look like?  Here’s an example:  After the brief introductory paragraph (where you introduce your topic, basic information about your authors with brief summaries of authors’ ideas, a sense of your argument and perhaps why your argument matters), you might have a summary of one author (1 paragraph), then a summary of the second author (1 paragraph).  Then you might have one paragraph that explains how they agree or disagree (though you can already allude to that in the summary paragraphs through phrases like “Unlike Turkle, Wortham asserts that…”).  Note that the paragraph that explains how the two authors agree or disagree is still “they say,” since you’re not yet putting forward your own opinion on the issues.  At that point you’ll have written about 2 pages.  Then you write your own argument (“I say”) in relation to what they say (about a page and a half).  At that point you’ve written about 3.5 pages.  Then you end with one short concluding paragraph, where you wrap it up with a return sentence and again explain why it matters.

Keep in mind: this way of structuring this assignment is only a suggestion; it doesn’t have to be exactly like that.  But hopefully this gives you an idea of what this kind of paper could look like.

Sets

Set 1:

Kevin Kelly, “Better than Human: Why Robots Will – and Must – Take Our Jobs” (299)

Brooke Gladstone and Josh Neufeld, “The Influencing Machines” (330)

Set 2:

Nicholas Carr, “Is Google Making Us Stupid?” (313)

Clive Thompson, “Smarter than You Think:  How Technology Is Changing Our Minds for the Better” (340)

Set 3:

Sherry Turkle, “No Need to Call” (373)

Jenna Wortham, “I Had a Nice Time with You Tonight.  On the App.” (393)

Set 4:

Michaela Cullington, “Does Texting Affect Writing?” (361)

Malcolm Gladwell, “Small Change: Why the Revolution Will Not Be Tweeted” (399)

Grading Guide: I will use the following grading guide to grade your papers.  Think of it as a “cheat sheet,” but without the “cheating” part.  It’ll help you figure out how to get a good grade on MWP 2.

Introduction (10 points)

Includes basic information about the authors as well as the full titles of essays; includes a brief summary statement about essays; includes a clear thesis statement (summary of “I say” in relation to “They Say”).

“They say” inhabits world-view of each author (20 points)

Each summary does not agree or disagree with author (summary inhabits worldview of author); each summary uses sophisticated signal verbs to summarize author’s points; no listing of author’s points or “closest cliché” (pp. 31, 35, 33)

Quoting: Uses quotes correctly and appropriately (20 points)

Quotes used to present “proof of evidence” (p. 42) in summary of authors’ arguments — Quotes should not be “orphans” (p. 43) — Quotes should be framed appropriately (“quotation sandwich”) (p. 46) — Quotes should be Introduced with appropriate verb (p. 47) – Indicates page number of quote (p. 48)

“I say” clearly agrees, disagrees, or combination of agrees and disagrees (20 points)

Clear “I say” statement in introduction, placed in relation to authors – Clear statements of agreement, disagreement, or both (use at least one template per author on pp. 60, 62, 64-66) – Clearly distinguishes “they say” from “I say” – Clearly signals who is saying what: Uses at least one template from pp. 72-75 – “I say” includes clear reasons for argument that are not simply summaries of authors’ arguments – Clearly plants naysayer to support “I say” argument (use at least one template from pp. 82, 83,84-85, 89).

Clearly states why the argument matters (10 points)

Uses at least one “who cares?” template from pp. 95-96; Uses at least one “so what?” template from pp. 98-99, 101 — statement why argument matters should be included in either introductory paragraph or concluding paragraph (or both)

Conclusion (10 points)

Includes at least one “return sentence” in the conclusion to remind reader of what “they say” (p. 27); includes a restatement of thesis or “I say”

Editing and tone (10 points)

No editing errors (spelling, grammar, punctuation, and formatting); Uses proper tone (formal where appropriate, informal where appropriate)

hat they’re saying about “they say / i say”

“The best book that’s happened to teaching composition— ever!” —Karen Gaffney, Raritan Valley Community College

“A brilliant book. . . . It’s like a membership card in the aca- demic club.” —Eileen Seifert, DePaul University

“This book demystifies rhetorical moves, tricks of the trade that many students are unsure about. It’s reasonable, helpful, nicely written . . . and hey, it’s true. I would have found it immensely helpful myself in high school and college.”

—Mike Rose, University of California, Los Angeles

“The argument of this book is important—that there are ‘moves’ to academic writing . . . and that knowledge of them can be generative. The template format is a good way to teach and demystify the moves that matter. I like this book a lot.”

—David Bartholomae, University of Pittsburgh

“A beautifully lucid way to approach argument—different from any rhetoric I’ve ever seen.”

—Anne-Marie Thomas, Austin Community College, Riverside

“Students need to walk a fine line between their work and that of others, and this book helps them walk that line, providing specific methods and techniques for introducing, explaining, and integrating other voices with their own ideas.”

—Libby Miles, University of Rhode Island

“‘They Say’ with Readings is different from other rhetorics and readers in that it really engages students in the act of writing throughout the book. It’s less a ‘here’s how’ book and more of a ‘do this with me’ kind of book.”

—Kelly Ritter, University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd i 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

“It offers students the formulas we, as academic writers, all carry in our heads.” —Karen Gardiner, University of Alabama

“Many students say that it is the first book they’ve found that actually helps them with writing in all disciplines.”

—Laura Sonderman, Marshall University

“As a WPA, I’m constantly thinking about how I can help instructors teach their students to make specific rhetorical moves on the page. This book offers a powerful way of teach- ing students to do just that.” —Joseph Bizup, Boston University

“The best tribute to ‘They Say / I Say’ I’ve heard is this, from a student: ‘This is one book I’m not selling back to the bookstore.’ Nods all around the room. The students love this book.”

—Christine Ross, Quinnipiac University

“What effect has ‘They Say’ had on my students’ writing? They are finally entering the Burkian Parlor of the university. This book uncovers the rhetorical conventions that transcend dis- ciplinary boundaries, so that even freshmen, newcomers to the academy, are immediately able to join in the conversation.”

—Margaret Weaver, Missouri State University

“It’s the anti-composition text: Fun, creative, humorous, bril- liant, effective.”

—Perry Cumbie, Durham Technical Community College

“Loved by students, reasonable priced, manageable size, readable.” —Roxanne Munch, Joliet Junior College

“This book explains in clear detail what skilled writers take for granted.” —John Hyman, American University

“The ability to engage with the thoughts of others is one of the most important skills taught in any college-level writing course, and this book does as good a job teaching that skill as any text I have ever encountered.” —William Smith, Weatherford College

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd ii 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

T H I R D E D I T I O N

“THEY SAY I SAY” The Move s Tha t Ma t t e r

i n Academ i c Wr i t i n g

WITH READINGS

H

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd iii 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd iv 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

T H I R D E D I T I O N

“THEY SAY !I SAY” The Move s Tha t Ma t t e r

i n Academ i c Wr i t i n g

WITH READINGS

H GERALD GRAFF

CATHY BIRKENSTEIN both of the University of Illinois at Chicago

RUSSEL DURST University of Cincinnatti

B w . w . n o r t o n & c o m p a n y

n e w y o r k | l o n d o n

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd v 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

W. W. Norton & Company has been independent since its founding in 1923, when William Warder Norton and Mary D. Herter Norton first published lectures delivered at the People’s Institute, the adult education division of New York City’s Cooper Union. The firm soon expanded its program beyond the Institute, publishing books by celebrated academics from America and abroad. By mid-century, the two major pillars of Norton’s publishing program—trade books and college texts—were firmly established. In the 1950s, the Norton family transferred control of the company to its employees, and today—with a staff of four hundred and a comparable number of trade, college, and professional titles published each year—W. W. Norton & Company stands as the largest and oldest publishing house owned wholly by its employees.

Copyright © 2017, 2015, 2014, 2012, 2010, 2009, 2006 by W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.

All rights reserved Printed in the United States of America

Permission to use copyrighted material is included in the credits section of this book, which begins on page 747.

The Library of Congress has cataloged an earlier edition as follows: Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Graff, Gerald, author. “They say/I say”: the moves that matter in academic writing, with readings / Gerald Graff, University of Illinois at Chicago ; Cathy Birkenstein, University of Illinois at Chicago ; Russel Durst, University of Cincinnati.—Third Edition. p. cm Previous edition: 3rd. ed. 2014. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-0-393-93751-0 (pbk.) 1. English language—Rhetoric—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 2. Persuasion (Rhetoric)—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 3. Report writing—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 4. Academic writing—Handbooks, manuals, etc. 5. College readers. I. Birkenstein, Cathy, editor. II. Durst, Russel K., 1954- editor. III. Title. PE1431.G73 2014 808′.042—dc23 2014033777

This edition: ISBN 978-0-393-61744-3

W. W. Norton & Company, Inc., 500 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10110 wwnorton.com

W. W. Norton & Company Ltd., 15 Carlisle Street, London W1D 3BS 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0

01_GRA_61744_FM_i_xxx.indd vi01_GRA_61744_FM_i_xxx.indd vi 24/09/16 4:30 PM24/09/16 4:30 PM

 

 

To the great rhetorician Wayne Booth, who cared deeply

about the democratic art of listening closely to what others say.

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd vii 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd viii 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

i x

contents

preface to the third edition xi i i

preface: Demystifying Academic Conversation xviii

introduction: Entering the Conversation 1

PART 1. “THEY SAY” 1 “they say”: Starting with What Others Are Saying 19

2 “her point is”: The Art of Summarizing 30

3 “as he himself puts it”: The Art of Quoting 42

PART 2. “ I SAY”

4 “yes / no / okay, but”: Three Ways to Respond 55

5 “and yet”: Distinguishing What You Say from What They Say 68

6 “skeptics may object”: Planting a Naysayer in Your Text 78

7 “so what? who cares?”: Saying Why It Matters 92

PART 3. TYING IT ALL TOGETHER

8 “as a result”: Connecting the Parts 105

9 “a in’t so / is not”: Academic Writing Doesn’t Always Mean Setting Aside Your Own Voice 121

10 “but don’t get me wrong”: The Art of Metacommentary 129

11 “he says contends”: Using the Templates to Revise 139

PART 4 . IN SPECIFIC ACADEMIC CONTEXTS

12 “i take your point”: Entering Class Discussions 163

13 “imho”: Is Digital Communication Good or Bad—or Both? 167

14 “what’s motivating this writer?”: Reading for the Conversation 173

15 “analyze this”: Writing in the Social Sciences 184

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd ix 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

x

readings

16 IS COLLEGE THE BEST OPTION? 205

stephanie owen and isabel sawhill, Should Everyone Go to College? 208

sanford j. ungar, The New Liberal Arts 226

charles murray, Are Too Many People Going to College? 234

liz addison, Two Years Are Better than Four 255

freeman hrabowski, Colleges Prepare People for Life 259

gerald graff, Hidden Intellectualism 264

mike rose, Blue-Collar Brilliance 272

michelle obama, Bowie State University Commencement Speech 285

17 ARE WE IN A RACE AGAINST THE MACHINE? 297

Kevin kelly, Better than Human: Why Robots Will—and Must—Take Our Jobs 299

nicholas carr, Is Google Making Us Stupid? 313

brooke gladstone and josh neufeld, The Influencing Machines 330

clive thompson, Smarter than You Think: How Technology Is Changing Our Minds for the Better 340

michaela cullington, Does Texting Affect Writing? 361

sherry turkle, No Need to Call 373

jenna wortham, I Had a Nice Time with You Tonight. On the App. 393

malcolm gladwell, Small Change: Why the Revolution Will Not Be Tweeted 399

C O N T E N T S

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd x 11/19/14 4:52 PM

 

 

x i

18 WHAT SHOULD WE EAT? 417

michael pollan, Escape from the Western Diet 420

steven shapin, What Are You Buying When You Buy Organic? 428

mary maxfield, Food as Thought: Resisting the Moralization of Eating 442

jonathan safran Foer, Against Meat 448

david zinczenko, Don’t Blame the Eater 462

radley balko, What You Eat Is Your Business 466

michael moss, The Extraordinary Science of Addictive Junk Food 471

marion nestle, The Supermarket: Prime Real Estate 496

david h. freedman, How Junk Food Can End Obesity 506

19 WHAT’S UP WITH THE AMERICAN DREAM? 539

david leonhardt, Inequality Has Been Going on Forever . . . but That Doesn’t Mean It’s Inevitable 542

edward mcclelland, RIP, the Middle Class: 1946–2013 549

paul krugman, Confronting Inequality 561

gary becker and kevin murphy, The Upside of Income Inequality 581

monica potts, What’s Killing Poor White Women? 591

brandon king, The American Dream: Dead, Alive, or on Hold? 610

tim roemer, America Remains the World’s Beacon of Success 618

shayan zadeh, Bring on More Immigrant Entrepreneurs 623

pew research team, King’s Dream Remains an Elusive Goal 627

Contents

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xi 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

x i i

20 WHAT’S GENDER GOT TO DO WITH IT? 639

sheryl sandberg, Lean In: What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid? 642

bell hooks, Dig Deep: Beyond Lean In 659

anne-marie slaughter, Why Women Still Can’t Have It All 676

richard dorment, Why Men Still Can’t Have It All 697

stephen mays, What about Gender Roles in Same-Sex Relationships? 718

dennis baron, Facebook Multiplies Genders but Offers Users the Same Three Tired Pronouns 721

ellen ullman, How to Be a “Woman Programmer” 726

saul kaplan, The Plight of Young Males 732

penelope eckert and sally mcconnell-ginet, Learning to Be Gendered 736

credits 747

acknowledgments 753

index of templates 765

index of authors and titles 781

C O N T E N T S

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xii 11/19/14 4:52 PM

 

 

x i i i

preface to the third edition

H

When we first set out to write this book, our goal was simple: to offer a version of “They Say / I Say”: The Moves That Matter in Academic Writing with an anthology of readings that would demonstrate the rhetorical moves “that matter.” And because “They Say” teaches students that academic writ- ing is a means of entering a conversation, we looked for read- ings on topics that would engage students and inspire them to respond—and to enter the conversations. The book has been more successful than we ever imagined possible, which we believe reflects the growing importance of academic writing as a focus of first-year writing courses, and the fact that students find practical strategies like the ones offered in this book to be particularly helpful. In addition, some teach- ers have told us that this book works well in courses that focus on argument and research because students find these strategies easier to grasp than those in the books that teach various kinds of formal argumentation. Our purpose in writing “They Say” has always been to offer students a user-friendly model of writing that will help them put into practice the important principle that writing is a social activity. Proceeding from the premise that effective writers enter conversations of other writers and speakers, this book encour- ages students to engage with those around them—including those who disagree with them—instead of just expressing their

x i i i

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xiii 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

ideas “logically.” Our own experience teaching first-year writing students has led us to believe that to be persuasive, arguments need not only supporting evidence but also motivation and exigency, and that the surest way to achieve this motivation and exigency is to generate one’s own arguments as a response to those of others—to something “they say.” To help students write their way into the often daunting conversations of aca- demia and the wider public sphere, the book provides tem- plates to help them make sophisticated rhetorical moves that they might otherwise not think of attempting. And of course learning to make these rhetorical moves in writing also helps students become better readers of argument. That the two versions of “They Say / I Say” are now being taught at more than 1,500 schools suggests that there is a wide- spread desire for explicit instruction that is understandable but not oversimplified, to help writers negotiate the basic moves necessary to “enter the conversation.” Instructors have told us how much this book helps their students learn how to write academic discourse, and some students have written to us saying that it’s helped them to “crack the code,” as one student put it. This third edition of “They Say / I Say” with Readings includes forty-three readings on five compelling and controversial issues. The readings provide a glimpse into some important conver- sations of our day—and will, we hope, provoke students to respond and thus to join in those conversations.

HIGHLIGHTS

Forty-three readings that will prompt students to think— and write. Taken from a wide variety of sources, including the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, Salon, the Atlantic, the

P R E FA C E T O T H E T H I R D E D I T I O N

x i v

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xiv 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Pew Research Center, the New Yorker, Wired magazine, best- selling trade books, celebrated speeches, and more, the readings represent a range of perspectives on five important issues:

• Is College the Best Option? • Are We in a Race against the Machine? • What Should We Eat? • What’s Up with the American Dream? • What’s Gender Got to Do with It?

The readings can function as sources for students’ own writing, and the study questions that follow each reading focus students’ attention on how each author uses the key rhetorical moves— and include one question that invites them to write, and often to respond with their own views.

A chapter on reading (Chapter 14) encourages students to think of reading as an act of entering conversations. Instead of teaching students merely to identify the author’s argument, this chapter shows them how to read with an eye for what arguments the author is responding to—in other words, to think carefully about why the writer is making the argument in the first place, and thus to recognize (and ultimately become a part of) the larger conversation that gives meaning to reading the text.

Two books in one, with a rhetoric up front and readings in the back. The two parts are linked by cross-references in the margins, leading from the rhetoric to specific examples in the readings and from the readings to the corresponding writ- ing instruction. Teachers can therefore begin with either the rhetoric or the readings, and the links will facilitate movement between one section and the other.

Preface to the Third Edition

x v

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xv 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

x v i

P R E FA C E T O T H E T H I R D E D I T I O N

what’s new

Two topics are new, two are updated—all addressing impor- tant conversations taking place today. The chapters on gender and technology are new. The food chapter now reaches beyond fast food to address a broader question: what should we eat? And the education chapter asks not just is college worth the price but whether it is even the best option.

Thirty-one new readings, including at least one documented piece and one essay written by a student in each chapter, added in response to requests from many teachers who wanted more complex and documented writing.

They Say / I Blog. Updated monthly, this blog provides up-to- the-minute readings on the issues covered in the book, along with questions that prompt students to literally join the con- versation. Check it out at theysayiblog.com.

A new chapter on “Using the Templates to Revise,” which grew out of our own teaching experience, where we found that the templates in this book had the unexpected benefit of help- ing students when they revise.

A new chapter on writing online, exploring the debate about whether digital technologies improve or degrade the way we think and write, and whether they foster or impede the meet- ing of minds.

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xvi 11/19/14 4:52 PM

 

 

x v i i

A complete instructor’s guide, with teaching tips for all the chapters, syllabi, summaries of the readings, and suggested answers to the study questions. Go to wwnorton.com/instructors to access these materials.

We hope that this new edition of “They Say / I Say” with Read- ings will spark students’ interest in some of the most pressing conversations of our day and provide them with some of the tools they need to engage in those conversations with dexterity and confidence. Gerald Graff Cathy Birkenstein Russel Durst

Preface to the Third Edition

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xvii 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

x v i i i

preface

Demystifying Academic Conversation

H

Experienced writing instructors have long recognized that writing well means entering into conversation with others. Academic writing in particular calls upon writers not simply to express their own ideas, but to do so as a response to what others have said. The first-year writing program at our own university, according to its mission statement, asks “students to partici- pate in ongoing conversations about vitally important academic and public issues.” A similar statement by another program holds that “intellectual writing is almost always composed in response to others’ texts.” These statements echo the ideas of rhetorical theorists like Kenneth Burke, Mikhail Bakhtin, and Wayne Booth as well as recent composition scholars like David Bartholomae, John Bean, Patricia Bizzell, Irene Clark, Greg Colomb, Lisa Ede, Peter Elbow, Joseph Harris, Andrea Lunsford, Elaine Maimon, Gary Olson, Mike Rose, John Swales and Christine Feak, Tilly Warnock, and others who argue that writing well means engaging the voices of others and letting them in turn engage us. Yet despite this growing consensus that writing is a social, conversational act, helping student writers actually partici- pate in these conversations remains a formidable challenge. This book aims to meet that challenge. Its goal is to demys- tify academic writing by isolating its basic moves, explaining them clearly, and representing them in the form of templates.

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xviii 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Demystifying Academic Conversation

x i x

In this way, we hope to help students become active partici- pants in the important conversations of the academic world and the wider public sphere.

highlights

• Shows that writing well means entering a conversation, sum- marizing others (“they say”) to set up one’s own argument (“I say”).

• Demystifies academic writing, showing students “the moves that matter” in language they can readily apply.

• Provides user-friendly templates to help writers make those moves in their own writing.

• Includes a chapter on reading, showing students how the authors they read are part of a conversation that they them- selves can enter—and thus to see reading as a matter not of passively absorbing information but of understanding and actively entering dialogues and debates.

how this book came to be

The original idea for this book grew out of our shared interest in democratizing academic culture. First, it grew out of arguments that Gerald Graff has been making throughout his career that schools and colleges need to invite students into the conversa- tions and debates that surround them. More specifically, it is a practical, hands-on companion to his recent book, Clueless in Academe: How Schooling Obscures the Life of the Mind, in which he looks at academic conversations from the perspective of those who find them mysterious and proposes ways in which

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xix 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

P R E FA C E

x x

such mystification can be overcome. Second, this book grew out of writing templates that Cathy Birkenstein developed in the 1990s, for use in writing and literature courses she was teaching. Many students, she found, could readily grasp what it meant to support a thesis with evidence, to entertain a counter- argument, to identify a textual contradiction, and ultimately to summarize and respond to challenging arguments, but they often had trouble putting these concepts into practice in their own writing. When Cathy sketched out templates on the board, however, giving her students some of the language and patterns that these sophisticated moves require, their writing—and even their quality of thought—significantly improved. This book began, then, when we put our ideas together and realized that these templates might have the potential to open up and clarify academic conversation. We proceeded from the premise that all writers rely on certain stock formulas that they themselves didn’t invent—and that many of these formulas are so commonly used that they can be represented in model templates that students can use to structure and even generate what they want to say. As we developed a working draft of this book, we began using it in first-year writing courses that we teach at UIC. In class- room exercises and writing assignments, we found that students who otherwise struggled to organize their thoughts, or even to think of something to say, did much better when we provided them with templates like the following.

j In discussions of , a controversial issue is whether

. While some argue that , others contend

that .

j This is not to say that .

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xx 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Demystifying Academic Conversation

x x i

One virtue of such templates, we found, is that they focus writers’ attention not just on what is being said, but on the forms that structure what is being said. In other words, they make students more conscious of the rhetorical patterns that are key to academic success but often pass under the classroom radar.

the centrality of “they say / i say”

The central rhetorical move that we focus on in this book is the “they say / I say” template that gives our book its title. In our view, this template represents the deep, underlying structure, the internal DNA as it were, of all effective argument. Effective persuasive writers do more than make well-supported claims (“I say”); they also map those claims relative to the claims of others (“they say”). Here, for example, the “they say / I say” pattern structures a passage from an essay by the media and technology critic Steven Johnson.

For decades, we’ve worked under the assumption that mass cul- ture follows a path declining steadily toward lowest-common- denominator standards, presumably because the “masses” want dumb, simple pleasures and big media companies try to give the masses what they want. But . . . the exact opposite is happening: the culture is getting more cognitively demanding, not less.

Steven Johnson, “Watching TV Makes You Smarter”

In generating his own argument from something “they say,” Johnson suggests why he needs to say what he is saying: to correct a popular misconception.

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xxi 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

P R E FA C E

x x i i

Even when writers do not explicitly identify the views they are responding to, as Johnson does, an implicit “they say” can often be discerned, as in the following passage by Zora Neale Hurston.

I remember the day I became colored. Zora Neale Hurston, “How It Feels to Be Colored Me”

In order to grasp Hurston’s point here, we need to be able to reconstruct the implicit view she is responding to and question- ing: that racial identity is an innate quality we are simply born with. On the contrary, Hurston suggests, our race is imposed on us by society—something we “become” by virtue of how we are treated. As these examples suggest, the “they say / I say” model can improve not just student writing, but student reading compre- hension as well. Since reading and writing are deeply recipro- cal activities, students who learn to make the rhetorical moves represented by the templates in this book figure to become more adept at identifying these same moves in the texts they read. And if we are right that effective arguments are always in dialogue with other arguments, then it follows that in order to understand the types of challenging texts assigned in college, students need to identify the views to which those texts are responding. Working with the “they say / I say” model can also help with invention, finding something to say. In our experience, students best discover what they want to say not by thinking about a subject in an isolation booth, but by reading texts, listening closely to what other writers say, and looking for an opening through which they can enter the conversation. In other words, listening closely to others and summarizing what they have to say can help writers generate their own ideas.

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xxii 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Demystifying Academic Conversation

x x i i i

the usefulness of templates

Our templates also have a generative quality, prompting stu- dents to make moves in their writing that they might not oth- erwise make or even know they should make. The templates in this book can be particularly helpful for students who are unsure about what to say, or who have trouble finding enough to say, often because they consider their own beliefs so self-evident that they need not be argued for. Students like this are often helped, we’ve found, when we give them a simple tem- plate like the following one for entertaining a counterargument (or planting a naysayer, as we call it in Chapter 6).

j Of course some might object that . Although I concede

that , I still maintain that .

What this particular template helps students do is make the seemingly counterintuitive move of questioning their own beliefs, of looking at them from the perspective of those who disagree. In so doing, templates can bring out aspects of stu- dents’ thoughts that, as they themselves sometimes remark, they didn’t even realize were there. Other templates in this book help students make a host of sophisticated moves that they might not otherwise make: sum- marizing what someone else says, framing a quotation in one’s own words, indicating the view that the writer is responding to, marking the shift from a source’s view to the writer’s own view, offering evidence for that view, entertaining and answering counterarguments, and explaining what is at stake in the first place. In showing students how to make such moves, templates do more than organize students’ ideas; they help bring those ideas into existence.

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xxiii 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

P R E FA C E

x x i v

okay, but templates?

We are aware, of course, that some instructors may have res- ervations about templates. Some, for instance, may object that such formulaic devices represent a return to prescriptive forms of instruction that encourage passive learning or lead students to put their writing on automatic pilot. This is an understandable reaction, we think, to kinds of rote instruction that have indeed encouraged passivity and drained writing of its creativity and dynamic relation to the social world. The trouble is that many students will never learn on their own to make the key intellectual moves that our templates repre- sent. While seasoned writers pick up these moves unconsciously through their reading, many students do not. Consequently, we believe, students need to see these moves represented in the explicit ways that the templates provide. The aim of the templates, then, is not to stifle critical thinking but to be direct with students about the key rhetori- cal moves that it comprises. Since we encourage students to modify and adapt the templates to the particularities of the arguments they are making, using such prefabricated formulas as learning tools need not result in writing and thinking that are themselves formulaic. Admittedly, no teaching tool can guarantee that students will engage in hard, rigorous thought. Our templates do, however, provide concrete prompts that can stimulate and shape such thought: What do “they say” about my topic? What would a naysayer say about my argument? What is my evidence? Do I need to qualify my point? Who cares? In fact, templates have a long and rich history. Public orators from ancient Greece and Rome through the European Renais- sance studied rhetorical topoi or “commonplaces,” model passages and formulas that represented the different strategies available

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xxiv 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Demystifying Academic Conversation

x x v

to public speakers. In many respects, our templates echo this classical rhetorical tradition of imitating established models. The journal Nature requires aspiring contributors to follow a guideline that is like a template on the opening page of their manuscript: “Two or three sentences explaining what the main result [of their study] reveals in direct comparison with what was thought to be the case previously, or how the main result adds to previous knowledge.” In the field of education, a form designed by the education theorist Howard Gardner asks postdoctoral fellowship applicants to complete the following template: “Most scholars in the field believe . As a result of my study,

.” That these two examples are geared toward post- doctoral fellows and veteran researchers shows that it is not only struggling undergraduates who can use help making these key rhetorical moves, but experienced academics as well. Templates have even been used in the teaching of personal narrative. The literary and educational theorist Jane Tompkins devised the following template to help student writers make the often difficult move from telling a story to explaining what it means: “X tells a story about to make the point that

. My own experience with yields a point that is similar/different/both similar and different. What I take away from my own experience with is . As a result, I conclude .” We especially like this template because it suggests that “they say / I say” argument need not be mechanical, impersonal, or dry, and that telling a story and mak- ing an argument are more compatible activities than many think.

why it’s okay to use “i”

But wait—doesn’t the “I” part of “they say / I say” flagrantly encourage the use of the first-person pronoun? Aren’t we aware

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xxv 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

P R E FA C E

x x v i

that some teachers prohibit students from using “I” or “we,” on the grounds that these pronouns encourage ill-considered, subjective opinions rather than objective and reasoned argu- ments? Yes, we are aware of this first-person prohibition, but we think it has serious flaws. First, expressing ill-considered, subjective opinions is not necessarily the worst sin beginning writers can commit; it might be a starting point from which they can move on to more reasoned, less self-indulgent perspectives. Second, prohibiting students from using “I” is simply not an effective way of curbing students’ subjectivity, since one can offer poorly argued, ill-supported opinions just as easily without it. Third and most important, prohibiting the first person tends to hamper students’ ability not only to take strong positions but to differentiate their own positions from those of others, as we point out in Chapter 5. To be sure, writers can resort to vari- ous circumlocutions—“it will here be argued,” “the evidence suggests,” “the truth is”—and these may be useful for avoid- ing a monotonous series of “I believe” sentences. But except for avoiding such monotony, we see no good reason why “I” should be set aside in persuasive writing. Rather than prohibit “I,” then, we think a better tactic is to give students practice at using it well and learning its use, both by supporting their claims with evidence and by attending closely to alternative perspectives—to what “they” are saying.

how this book is organized

Because of its centrality, we have allowed the “they say / I say” format to dictate the structure of this book. So while Part 1 addresses the art of listening to others, Part 2 addresses how to offer one’s own response. Part 1 opens with a chapter on

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xxvi 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Demystifying Academic Conversation

x x v i i

“Starting with What Others Are Saying” that explains why it is generally advisable to begin a text by citing others rather than plunging directly into one’s own views. Subsequent chapters take up the arts of summarizing and quoting what these others have to say. Part 2 begins with a chapter on different ways of responding, followed by chapters on marking the shift between what “they say” and what “I say,” on introducing and answering objections, and on answering the all-important questions: “so what?” and “who cares?” Part 3 offers strategies for “Tying It All Together,” beginning with a chapter on connection and coher- ence; followed by a chapter on formal and informal language, arguing that academic discourse is often perfectly compatible with the informal language that students use outside school; and concluding with a chapter on the art of metacommentary, showing students how to guide the way readers understand a text. Part 4 offers guidance for entering conversations in specific academic contexts, with chapters on entering class discussions, writing online, reading, and writing in literature courses, the sciences, and social sciences. Finally, we provide five readings and an index of templates.

what this book doesn’t do

There are some things that this book does not try to do. We do not, for instance, cover logical principles of argument such as syllogisms, warrants, logical fallacies, or the differences between inductive and deductive reasoning. Although such concepts can be useful, we believe most of us learn the ins and outs of argumentative writing not by studying logical principles in the abstract, but by plunging into actual discussions and debates, trying out different patterns of response, and in this way getting

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xxvii 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

P R E FA C E

x x v i i i

a sense of what works to persuade different audiences and what doesn’t. In our view, people learn more about arguing from hearing someone say, “You miss my point. What I’m saying is not , but ,” or “I agree with you that

, and would even add that ,” than they do from studying the differences between inductive and deductive reasoning. Such formulas give students an immediate sense of what it feels like to enter a public conversation in a way that studying abstract warrants and logical fallacies does not.

engaging with the ideas of others

One central goal of this book is to demystify academic writing by returning it to its social and conversational roots. Although writing may require some degree of quiet and solitude, the “they say / I say” model shows students that they can best develop their arguments not just by looking inward but by doing what they often do in a good conversation with friends and family— by listening carefully to what others are saying and engaging with other views. This approach to writing therefore has an ethical dimension, since it asks writers not simply to keep proving and reasserting what they already believe but to stretch what they believe by putting it up against beliefs that differ, sometimes radically, from their own. In an increasingly diverse, global society, this ability to engage with the ideas of others is especially crucial to democratic citizenship. Gerald Graff Cathy Birkenstein

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xxviii 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

T H I R D E D I T I O N

“THEY SAY I SAY” The Move s Tha t Ma t t e r

i n Academ i c Wr i t i n g

WITH READINGS

H

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xxix 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

01_GRA_93584_FM_i_xxx.indd xxx 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

1

introduction

Entering the Conversation

H

Think about an activity that you do particularly well: cooking, playing the piano, shooting a basketball, even some- thing as basic as driving a car. If you reflect on this activity, you’ll realize that once you mastered it you no longer had to give much conscious thought to the various moves that go into doing it. Performing this activity, in other words, depends on your having learned a series of complicated moves—moves that may seem mysterious or difficult to those who haven’t yet learned them. The same applies to writing. Often without consciously real- izing it, accomplished writers routinely rely on a stock of estab- lished moves that are crucial for communicating sophisticated ideas. What makes writers masters of their trade is not only their ability to express interesting thoughts but their mastery of an inventory of basic moves that they probably picked up by reading a wide range of other accomplished writers. Less experienced writers, by contrast, are often unfamiliar with these basic moves and unsure how to make them in their own writ- ing. This book is intended as a short, user-friendly guide to the basic moves of academic writing. One of our key premises is that these basic moves are so common that they can be represented in templates that you can use right away to structure and even generate your own

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 1 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

I N T R O D U C T I O N

2

writing. Perhaps the most distinctive feature of this book is its pre sentation of many such templates, designed to help you successfully enter not only the world of academic thinking and writing, but also the wider worlds of civic discourse and work. Instead of focusing solely on abstract principles of writing, then, this book offers model templates that help you put those principles directly into practice. Working with these templates can give you an immediate sense of how to engage in the kinds of critical thinking you are required to do at the college level and in the vocational and public spheres beyond. Some of these templates represent simple but crucial moves like those used to summarize some widely held belief.

j Many Americans assume that .

Others are more complicated.

j On the one hand, . On the other hand, .

j Author X contradicts herself. At the same time that she argues

, she also implies .

j I agree that .

j This is not to say that .

It is true, of course, that critical thinking and writing go deeper than any set of linguistic formulas, requiring that you question assumptions, develop strong claims, offer supporting reasons and evidence, consider opposing arguments, and so on. But these deeper habits of thought cannot be put into practice unless you have a language for expressing them in clear, orga- nized ways.

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 2 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Entering the Conversation

3

state your own ideas as a response to others

The single most important template that we focus on in this book is the “they say ; I say ” formula that gives our book its title. If there is any one point that we hope you will take away from this book, it is the importance not only of expressing your ideas (“I say”) but of presenting those ideas as a response to some other person or group (“they say”). For us, the underlying structure of effective academic writing—and of responsible public discourse—resides not just in stating our own ideas but in listening closely to others around us, summarizing their views in a way that they will recognize, and responding with our own ideas in kind. Broadly speaking, academic writ- ing is argumentative writing, and we believe that to argue well you need to do more than assert your own position. You need to enter a conversation, using what others say (or might say) as a launching pad or sounding board for your own views. For this reason, one of the main pieces of advice in this book is to write the voices of others into your text. In our view, then, the best academic writing has one under- lying feature: it is deeply engaged in some way with other peo- ple’s views. Too often, however, academic writing is taught as a process of saying “true” or “smart” things in a vacuum, as if it were possible to argue effectively without being in conver- sation with someone else. If you have been taught to write a traditional five-paragraph essay, for example, you have learned how to develop a thesis and support it with evidence. This is good advice as far as it goes, but it leaves out the important fact that in the real world we don’t make arguments without being provoked. Instead, we make arguments because some- one has said or done something (or perhaps not said or done

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 3 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

I N T R O D U C T I O N

4

something) and we need to respond: “I can’t see why you like the Lakers so much”; “I agree: it was a great film”; “That argu- ment is contradictory.” If it weren’t for other people and our need to challenge, agree with, or otherwise respond to them, there would be no reason to argue at all. To make an impact as a writer, you need to do more than make statements that are logical, well supported, and consis- tent. You must also find a way of entering a conversation with others’ views—with something “they say.” If your own argu- ment doesn’t identify the “they say” that you’re responding to, it probably won’t make sense. As the figure above suggests, what you are saying may be clear to your audience, but why you are saying it won’t be. For it is what others are saying and thinking that motivates our writing and gives it a reason for being. It follows, then, as the figure on the next page suggests, that your own argument—the thesis or “I say” moment of your text—should always be a response to the arguments of others. Many writers make explicit “they say / I say” moves in their writing. One famous example is Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Letter

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 4 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Entering the Conversation

5

from Birmingham Jail,” which consists almost entirely of King’s eloquent responses to a public statement by eight clergymen deploring the civil rights protests he was leading. The letter— which was written in 1963, while King was in prison for leading a demonstration against racial injustice in Birmingham—is structured almost entirely around a framework of summary and response, in which King summarizes and then answers their criticisms. In one typical passage, King writes as follows.

You deplore the demonstrations taking place in Birmingham. But your statement, I am sorry to say, fails to express a similar concern for the conditions that brought about the demonstrations.

Martin Luther King Jr., “Letter from Birmingham Jail”

King goes on to agree with his critics that “It is unfortunate that demonstrations are taking place in Birmingham,” yet he hastens

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 5 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

I N T R O D U C T I O N

6

to add that “it is even more unfortunate that the city’s white power structure left the Negro community with no alternative.” King’s letter is so thoroughly conversational, in fact, that it could be rewritten in the form of a dialogue or play.

King’s critics: King’s response: Critics: Response:

Clearly, King would not have written his famous letter were it not for his critics, whose views he treats not as objections to his already-formed arguments but as the motivating source of those arguments, their central reason for being. He quotes not only what his critics have said (“Some have asked: ‘Why didn’t you give the new city administration time to act?’ ”), but also things they might have said (“One may well ask: ‘How can you advocate breaking some laws and obeying others?’ ”)—all to set the stage for what he himself wants to say. A similar “they say / I say” exchange opens an essay about American patriotism by the social critic Katha Pollitt, who uses her own daughter’s comment to represent the national fervor of post-9/11 patriotism.

My daughter, who goes to Stuyvesant High School only blocks from the former World Trade Center, thinks we should fly the American flag out our window. Definitely not, I say: The flag stands for jingoism and vengeance and war. She tells me I’m wrong—the flag means standing together and honoring the dead and saying no to terrorism. In a way we’re both right. . . .

Katha Pollitt, “Put Out No Flags”

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 6 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Entering the Conversation

7

As Pollitt’s example shows, the “they” you respond to in crafting an argument need not be a famous author or someone known to your audience. It can be a family member like Pollitt’s daughter, or a friend or classmate who has made a provocative claim. It can even be something an individual or a group might say—or a side of yourself, something you once believed but no longer do, or something you partly believe but also doubt. The important thing is that the “they” (or “you” or “she”) represent some wider group with which read- ers might identify—in Pollitt’s case, those who patriotically believe in flying the flag. Pollitt’s example also shows that responding to the views of others need not always involve unqualified opposition. By agreeing and disagreeing with her daughter, Pollitt enacts what we call the “yes and no” response, reconciling apparently incompatible views. While King and Pollitt both identify the views they are responding to, some authors do not explicitly state their views but instead allow the reader to infer them. See, for instance, if you can identify the implied or unnamed “they say” that the following claim is responding to.

I like to think I have a certain advantage as a teacher of literature because when I was growing up I disliked and feared books.

Gerald Graff, “Disliking Books at an Early Age”

In case you haven’t figured it out already, the phantom “they say” here is the common belief that in order to be a good teacher of literature, one must have grown up liking and enjoy- ing books.

See Chapter 4 for more on agreeing, but with a difference.

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 7 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

I N T R O D U C T I O N

8

As you can see from these examples, many writers use the “they say / I say” format to agree or disagree with others, to chal- lenge standard ways of thinking, and thus to stir up controversy. This point may come as a shock to you if you have always had the impression that in order to succeed academically you need to play it safe and avoid controversy in your writing, making statements that nobody can possibly disagree with. Though this view of writing may appear logical, it is actually a recipe for flat, lifeless writing and for writing that fails to answer what we call the “so what?” and “who cares?” questions. “William Shakespeare wrote many famous plays and sonnets” may be a perfectly true statement, but precisely because nobody is likely to disagree with it, it goes without saying and thus would seem pointless if said.

ways of responding

Just because much argumentative writing is driven by disagree- ment, it does not follow that agreement is ruled out. Although argumentation is often associated with conflict and opposition, the type of conversational “they say / I say” argument that we focus on in this book can be just as useful when you agree as when you disagree.

j She argues , and I agree because .

j Her argument that is supported by new research

showing that .

Nor do you always have to choose between either simply agree- ing or disagreeing, since the “they say / I say” format also works to both agree and disagree at the same time, as Pollitt illustrates above.

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 8 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Entering the Conversation

9

j He claims that , and I have mixed feelings about it.

On the one hand, I agree that . On the other hand,

I still insist that .

This last option—agreeing and disagreeing simultaneously—is one we especially recommend, since it allows you to avoid a simple yes or no response and present a more complicated argu- ment, while containing that complication within a clear “on the one hand / on the other hand” framework. While the templates we offer in this book can be used to structure your writing at the sentence level, they can also be expanded as needed to almost any length, as the following elaborated “they say / I say” template demonstrates.

j In recent discussions of , a controversial issue has

been whether . On the one hand, some argue

that . From this perspective, . On the other

hand, however, others argue that . In the words of

, one of this view’s main proponents, “ .”

According to this view, . In sum, then, the issue is

whether or .

My own view is that . Though I concede that

, I still maintain that . For example,

. Although some might object that , I would

reply that . The issue is important because .

If you go back over this template, you will see that it helps you make a host of challenging moves (each of which is taken up in forthcoming chapters in this book). First, the template helps you open your text by identifying an issue in some ongoing conversation or debate (“In recent discussions of ,

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 9 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

I N T R O D U C T I O N

1 0

a controversial issue has been ”), and then to map some of the voices in this controversy (by using the “on the one hand / on the other hand” structure). The template also helps you introduce a quotation (“In the words of ”), to explain the quotation in your own words (“According to this view”), and—in a new paragraph—to state your own argument (“My own view is that”), to qualify your argument (“Though I con- cede that”), and then to support your argument with evidence (“For example”). In addition, the template helps you make one of the most crucial moves in argumentative writing, what we call “planting a naysayer in your text,” in which you summarize and then answer a likely objection to your own central claim (“Although it might be objected that , I reply ”). Finally, this template helps you shift between general, over- arching claims (“In sum, then”) and smaller-scale, supporting claims (“For example”). Again, none of us is born knowing these moves, especially when it comes to academic writing. Hence the need for this book.

do templates stifle creativity?

If you are like some of our students, your initial response to templates may be skepticism. At first, many of our students complain that using templates will take away their originality and creativity and make them all sound the same. “They’ll turn us into writing robots,” one of our students insisted. Another agreed, adding, “Hey, I’m a jazz musician. And we don’t play by set forms. We create our own.” “I’m in college now,” another student asserted; “this is third-grade-level stuff.” In our view, however, the templates in this book, far from being “third-grade-level stuff,” represent the stock in trade of

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 10 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Entering the Conversation

1 1

sophisticated thinking and writing, and they often require a great deal of practice and instruction to use successfully. As for the belief that pre-established forms undermine creativity, we think it rests on a very limited vision of what creativity is all about. In our view, the above template and the others in this book will actually help your writing become more original and creative, not less. After all, even the most creative forms of expression depend on established patterns and structures. Most songwriters, for instance, rely on a time-honored verse- chorus-verse pattern, and few people would call Shakespeare uncreative because he didn’t invent the sonnet or the dramatic forms that he used to such dazzling effect. Even the most avant- garde, cutting-edge artists (like improvisational jazz musicians) need to master the basic forms that their work improvises on, departs from, and goes beyond, or else their work will come across as uneducated child’s play. Ultimately, then, creativity and originality lie not in the avoidance of established forms but in the imaginative use of them. Furthermore, these templates do not dictate the content of what you say, which can be as original as you can make it, but only suggest a way of formatting how you say it. In addition, once you begin to feel comfortable with the templates in this book, you will be able to improvise creatively on them to fit new situations and purposes and find others in your reading. In other words, the templates offered here are learning tools to get you started, not structures set in stone. Once you get used to using them, you can even dispense with them altogether, for the rhetorical moves they model will be at your fingertips in an unconscious, instinctive way. But if you still need proof that writing templates do not stifle creativity, consider the following opening to an essay on the fast-food industry that we’ve included at the back of this book.

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 11 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

I N T R O D U C T I O N

1 2

If ever there were a newspaper headline custom-made for Jay Leno’s monologue, this was it. Kids taking on McDonald’s this week, suing the company for making them fat. Isn’t that like middle-aged men suing Porsche for making them get speeding tickets? Whatever happened to personal responsibility? I tend to sympathize with these portly fast-food patrons, though. Maybe that’s because I used to be one of them.

David Zinczenko, “Don’t Blame the Eater”

Although Zinczenko relies on a version of the “they say / I say” formula, his writing is anything but dry, robotic, or uncre- ative. While Zinczenko does not explicitly use the words “they say” and “I say,” the template still gives the passage its underlying structure: “They say that kids suing fast-food com- panies for making them fat is a joke; but I say such lawsuits are justified.”

but isn’t this plagiarism?

“But isn’t this plagiarism?” at least one student each year will usually ask. “Well, is it?” we respond, turning the question around into one the entire class can profit from. “We are, after all, asking you to use language in your writing that isn’t your own—language that you ‘borrow’ or, to put it less delicately, steal from other writers.” Often, a lively discussion ensues that raises important questions about authorial ownership and helps everyone better understand the frequently confusing line between pla- giarism and the legitimate use of what others say and how they say it. Students are quick to see that no one person owns a conventional formula like “on the one hand . . . on the other hand . . . ” Phrases like “a controversial issue”

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 12 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Entering the Conversation

1 3

are so commonly used and recycled that they are generic— community property that can be freely used without fear of committing plagiarism. It is plagiarism, however, if the words used to fill in the blanks of such formulas are borrowed from others without proper acknowledgment. In sum, then, while it is not plagiarism to recycle conventionally used formulas, it is a serious academic offense to take the substantive content from others’ texts without citing the author and giving him or her proper credit.

putting in your oar

Though the immediate goal of this book is to help you become a better writer, at a deeper level it invites you to become a certain type of person: a critical, intellectual thinker who, instead of sit- ting passively on the sidelines, can participate in the debates and conversations of your world in an active and empowered way. Ultimately, this book invites you to become a critical thinker who can enter the types of conversations described eloquently by the philosopher Kenneth Burke in the following widely cited passage. Likening the world of intellectual exchange to a never- ending conversation at a party, Burke writes:

You come late. When you arrive, others have long preceded you, and they are engaged in a heated discussion, a discussion too heated for them to pause and tell you exactly what it is about. . . . You listen for a while, until you decide that you have caught the tenor of the argument; then you put in your oar. Someone answers; you answer him; another comes to your defense; another aligns himself against you. . . . The hour grows late, you must depart. And you do depart, with the discussion still vigorously in progress.

Kenneth Burke, The Philosophy of Literary Form

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 13 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

I N T R O D U C T I O N

1 4

What we like about this passage is its suggestion that stating an argument and “putting in your oar” can only be done in conversation with others; that we all enter the dynamic world of ideas not as isolated individuals but as social beings deeply connected to others who have a stake in what we say. This ability to enter complex, many-sided conversations has taken on a special urgency in today’s diverse, post-9/11 world, where the future for all of us may depend on our ability to put ourselves in the shoes of those who think very differently from us. The central piece of advice in this book—that we listen carefully to others, including those who disagree with us, and then engage with them thoughtfully and respectfully—can help us see beyond our own pet beliefs, which may not be shared by everyone. The mere act of crafting a sentence that begins “Of course, someone might object that ” may not seem like a way to change the world; but it does have the potential to jog us out of our comfort zones, to get us thinking critically about our own beliefs, and perhaps even to change our minds.

Exercises

1. Read the following paragraph from an essay by Emily Poe, a student at Furman University. Disregarding for the moment what Poe says, focus your attention on the phrases she uses to structure what she says (italicized here). Then write a new paragraph using Poe’s as a model but replacing her topic, vegetarianism, with one of your own.

The term “vegetarian” tends to be synonymous with “tree-hugger” in many people’s minds. They see vegetarianism as a cult that brainwashes its followers into eliminating an essential part of their

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 14 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Entering the Conversation

1 5

daily diets for an abstract goal of “animal welfare.” However, few vegetarians choose their lifestyle just to follow the crowd. On the contrary, many of these supposedly brainwashed people are actu- ally independent thinkers, concerned citizens, and compassionate human beings. For the truth is that there are many very good reasons for giving up meat. Perhaps the best reasons are to improve the environment, to encourage humane treatment of livestock, or to enhance one’s own health. In this essay, then, closely examining a vegetarian diet as compared to a meat-eater’s diet will show that vegetarianism is clearly the better option for sustaining the Earth and all its inhabitants.

2. Write a short essay in which you first summarize our rationale for the templates in this book and then articulate your own position in response. If you want, you can use the template below to organize your paragraphs, expanding and modifying it as necessary to fit what you want to say.

In the Introduction to “They Say / I Say”: The Moves That Matter in

Academic Writing, Gerald Graff and Cathy Birkenstein provide tem-

plates designed to . Specifically, Graff and Birkenstein

argue that the types of writing templates they offer . As

the authors themselves put it, “ .” Although some people

believe , Graff and Birkenstein insist that .

In sum, then, their view is that .

I [agree/disagree/have mixed feelings]. In my view, the types

of templates that the authors recommend . For

instance, . In addition, . Some might object,

of course, on the grounds that . Yet I would argue

that . Overall, then, I believe —an important

point to make given .

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 15 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

02_GRA_93584_Intro_001_016.indd 16 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

1 H

“THEY SAY”

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 17 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 18 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

1 9

ONE

“they say”

Starting with What Others Are Saying

H

Not long ago we attended a talk at an academic conference where the speaker’s central claim seemed to be that a certain sociologist—call him Dr. X—had done very good work in a number of areas of the discipline. The speaker proceeded to illustrate his thesis by referring extensively and in great detail to various books and articles by Dr. X and by quoting long pas- sages from them. The speaker was obviously both learned and impassioned, but as we listened to his talk we found ourselves somewhat puzzled: the argument—that Dr. X’s work was very important—was clear enough, but why did the speaker need to make it in the first place? Did anyone dispute it? Were there commentators in the field who had argued against X’s work or challenged its value? Was the speaker’s interpretation of what X had done somehow novel or revolutionary? Since the speaker gave no hint of an answer to any of these questions, we could only wonder why he was going on and on about X. It was only after the speaker finished and took questions from the audience that we got a clue: in response to one questioner, he referred to several critics who had

The hypo- thetical audience in the figure on p. 4 reacts similarly.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 19 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

o n e o n e “ T H E Y S A Y ”

2 0

vigorously questioned Dr. X’s ideas and convinced many soci- ologists that Dr. X’s work was unsound. This story illustrates an important lesson: that to give writ- ing the most important thing of all—namely, a point—a writer needs to indicate clearly not only what his or her thesis is, but also what larger conversation that thesis is responding to. Because our speaker failed to mention what others had said about Dr. X’s work, he left his audience unsure about why he felt the need to say what he was saying. Perhaps the point was clear to other sociologists in the audience who were more familiar with the debates over Dr. X’s work than we were. But even they, we bet, would have understood the speaker’s point better if he’d sketched in some of the larger conversation his own claims were a part of and reminded the audience about what “they say.” This story also illustrates an important lesson about the order in which things are said: to keep an audience engaged, a writer needs to explain what he or she is responding to—either before offering that response or, at least, very early in the discussion. Delaying this explanation for more than one or two paragraphs in a very short essay or blog entry, three or four pages in a longer work, or more than ten or so pages in a book reverses the natural order in which readers process material—and in which writers think and develop ideas. After all, it seems very unlikely that our

conference speaker first developed his defense of Dr. X and only later came across Dr. X’s critics. As someone knowledgeable in his field, the speaker surely encoun- tered the criticisms first and only then was compelled to respond and, as he saw it, set the record straight.

Therefore, when it comes to constructing an argument (whether orally or in writing), we offer you the following advice: remember that you are entering a conversation and therefore need to start with “what others are saying,” as the

See how an essay about community

college opens by quoting its critics, p. 255.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 20 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Starting with What Others Are Saying

2 1

title of this chapter recommends, and then introduce your own ideas as a response. Specifically, we suggest that you summarize what “they say” as soon as you can in your text, and remind readers of it at strategic points as your text unfolds. Though it’s true that not all texts follow this practice, we think it’s important for all writers to master it before they depart from it. This is not to say that you must start with a detailed list of everyone who has written on your subject before you offer your own ideas. Had our conference speaker gone to the opposite extreme and spent most of his talk summarizing Dr. X’s critics with no hint of what he himself had to say, the audience probably would have had the same frustrated “why-is-he-going-on-like- this?” reaction. What we suggest, then, is that as soon as possible you state your own position and the one it’s responding to together, and that you think of the two as a unit. It is generally best to summarize the ideas you’re responding to briefly, at the start of your text, and to delay detailed elaboration until later. The point is to give your readers a quick preview of what is motivating your argument, not to drown them in details right away. Starting with a summary of others’ views may seem to con- tradict the common advice that writers should lead with their own thesis or claim. Although we agree that you shouldn’t keep readers in suspense too long about your central argument, we also believe that you need to present that argument as part of some larger conversation, indicating something about the arguments of others that you are supporting, opposing, amending, compli- cating, or qualifying. One added benefit of summarizing others’ views as soon as you can: you let those others do some of the work of framing and clarifying the issue you’re writing about. Consider, for example, how George Orwell starts his famous essay “Politics and the English Language” with what others are saying.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 21 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

o n e o n e “ T H E Y S A Y ”

2 2

Most people who bother with the matter at all would admit that the English language is in a bad way, but it is generally assumed that we cannot by conscious action do anything about it. Our civiliza- tion is decadent and our language—so the argument runs—must inevitably share in the general collapse. . . . [But] the process is reversible. Modern English . . . is full of bad habits . . . which can be avoided if one is willing to take the necessary trouble.

George Orwell, “Politics and the English Language”

Orwell is basically saying, “Most people assume that we cannot do anything about the bad state of the English language. But I say we can.” Of course, there are many other powerful ways to begin. Instead of opening with someone else’s views, you could start with an illustrative quotation, a revealing fact or statistic, or— as we do in this chapter—a relevant anecdote. If you choose one of these formats, however, be sure that it in some way illustrates the view you’re addressing or leads you to that view directly, with a minimum of steps. In opening this chapter, for example, we devote the first para- graph to an anecdote about the conference speaker and then move quickly at the start of the second paragraph to the miscon- ception about writing exemplified by the speaker. In the follow- ing opening, from an opinion piece in the New York Times Book Review, Christina Nehring also moves quickly from an anecdote illustrating something she dislikes to her own claim—that book lovers think too highly of themselves.

“I’m a reader!” announced the yellow button. “How about you?” I looked at its bearer, a strapping young guy stalking my town’s Festival of Books. “I’ll bet you’re a reader,” he volunteered, as though we were

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 22 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Starting with What Others Are Saying

2 3

two geniuses well met. “No,” I replied. “Absolutely not,” I wanted to yell, and fling my Barnes & Noble bag at his feet. Instead, I mumbled something apologetic and melted into the crowd. There’s a new piety in the air: the self congratulation of book lovers.

Christina Nehring, “Books Make You a Boring Person”

Nehring’s anecdote is really a kind of “they say”: book lovers keep telling themselves how great they are.

templates for introducing what “they say”

There are lots of conventional ways to introduce what others are saying. Here are some standard templates that we would have recommended to our conference speaker.

j A number of sociologists have recently suggested that X’s work

has several fundamental problems.

j It has become common today to dismiss .

j In their recent work, Y and Z have offered harsh critiques of

for .

templates for introducing “standard views”

The following templates can help you make what we call the “standard view” move, in which you introduce a view that has become so widely accepted that by now it is essentially the conventional way of thinking about a topic.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 23 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

o n e o n e “ T H E Y S A Y ”

2 4

j Americans have always believed that individual effort can

triumph over circumstances.

j Conventional wisdom has it that .

j Common sense seems to dictate that .

j The standard way of thinking about topic X has it that .

j It is often said that .

j My whole life I have heard it said that .

j You would think that .

j Many people assume that .

These templates are popular because they provide a quick and efficient way to perform one of the most common moves that writers make: challenging widely accepted beliefs, placing them on the examining table, and analyzing their strengths and weaknesses.

templates for making what “they say” something you say

Another way to introduce the views you’re responding to is to present them as your own. That is, the “they say” that you respond to need not be a view held by others; it can be one that you yourself once held or one that you are ambivalent about.

j I’ve always believed that museums are boring.

j When I was a child, I used to think that .

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 24 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Starting with What Others Are Saying

2 5

j Although I should know better by now, I cannot help thinking

that .

j At the same time that I believe , I also believe

.

templates for introducing something implied or assumed

Another sophisticated move a writer can make is to summarize a point that is not directly stated in what “they say” but is implied or assumed.

j Although none of them have ever said so directly, my teachers

have often given me the impression that education will open doors.

j One implication of X’s treatment of is that .

j Although X does not say so directly, she apparently assumes

that .

j While they rarely admit as much, often take for

granted that .

These are templates that can help you think analytically—to look beyond what others say explicitly and to consider their unstated assumptions, as well as the implications of their views.

templates for introducing an ongoing debate

Sometimes you’ll want to open by summarizing a debate that presents two or more views. This kind of opening

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 25 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

o n e o n e “ T H E Y S A Y ”

2 6

demonstrates your awareness that there are conflicting ways to look at your subject, the clear mark of someone who knows the subject and therefore is likely to be a reliable, trustworthy guide. Furthermore, opening with a summary of a debate can help you explore the issue you are writing about before declar- ing your own view. In this way, you can use the writing process itself to help you discover where you stand instead of having to commit to a position before you are ready to do so. Here is a basic template for opening with a debate.

j In discussions of X, one controversial issue has been .

On the one hand, argues . On the other

hand, contends . Others even maintain

. My own view is .

The cognitive scientist Mark Aronoff uses this kind of template in an essay on the workings of the human brain.

Theories of how the mind/brain works have been dominated for centuries by two opposing views. One, rationalism, sees the human mind as coming into this world more or less fully formed— preprogrammed, in modern terms. The other, empiricism, sees the mind of the newborn as largely unstructured, a blank slate.

Mark Aronoff, “Washington Sleeped Here”

Another way to open with a debate involves starting with a proposition many people agree with in order to highlight the point(s) on which they ultimately disagree.

j When it comes to the topic of , most of us will read-

ily agree that . Where this agreement usually ends,

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 26 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Starting with What Others Are Saying

2 7

however, is on the question of . Whereas some are

convinced that , others maintain that .

The political writer Thomas Frank uses a variation on this move.

That we are a nation divided is an almost universal lament of this bitter election year. However, the exact property that divides us—elemental though it is said to be—remains a matter of some controversy.

Thomas Frank, “American Psyche”

keep what “they say” in view

We can’t urge you too strongly to keep in mind what “they say” as you move through the rest of your text. After summarizing the ideas you are responding to at the outset, it’s very impor- tant to continue to keep those ideas in view. Readers won’t be able to follow your unfolding response, much less any compli- cations you may offer, unless you keep reminding them what claims you are responding to. In other words, even when presenting your own claims, you should keep returning to the motivating “they say.” The longer and more complicated your text, the greater the chance that readers will forget what ideas originally moti- vated it—no matter how clearly you lay them out at the beginning. At strategic moments throughout your text, we recommend that you include what we call “return sentences.” Here is an example.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 27 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

o n e o n e “ T H E Y S A Y ”

2 8

j In conclusion, then, as I suggested earlier, defenders of

can’t have it both ways. Their assertion that

is contradicted by their claim that .

We ourselves use such return sentences at every opportunity in this book to remind you of the view of writing that our book questions—that good writing means making true or smart or logical statements about a given subject with little or no refer- ence to what others say about it. By reminding readers of the ideas you’re responding to, return sentences ensure that your text maintains a sense of mission and urgency from start to finish. In short, they help ensure that your argument is a genuine response to others’ views rather than just a set of observations about a given subject. The difference is huge. To be responsive to others and the conver- sation you’re entering, you need to start with what others are saying and continue keeping it in the reader’s view.

Exercises

1. The following is a list of arguments that lack a “they say”— any sense of who needs to hear these claims, who might think otherwise. Like the speaker in the cartoon on page 4 who declares that The Sopranos presents complex characters, these one-sided arguments fail to explain what view they are responding to—what view, in effect, they are trying to correct, add to, qualify, complicate, and so forth. Your job in this exercise is to provide each argument with such a counterview. Feel free to use any of the templates in this chapter that you find helpful.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 28 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Starting with What Others Are Saying

2 9

a. Our experiments suggest that there are dangerous levels of chemical X in the Ohio groundwater.

b. Material forces drive history. c. Proponents of Freudian psychology question standard

notions of “rationality.” d. Male students often dominate class discussions. e. The film is about the problems of romantic relationships. f. I’m afraid that templates like the ones in this book will

stifle my creativity.

2. Below is a template that we derived from the opening of David Zinczenko’s “Don’t Blame the Eater” (p. 462). Use the template to structure a passage on a topic of your own choosing. Your first step here should be to find an idea that you support that others not only disagree with but actually find laughable (or, as Zinczenko puts it, worthy of a Jay Leno monologue). You might write about one of the topics listed in the previous exercise (the environment, gender relations, the meaning of a book or movie) or any other topic that interests you.

If ever there was an idea custom-made for a Jay Leno monologue,

this was it: . Isn’t that like ? Whatever hap-

pened to ?

I happen to sympathize with , though, perhaps

because .

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 29 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

3 0

TWO

“her point is”

The Art of Summarizing

H

If it is true, as we claim in this book, that to argue persuasively you need to be in dialogue with others, then sum- marizing others’ arguments is central to your arsenal of basic moves. Because writers who make strong claims need to map their claims relative to those of other people, it is important to know how to summarize effectively what those other people say. (We’re using the word “summarizing” here to refer to any information from others that you present in your own words, including that which you paraphrase.) Many writers shy away from summarizing—perhaps because they don’t want to take the trouble to go back to the text in question and wrestle with what it says, or because they fear that devoting too much time to other people’s ideas will take away from their own. When assigned to write a response to an article, such writers might offer their own views on the article’s topic while hardly mentioning what the article itself argues or says. At the opposite extreme are those who do nothing but summarize. Lacking confidence, perhaps, in their own ideas, these writers so overload their texts with summaries of others’ ideas that their own voice gets lost. And since these summaries are not animated

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 30 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

The Art of Summarizing

3 1

by the writers’ own interests, they often read like mere lists of things that X thinks or Y says—with no clear focus. As a general rule, a good summary requires balancing what the original author is saying with the writer’s own focus. Generally speaking, a summary must at once be true to what the original author says while also emphasizing those aspects of what the author says that interest you, the writer. Strik- ing this delicate balance can be tricky, since it means facing two ways at once: both outward (toward the author being summarized) and inward (toward yourself). Ultimately, it means being respectful of others but simultaneously structuring how you summarize them in light of your own text’s central argument.

on the one hand, put yourself in their shoes

To write a really good summary, you must be able to suspend your own beliefs for a time and put yourself in the shoes of someone else. This means playing what the writing theorist Peter Elbow calls the “believing game,” in which you try to inhabit the world- view of those whose conversation you are joining—and whom you are perhaps even disagreeing with—and try to see their argument from their perspective. This ability to temporarily suspend one’s own convictions is a hallmark of good actors, who must convinc- ingly “become” characters whom in real life they may detest. As a writer, when you play the believing game well, readers should not be able to tell whether you agree or disagree with the ideas you are summarizing. If, as a writer, you cannot or will not suspend your own beliefs in this way, you are likely to produce summaries that are

See how Nicholas Carr summarizes the mission of Google on p. 323, ¶24.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 31 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

t w o t w o “ H E R P O I N T I S ”

3 2

so obviously biased that they undermine your credibility with readers. Consider the following summary.

David Zinczenko’s article, “Don’t Blame the Eater,” is nothing more than an angry rant in which he accuses the fast-food com- panies of an evil conspiracy to make people fat. I disagree because these companies have to make money. . . .

If you review what Zinczenko actually says (pp. 462–64), you should immediately see that this summary amounts to an unfair distortion. While Zinczenko does argue that the practices of the fast-food industry have the effect of making people fat, his tone is never “angry,” and he never goes so far as to suggest that the fast-food industry conspires to make people fat with deliberately evil intent. Another tell-tale sign of this writer’s failure to give Zinczenko a fair hearing is the hasty way he abandons the sum- mary after only one sentence and rushes on to his own response. So eager is this writer to disagree that he not only caricatures what Zinczenko says but also gives the article a hasty, super- ficial reading. Granted, there are many writing situations in which, because of matters of proportion, a one- or two-sentence summary is precisely what you want. Indeed, as writing profes- sor Karen Lunsford (whose own research focuses on argument theory) points out, it is standard in the natural and social sci- ences to summarize the work of others quickly, in one pithy sentence or phrase, as in the following example.

Several studies (Crackle, 2012; Pop, 2007; Snap, 2006) suggest that these policies are harmless; moreover, other studies (Dick, 2011; Harry, 2007; Tom, 2005) argue that they even have benefits.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 32 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

The Art of Summarizing

3 3

But if your assignment is to respond in writing to a single author like Zinczenko, you will need to tell your readers enough about his or her argument so they can assess its merits on their own, independent of you. When a writer fails to provide enough summary or to engage in a rigorous or serious enough summary, he or she often falls prey to what we call “the closest cliché syndrome,” in which what gets summarized is not the view the author in question has actually expressed but a familiar cliché that the writer mistakes for the author’s view (sometimes because the writer believes it and mistakenly assumes the author must too). So, for example, Martin Luther King Jr.’s passionate defense of civil disobedi- ence in “Letter from Birmingham Jail” might be summarized not as the defense of political protest that it actually is but as a plea for everyone to “just get along.” Similarly, Zinczenko’s critique of the fast-food industry might be summarized as a call for overweight people to take responsibility for their weight. Whenever you enter into a conversation with others in your writing, then, it is extremely important that you go back to what those others have said, that you study it very closely, and that you not confuse it with something you already believe. A writer who fails to do this ends up essentially conversing with imaginary others who are really only the products of his or her own biases and preconceptions.

on the other hand, know where you are going

Even as writing an effective summary requires you to temporar- ily adopt the worldview of another, it does not mean ignoring

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 33 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

t w o t w o “ H E R P O I N T I S ”

3 4

your own view altogether. Paradoxically, at the same time that summarizing another text requires you to represent fairly what it says, it also requires that your own response exert a quiet influence. A good summary, in other words, has a focus or spin that allows the summary to fit with your own agenda while still being true to the text you are summarizing. Thus if you are writing in response to the essay by Zinczenko, you should be able to see that an essay on the fast-food industry in general will call for a very different summary than will an essay on parenting, corporate regulation, or warning labels. If you want your essay to encompass all three topics, you’ll need to subordinate these three issues to one of Zinczenko’s general claims and then make sure this general claim directly sets up your own argument. For example, suppose you want to argue that it is parents, not fast-food companies, who are to blame for children’s obesity. To set up this argument, you will probably want to compose a summary that highlights what Zinczenko says about the fast- food industry and parents. Consider this sample.

In his article “Don’t Blame the Eater,” David Zinczenko blames the fast-food industry for fueling today’s so-called obesity epidemic, not only by failing to provide adequate warning labels on its high-calorie foods but also by filling the nutritional void in chil- dren’s lives left by their overtaxed working parents. With many parents working long hours and unable to supervise what their children eat, Zinczenko claims, children today are easily victimized by the low-cost, calorie-laden foods that the fast-food chains are all too eager to supply. When he was a young boy, for instance, and his single mother was away at work, he ate at Taco Bell, McDonald’s, and other chains on a regular basis, and ended up overweight. Zinczenko’s hope is that with the new spate of lawsuits against

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 34 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

The Art of Summarizing

3 5

the food industry, other children with working parents will have healthier choices available to them, and that they will not, like him, become obese. In my view, however, it is the parents, and not the food chains, who are responsible for their children’s obesity. While it is true that many of today’s parents work long hours, there are still several things that parents can do to guarantee that their children eat healthy foods. . . .

The summary in the first paragraph succeeds because it points in two directions at once—both toward Zinczenko’s own text and toward the second paragraph, where the writer begins to establish her own argument. The opening sentence gives a sense of Zinczenko’s general argument (that the fast-food chains are to blame for obesity), including his two main supporting claims (about warning labels and parents), but it ends with an empha- sis on the writer’s main concern: parental responsibility. In this way, the summary does justice to Zinczenko’s arguments while also setting up the ensuing critique. This advice—to summarize authors in light of your own arguments—may seem painfully obvious. But writers often summarize a given author on one issue even though their text actually focuses on another. To avoid this problem, you need to make sure that your “they say” and “I say” are well matched. In fact, aligning what they say with what you say is a good thing to work on when revising what you’ve written. Often writers who summarize without regard to their own interests fall prey to what might be called “list summaries,” summaries that simply inventory the original author’s various points but fail to focus those points around any larger overall claim. If you’ve ever heard a talk in which the points were con- nected only by words like “and then,” “also,” and “in addition,”

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 35 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

t w o t w o “ H E R P O I N T I S ”

3 6

you know how such lists can put listeners to sleep—as shown in the figure above. A typical list summary sounds like this.

The author says many different things about his subject. First he says. . . . Then he makes the point that. . . . In addition he says. . . . And then he writes. . . . Also he shows that. . . . And then he says. . . .

It may be boring list summaries like this that give summaries in general a bad name and even prompt some instructors to discourage their students from summarizing at all. In conclusion, writing a good summary means not just repre- senting an author’s view accurately, but doing so in a way that fits your own composition’s larger agenda. On the one hand, it means playing Peter Elbow’s believing game and doing jus- tice to the source; if the summary ignores or misrepresents the

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 36 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

The Art of Summarizing

3 7

source, its bias and unfairness will show. On the other hand, even as it does justice to the source, a summary has to have a slant or spin that prepares the way for your own claims. Once a summary enters your text, you should think of it as joint property—reflecting both the source you are summarizing and your own views.

summarizing satirically

Thus far in this chapter we have argued that, as a general rule, good summaries require a balance between what someone else has said and your own interests as a writer. Now, however, we want to address one exception to this rule: the satiric summary, in which a writer deliberately gives his or her own spin to some- one else’s argument in order to reveal a glaring shortcoming in it. Despite our previous comments that well-crafted summaries generally strike a balance between heeding what someone else has said and your own independent interests, the satiric mode can at times be a very effective form of critique because it lets the summarized argument condemn itself without overt edito- rializing by you, the writer. If you’ve ever watched The Daily Show, you’ll recall that it often merely summarizes silly things political leaders have said or done, letting their words or actions undermine themselves. Consider another example. In September 2001, then- President George W. Bush in a speech to Congress urged the nation’s “continued participation and confidence in the American economy” as a means of recovering from the terror- ist attacks of 9/11. The journalist Allan Sloan criticized this proposal simply by summarizing it, observing that the president

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 37 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

t w o t w o “ H E R P O I N T I S ”

3 8

had equated “patriotism with shopping. Maxing out your credit cards at the mall wasn’t self indulgence, it was a way to get back at Osama bin Laden.” Sloan’s summary leaves no doubt where he stands—he considers Bush’s proposal ridiculous, or at least too simple.

use signal verbs that fit the action

In introducing summaries, try to avoid bland formulas like “she says,” or “they believe.” Though language like this is sometimes serviceable enough, it often fails to reflect accurately what’s been said. In some cases, “he says” may even drain the passion out of the ideas you’re summarizing. We suspect that the habit of ignoring the action in what we summarize stems from the mistaken belief we mentioned earlier that writing is about playing it safe and not making waves, a matter of piling up truths and bits of knowledge rather than a dynamic process of doing things to and with other people. People who wouldn’t hesitate to say “X totally misrepresented,” “attacked,” or “loved” something when chatting with friends will in their writing often opt for far tamer and even less accu- rate phrases like “X said.” But the authors you summarize at the college level seldom simply “say” or “discuss” things; they “urge,” “emphasize,” and “complain about” them. David Zinczenko, for example, doesn’t just say that fast-food companies contribute to obesity; he complains or protests that they do; he challenges, chastises, and indicts those companies. The Declaration of Independence doesn’t just talk about the treatment of the colonies by the British; it protests against it. To do justice to the authors you cite,

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 38 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

The Art of Summarizing

3 9

we recommend that when summarizing—or when introducing a quotation—you use vivid and precise signal verbs as often as possible. Though “he says” or “she believes” will sometimes be the most appropriate language for the occasion, your text will often be more accurate and lively if you tailor your verbs to suit the precise actions you’re describing.

templates for introducing summaries and quotations

j She advocates a radical revision of the juvenile justice system.

j They celebrate the fact that .

j , he admits.

verbs for introducing summaries and quotations

verbs for making a claim

argue insist assert observe believe remind us claim report emphasize suggest

verbs for expressing agreement

acknowledge endorse admire extol agree praise

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 39 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

t w o t w o “ H E R P O I N T I S ”

4 0

verbs for expressing agreement

celebrate the fact that reaffirm corroborate support do not deny verify

verbs for questioning or disagreeing

complain qualify complicate question contend refute contradict reject deny renounce deplore the tendency to repudiate

verbs for making recommendations

advocate implore call for plead demand recommend encourage urge exhort warn

Exercises

1. To get a feel for Peter Elbow’s “believing game,” write a sum- mary of some belief that you strongly disagree with. Then write a summary of the position that you actually hold on this topic. Give both summaries to a classmate or two, and see if they can tell which position you endorse. If you’ve succeeded, they won’t be able to tell.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 40 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

The Art of Summarizing

4 1

2. Write two different summaries of David Zinczenko’s “Don’t Blame the Eater” (pp. 462–64). Write the first one for an essay arguing that, contrary to what Zinczenko claims, there are inexpensive and convenient alternatives to fast-food restaurants. Write the second for an essay that questions whether being overweight is a genuine medical problem rather than a problem of cultural stereotypes. Compare your two summaries: though they are about the same article, they should look very different.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 41 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

4 2

THREE

“as he himself puts it”

The Art of Quoting

H

A key premise of this book is that to launch an effective argument you need to write the arguments of others into your text. One of the best ways to do so is by not only summarizing what “they say,” as suggested in Chapter 2, but by quoting their exact words. Quoting someone else’s words gives a tremendous amount of credibility to your summary and helps ensure that it is fair and accurate. In a sense, then, quotations function as a kind of proof of evidence, saying to readers: “Look, I’m not just making this up. She makes this claim and here it is in her exact words.” Yet many writers make a host of mistakes when it comes to quoting, not the least of which is the failure to quote enough in the first place, if at all. Some writers quote too little— perhaps because they don’t want to bother going back to the original text and looking up the author’s exact words, or because they think they can reconstruct the author’s ideas from memory. At the opposite extreme are writers who so overquote that they end up with texts that are short on commentary of their own—maybe because they lack confidence in their abil- ity to comment on the quotations, or because they don’t fully

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 42 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

The Art of Quoting

4 3

understand what they’ve quoted and therefore have trouble explaining what the quotations mean. But the main problem with quoting arises when writers assume that quotations speak for themselves. Because the meaning of a quotation is obvious to them, many writers assume that this meaning will also be obvious to their readers, when often it is not. Writers who make this mistake think that their job is done when they’ve chosen a quotation and inserted it into their text. They draft an essay, slap in a few quotations, and whammo, they’re done. Such writers fail to see that quoting means more than sim- ply enclosing what “they say” in quotation marks. In a way, quotations are orphans: words that have been taken from their original contexts and that need to be integrated into their new textual surroundings. This chapter offers two key ways to produce this sort of integration: (1) by choosing quotations wisely, with an eye to how well they support a particular part of your text, and (2) by surrounding every major quotation with a frame explain- ing whose words they are, what the quotation means, and how the quotation relates to your own text. The point we want to emphasize is that quoting what “they say” must always be con- nected with what you say.

quote relevant passages

Before you can select appropriate quotations, you need to have a sense of what you want to do with them—that is, how they will support your text at the particular point where you insert them. Be careful not to select quotations just for the sake of

See how one author connects what “they say” to what he wants to say, pp. 401, 403, ¶7–8.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 43 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

t h r e e t h r e e “ A S H E H I M S E L F P U T S I T ”

4 4

demonstrating that you’ve read the author’s work; you need to make sure they support your own argument. However, finding relevant quotations is not always easy. In fact, sometimes quotations that were initially relevant to your argument, or to a key point in it, become less so as your text changes during the process of writing and revising. Given the evolving and messy nature of writing, you may sometimes think that you’ve found the perfect quotation to support your argu- ment, only to discover later on, as your text develops, that your focus has changed and the quotation no longer works. It can be somewhat misleading, then, to speak of finding your thesis and finding relevant quotations as two separate steps, one coming after the other. When you’re deeply engaged in the writing and revising process, there is usually a great deal of back-and-forth between your argument and any quotations you select.

frame every quotation

Finding relevant quotations is only part of your job; you also need to present them in a way that makes their relevance and meaning clear to your readers. Since quotations do not speak for themselves, you need to build a frame around them in which you do that speaking for them. Quotations that are inserted into a text without such a frame are sometimes called “dangling” quotations for the way they’re left dangling without any explanation. One teacher we’ve worked with, Steve Benton, calls these “hit-and-run” quotations, likening them to car accidents in which the driver speeds away and avoids taking responsibility for the dent in your fender or the smashed taillights, as in the figure that follows.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 44 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

The Art of Quoting

4 5

Here’s a typical hit-and-run quotation by a writer respond- ing to an essay by the feminist philosopher Susan Bordo, who laments that media pressures on young women to diet are spreading to previously isolated regions of the world like the Fiji islands.

Susan Bordo writes about women and dieting. “Fiji is just one example. Until television was introduced in 1995, the islands had no reported cases of eating disorders. In 1998, three years after programs from the United States and Britain began broadcasting there, 62 percent of the girls surveyed reported dieting.” I think Bordo is right. Another point Bordo makes is that. . . .

Since this writer fails to introduce the quotation ade- quately or explain why he finds it worth quoting, read- ers will have a hard time reconstructing what Bordo argued. Besides neglecting to say who Bordo is or even that the quoted words are hers, the writer does not explain how her words connect with anything he is saying or even what she says that he thinks is so “right.” He simply abandons the quotation in his haste to zoom on to another point.

See how Anne-Marie Slaughter introduces a long quote on p. 682, ¶13.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 45 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

t h r e e t h r e e “ A S H E H I M S E L F P U T S I T ”

4 6

To adequately frame a quotation, you need to insert it into what we like to call a “quotation sandwich,” with the statement introducing it serving as the top slice of bread and the explana- tion following it serving as the bottom slice. The introductory or lead-in claims should explain who is speaking and set up what the quotation says; the follow-up statements should explain why you consider the quotation to be important and what you take it to say.

templates for introducing quotations

j X states, “not all steroids should be banned from sports.”

j As the prominent philosopher X puts it, “ .”

j According to X, “ .”

j X himself writes, “ .”

j In her book, , X maintains that “ .”

j Writing in the journal Commentary, X complains that “ .”

j In X’s view, “ .”

j X agrees when she writes, “ .”

j X disagrees when he writes, “ .”

j X complicates matters further when she writes, “ .”

templates for explaining quotations

The one piece of advice about quoting that our students say they find most helpful is to get in the habit of following every

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 46 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

The Art of Quoting

4 7

major quotation by explaining what it means, using a template like one of the ones below.

j Basically, X is warning that the proposed solution will only make

the problem worse.

j In other words, X believes .

j In making this comment, X urges us to .

j X is corroborating the age-old adage that .

j X’s point is that .

j The essence of X’s argument is that .

When offering such explanations, it is important to use lan- guage that accurately reflects the spirit of the quoted passage. It is quite serviceable to write “Bordo states” or “asserts” in introducing the quotation about Fiji. But given the fact that Bordo is clearly alarmed by the extension of the media’s reach to Fiji, it is far more accurate to use language that reflects her alarm: “Bordo is alarmed that” or “is disturbed by” or “complains.” Consider, for example, how the earlier passage on Bordo might be revised using some of these moves.

The feminist philosopher Susan Bordo deplores Western media’s obsession with female thinness and dieting. Her basic complaint is that increasing numbers of women across the globe are being led to see themselves as fat and in need of a diet. Citing the islands of Fiji as a case in point, Bordo notes that “until television was introduced in 1995, the islands had no reported cases of eating disorders. In 1998, three years after programs from the United States and Britain

See pp. 39–40 for a list of action verbs for summarizing what others say.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 47 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

t h r e e t h r e e “ A S H E H I M S E L F P U T S I T ”

4 8

began broadcasting there, 62 percent of the girls surveyed reported dieting” (149–50). Bordo’s point is that the Western cult of dieting is spreading even to remote places across the globe. Ultimately, Bordo complains, the culture of dieting will find you, regardless of where you live. Bordo’s observations ring true to me because, now that I think about it, many women I know, regardless of where they are from, worry about their weight. . . .

This framing of the quotation not only better integrates Bordo’s words into the writer’s text, but also serves to demonstrate the writer’s interpretation of what Bordo is saying. While “the femi- nist philosopher” and “Bordo notes” provide information that readers need to know, the sentences that follow the quotation build a bridge between Bordo’s words and those of the writer. The reference to 62 percent of Fijian girls dieting is no longer an inert statistic (as it was in the flawed passage presented earlier) but a quantitative example of how “the Western cult of dieting is spreading . . . across the globe.” Just as impor- tant, these sentences explain what Bordo is saying in the writ- er’s own words—and thereby make clear that the quotation is being used purposefully to set up the writer’s own argument and has not been stuck in just for padding the essay or the works-cited list.

blend the author’s words with your own

The above framing material also works well because it accu- rately represents Bordo’s words while giving those words the writer’s own spin. Notice how the passage refers several times

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 48 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

The Art of Quoting

4 9

to the key concept of dieting, and how it echoes Bordo’s refer- ences to “television” and to U.S. and British “broadcasting” by referring to “culture,” which is further specified as “Western.” Instead of simply repeating Bordo word for word, the follow-up sentences echo just enough of her language while still moving the discussion in the writer’s own direction. In effect, the fram- ing creates a kind of hybrid mix of Bordo’s words and those of the writer.

can you overanalyze a quotation?

But is it possible to overexplain a quotation? And how do you know when you’ve explained a quotation thoroughly enough? After all, not all quotations require the same amount of explan- atory framing, and there are no hard-and-fast rules for knowing how much explanation any quotation needs. As a general rule, the most explanatory framing is needed for quotations that may be hard for readers to process: quotations that are long and complex, that are filled with details or jargon, or that contain hidden complexities. And yet, though the particular situation usually dictates when and how much to explain a quotation, we will still offer one piece of advice: when in doubt, go for it. It is better to risk being overly explicit about what you take a quotation to mean than to leave the quotation dangling and your readers in doubt. Indeed, we encourage you to provide such explanatory framing even when writing to an audience that you know to be familiar with the author being quoted and able to interpret your quotations on their own. Even in such cases, readers need to see how you inter- pret the quotation, since words—especially those of controversial figures—can be interpreted in various ways and used to support

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 49 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

t h r e e t h r e e “ A S H E H I M S E L F P U T S I T ”

5 0

different, sometimes opposing, agendas. Your readers need to see what you make of the material you’ve quoted, if only to be sure that your reading of the material and theirs is on the same page.

how not to introduce quotations

We want to conclude this chapter by surveying some ways not to introduce quotations. Although some writers do so, you should not introduce quotations by saying something like “Orwell asserts an idea that” or “A quote by Shakespeare says.” Introductory phrases like these are both redundant and mislead- ing. In the first example, you could write either “Orwell asserts that” or “Orwell’s assertion is that,” rather than redundantly combining the two. The second example misleads readers, since it is the writer who is doing the quoting, not Shakespeare (as “a quote by Shakespeare” implies). The templates in this book will help you avoid such mis- takes. Once you have mastered templates like “as X puts it,” or “in X’s own words,” you probably won’t even have to think about them—and will be free to focus on the challenging ideas that templates help you frame.

Exercises

1. Find a published piece of writing that quotes something that “they say.” How has the writer integrated the quotation into his or her own text? How has he or she introduced the quota- tion, and what, if anything, has the writer said to explain it and tie it to his or her own text? Based on what you’ve read in this chapter, are there any changes you would suggest?

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 50 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

The Art of Quoting

5 1

2. Look at something you have written for one of your classes. Have you quoted any sources? If so, how have you integrated the quotation into your own text? How have you introduced it? Explained what it means? Indicated how it relates to your text? If you haven’t done all these things, revise your text to do so, perhaps using the Templates for Introducing Quotations (p. 46) and Explaining Quotations (pp. 46–47). If you’ve not written anything with quotations, try revising some academic text you’ve written to do so.

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 51 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

03_GRA_93584_part1_017_052.indd 52 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

2 H

“I SAY”

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 53 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 54 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

5 5

FOUR

“yes / no / okay, but”

Three Ways to Respond

H

The first three chapters of this book discuss the “they say” stage of writing, in which you devote your attention to the views of some other person or group. In this chapter we move to the “I say” stage, in which you offer your own argument as a response to what “they” have said. Moving to the “I say” stage can be daunting in academia, where it often may seem that you need to be an expert in a field to have an argument at all. Many students have told us that they have trouble entering some of the high-powered conversations that take place in college or graduate school because they do not know enough about the topic at hand, or because, they say, they simply are not “smart enough.” Yet often these same students, when given a chance to study in depth the contribution that some scholar has made in a given field, will turn around and say things like “I can see where she is coming from, how she makes her case by building on what other scholars have said. Perhaps had I studied the situation longer I could have come up with a similar argument.” What these students came to realize is that good arguments are based not on knowledge that only a special class of experts has access to, but on everyday habits

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 55 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

f o u r f o u r “ Y E S / N O / O K A Y , B U T ”

5 6

of mind that can be isolated, identified, and used by almost anyone. Though there’s certainly no substitute for expertise and for knowing as much as possible about one’s topic, the arguments that finally win the day are built, as the title of this chapter suggests, on some very basic rhetorical patterns that most of us use on a daily basis. There are a great many ways to respond to others’ ideas, but this chapter concentrates on the three most common and recognizable ways: agreeing, disagreeing, or some combination of both. Although each way of responding is open to endless variation, we focus on these three because readers come to any text needing to learn fairly quickly where the writer stands, and they do this by placing the writer on a mental map consisting of a few familiar options: the writer agrees with those he or she is responding to, disagrees with them, or presents some combination of both agreeing and disagreeing. When writers take too long to declare their position relative to views they’ve summarized or quoted, readers get frustrated, wondering, “Is this guy agreeing or disagreeing? Is he for what this other person has said, against it, or what?” For this reason, this chapter’s advice applies to reading as well as to writing. Especially with difficult texts, you need not only to find the position the writer is responding to—the “they say”—but also to determine whether the writer is agreeing with it, challenging it, or some mixture of the two.

only three ways to respond?

Perhaps you’ll worry that fitting your own response into one of these three categories will force you to oversimplify your argu- ment or lessen its complexity, subtlety, or originality. This is

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 56 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Three Ways to Respond

5 7

certainly a serious concern for academics who are rightly skepti- cal of writing that is simplistic and reductive. We would argue, however, that the more complex and subtle your argument is, and the more it departs from the conventional ways people think, the more your readers will need to be able to place it on their mental map in order to process the complex details you present. That is, the complexity, subtlety, and originality of your response are more likely to stand out and be noticed if readers have a baseline sense of where you stand relative to any ideas you’ve cited. As you move through this chapter, we hope you’ll agree that the forms of agreeing, disagreeing, and both agreeing and disagreeing that we discuss, far from being simplistic or one-dimensional, are able to accommodate a high degree of creative, complex thought. It is always a good tactic to begin your response not by launching directly into a mass of details but by stating clearly whether you agree, disagree, or both, using a direct, no-nonsense formula such as: “I agree,” “I disagree,” or “I am of two minds. I agree that , but I cannot agree that .” Once you have offered one of these straight- forward statements (or one of the many variations dis- cussed below), readers will have a strong grasp of your position and then be able to appreciate the complica- tions you go on to offer as your response unfolds. Still, you may object that these three basic ways of respond- ing don’t cover all the options—that they ignore interpretive or analytical responses, for example. In other words, you might think that when you interpret a literary work you don’t necessarily agree or disagree with anything but simply explain the work’s meaning, style, or structure. Many essays about literature and the arts, it might be said, take this form—they interpret a work’s meaning, thus rendering matters of agreeing or disagreeing irrelevant.

See p. 21 for suggestions on previewing where you stand.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 57 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

f o u r f o u r “ Y E S / N O / O K A Y , B U T ”

5 8

We would argue, however, that the most interesting inter- pretations in fact tend to be those that agree, disagree, or both—that instead of being offered solo, the best interpreta- tions take strong stands relative to other interpretations. In fact, there would be no reason to offer an interpretation of a work of literature or art unless you were responding to the interpre- tations or possible interpretations of others. Even when you point out features or qualities of an artistic work that others have not noticed, you are implicitly disagreeing with what those interpreters have said by pointing out that they missed or overlooked something that, in your view, is important. In any effective interpretation, then, you need not only to state what you yourself take the work of art to mean but to do so relative to the interpretations of other readers—be they pro- fessional scholars, teachers, classmates, or even hypothetical readers (as in, “Although some readers might think that this poem is about , it is in fact about ”).

disagree—and explain why

Disagreeing may seem like one of the simpler moves a writer can make, and it is often the first thing people associate with critical thinking. Disagreeing can also be the easiest way to generate an essay: find something you can disagree with in what has been said or might be said about your topic, summarize it, and argue with it. But disagreement in fact poses hidden challenges. You need to do more than simply assert that you disagree with a par- ticular view; you also have to offer persuasive reasons why you disagree. After all, disagreeing means more than adding “not” to what someone else has said, more than just saying, “Although they say women’s rights are improving, I say women’s rights

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 58 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Three Ways to Respond

5 9

are not improving.” Such a response merely contradicts the view it responds to and fails to add anything interesting or new. To turn it into an argument, you need to give reasons to support what you say: because another’s argument fails to take relevant factors into account; because it is based on faulty or incomplete evidence; because it rests on questionable assump- tions; or because it uses flawed logic, is contradictory, or overlooks what you take to be the real issue. To move the conversation forward (and, indeed, to justify your very act of writing), you need to demonstrate that you have something to contribute. You can even disagree by making what we call the “duh” move, in which you disagree not with the position itself but with the assumption that it is a new or stunning revelation. Here is an example of such a move, used to open an essay on the state of American schools.

According to a recent report by some researchers at Stanford Uni- versity, high school students with college aspirations “often lack crucial information on applying to college and on succeeding aca- demically once they get there.” Well, duh. . . . It shouldn’t take a Stanford research team to tell us that when it comes to “succeeding academically,” many students don’t have a clue.

Gerald Graff, “Trickle-Down Obfuscation”

Like all of the other moves discussed in this book, the “duh” move can be tailored to meet the needs of almost any writing situation. If you find the expression “duh” too brash to use with your intended audience, you can always dispense with the term itself and write something like “It is true that ; but we already knew that.”

See p. 582, ¶2 to see two authors disagree and explain why.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 59 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

f o u r f o u r “ Y E S / N O / O K A Y , B U T ”

6 0

templates for disagreeing, with reasons

j X is mistaken because she overlooks recent fossil discoveries in

the South.

j X’s claim that rests upon the questionable assumption

that .

j I disagree with X’s view that because, as recent

research has shown, .

j X contradicts herself/can’t have it both ways. On the one

hand, she argues . On the other hand, she also

says .

j By focusing on , X overlooks the deeper problem

of .

You can also disagree by making what we call the “twist it” move, in which you agree with the evidence that someone else has presented but show through a twist of logic that this evidence actually supports your own, contrary position. For example:

X argues for stricter gun control legislation, saying that the crime rate is on the rise and that we need to restrict the circulation of guns. I agree that the crime rate is on the rise, but that’s precisely why I oppose stricter gun control legislation. We need to own guns to protect ourselves against criminals.

In this example of the “twist it” move, the writer agrees with X’s claim that the crime rate is on the rise but then argues that this increasing crime rate is in fact a valid reason for opposing gun control legislation.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 60 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Three Ways to Respond

6 1

At times you might be reluctant to express disagreement, for any number of reasons—not wanting to be unpleasant, to hurt someone’s feelings, or to make yourself vulnerable to being disagreed with in return. One of these reasons may in fact explain why the conference speaker we described at the start of Chapter 1 avoided mentioning the disagreement he had with other scholars until he was provoked to do so in the discussion that followed his talk. As much as we understand such fears of conflict and have experienced them ourselves, we nevertheless believe it is better to state our disagreements in frank yet considerate ways than to deny them. After all, suppressing disagreements doesn’t make them go away; it only pushes them underground, where they can fester in private unchecked. Nevertheless, disagreements do not need to take the form of personal put-downs. Further- more, there is usually no reason to take issue with every aspect of someone else’s views. You can single out for criticism only those aspects of what someone else has said that are troubling, and then agree with the rest—although such an approach, as we will see later in this chapter, leads to the somewhat more complicated terrain of both agreeing and disagreeing at the same time.

agree—but with a difference

Like disagreeing, agreeing is less simple than it may appear. Just as you need to avoid simply contradicting views you disagree with, you also need to do more than simply echo views you agree with. Even as you’re agreeing, it’s important to bring something new and fresh to the table, adding something that makes you a valuable participant in the conversation.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 61 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

f o u r f o u r “ Y E S / N O / O K A Y , B U T ”

6 2

There are many moves that enable you to contribute some- thing of your own to a conversation even as you agree with what someone else has said. You may point out some unno- ticed evidence or line of reasoning that supports X’s claims that X herself hadn’t mentioned. You may cite some corroborating personal experience, or a situation not mentioned by X that her views help readers understand. If X’s views are particularly challenging or esoteric, what you bring to the table could be an accessible translation—an explanation for readers not already in the know. In other words, your text can usefully contribute to the conversation simply by pointing out unnoticed implications or explaining something that needs to be better understood. Whatever mode of agreement you choose, the important thing is to open up some difference or contrast between your position and the one you’re agreeing with rather than simply parroting what it says.

templates for agreeing

j I agree that diversity in the student body is educationally valuable

because my experience at Central University confirms it.

j X is surely right about because, as she may not be

aware, recent studies have shown that .

j X’s theory of is extremely useful because it sheds

light on the difficult problem of .

j Those unfamiliar with this school of thought may be interested

to know that it basically boils down to .

Some writers avoid the practice of agreeing almost as much as others avoid disagreeing. In a culture like America’s that prizes

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 62 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Three Ways to Respond

6 3

originality, independence, and competitive individualism, writ- ers sometimes don’t like to admit that anyone else has made the same point, seemingly beating them to the punch. In our view, however, as long as you can support a view taken by someone else without merely restating what he or she has said, there is no reason to worry about being “unoriginal.” Indeed, there is good reason to rejoice when you agree with others since those others can lend credibility to your argument. While you don’t want to present yourself as a mere copycat of someone else’s views, you also need to avoid sounding like a lone voice in the wilderness. But do be aware that whenever you agree with one person’s view, you are likely disagreeing with someone else’s. It is hard to align yourself with one position without at least implicitly positioning yourself against others. The psychologist Carol Gilligan does just that in an essay in which she agrees with scientists who argue that the human brain is “hard-wired” for cooperation, but in so doing aligns herself against any- one who believes that the brain is wired for selfishness and competition.

These findings join a growing convergence of evidence across the human sciences leading to a revolutionary shift in consciousness. . . . If cooperation, typically associated with altruism and self- sacrifice, sets off the same signals of delight as pleasures commonly associated with hedonism and self-indulgence; if the opposition between selfish and selfless, self vs. relationship biologically makes no sense, then a new paradigm is necessary to reframe the very terms of the conversation.

Carol Gilligan, “Sisterhood Is Pleasurable: A Quiet Revolution in Psychology”

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 63 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

f o u r f o u r “ Y E S / N O / O K A Y , B U T ”

6 4

In agreeing with some scientists that “the opposition between selfish and selfless . . . makes no sense,” Gilligan implicitly disagrees with anyone who thinks the opposition does make sense. Basically, what Gilligan says could be boiled down to a template.

j I agree that , a point that needs emphasizing since

so many people still believe .

j If group X is right that , as I think they are, then we

need to reassess the popular assumption that .

What such templates allow you to do, then, is to agree with one view while challenging another—a move that leads into the domain of agreeing and disagreeing simultaneously.

agree and disagree simultaneously

This last option is often our favorite way of responding. One thing we particularly like about agreeing and disagreeing simul- taneously is that it helps us get beyond the kind of “is too” / “is not” exchanges that often characterize the disputes of young children and the more polarized shouting matches of talk radio and TV.

templates for agreeing and disagreeing simultaneously

“Yes and no.” “Yes, but . . . ” “Although I agree up to a point, I still insist . . . ” These are just some of the ways you can make your argument complicated and nuanced while maintaining a clear,

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 64 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Three Ways to Respond

6 5

reader-friendly framework. The parallel structure—“yes and no”; “on the one hand I agree, on the other I disagree”—enables readers to place your argument on that map of positions we spoke of earlier in this chapter while still keeping your argument sufficiently complex. Another aspect we like about this option is that it can be tipped subtly toward agreement or disagreement, depending on where you lay your stress. If you want to stress the disagreement end of the spectrum, you would use a template like the one below.

j Although I agree with X up to a point, I cannot accept his over-

riding assumption that religion is no longer a major force today.

Conversely, if you want to stress your agreement more than your disagreement, you would use a template like this one.

j Although I disagree with much that X says, I fully endorse his

final conclusion that .

The first template above might be called a “yes, but . . . ” move, the second a “no, but . . . ” move. Other versions include the following.

j Though I concede that , I still insist that .

j X is right that , but she seems on more dubious ground

when she claims that .

j While X is probably wrong when she claims that , she

is right that .

j Whereas X provides ample evidence that , Y and

Z’s research on and convinces me that

instead.

Clive Thompson says “yes, but” to an argument that technology rewires our brains for the worse, p. 355, ¶34.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 65 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

f o u r f o u r “ Y E S / N O / O K A Y , B U T ”

6 6

Another classic way to agree and disagree at the same time is to make what we call an “I’m of two minds” or a “mixed feelings” move.

j I’m of two minds about X’s claim that . On the one

hand, I agree that . On the other hand, I’m not sure

if .

j My feelings on the issue are mixed. I do support X’s position

that , but I find Y’s argument about and

Z’s research on to be equally persuasive.

This move can be especially useful if you are responding to new or particularly challenging work and are as yet unsure where you stand. It also lends itself well to the kind of speculative investigation in which you weigh a position’s pros and cons rather than come out decisively either for or against. But again, as we suggest earlier, whether you are agreeing, disagreeing, or both agreeing and disagreeing, you need to be as clear as pos- sible, and making a frank statement that you are ambivalent is one way to be clear.

is being undecided okay?

Nevertheless, writers often have as many concerns about expressing ambivalence as they do about expressing disagree- ment or agreement. Some worry that by expressing ambivalence they will come across as evasive, wishy-washy, or unsure of themselves. Others worry that their ambivalence will end up confusing readers who require decisive clear-cut conclusions.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 66 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Three Ways to Respond

6 7

The truth is that in some cases these worries are legitimate. At times ambivalence can frustrate readers, leaving them with the feeling that you failed in your obligation to offer the guidance they expect from writers. At other times, however, acknowledging that a clear-cut resolution of an issue is impos- sible can demonstrate your sophistication as a writer. In an academic culture that values complex thought, forthrightly declaring that you have mixed feelings can be impressive, especially after having ruled out the one-dimensional positions on your issue taken by others in the conversation. Ultimately, then, how ambivalent you end up being comes down to a judg- ment call based on different readers’ responses to your drafts, on your knowledge of your audience, and on the challenges of your particular argument and situation.

Exercises

1. Read one of the essays in the back of this book or on theysayiblog.com, identifying those places where the author agrees with others, disagrees, or both.

2. Write an essay responding in some way to the essay that you worked with in the preceding exercise. You’ll want to summarize and/or quote some of the author’s ideas and make clear whether you’re agreeing, disagreeing, or both agreeing and disagreeing with what he or she says. Remember that there are templates in this book that can help you get started; see Chapters 1–3 for templates that will help you represent other people’s ideas, and Chapter 4 for templates that will get you started with your response.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 67 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

6 8

FIVE

“and yet”

Distinguishing What You Say

from What They Say

H

If good academic writing involves putting yourself into dialogue with others, it is extremely important that readers be able to tell at every point when you are expressing your own view and when you are stating someone else’s. This chapter takes up the problem of moving from what they say to what you say without confusing readers about who is saying what.

determine who is saying what in the texts you read

Before examining how to signal who is saying what in your own writing, let’s look at how to recognize such signals when they appear in the texts you read—an especially important skill when it comes to the challenging works assigned in school. Frequently, when students have trouble understanding diffi- cult texts, it is not just because the texts contain unfamiliar ideas or words, but because the texts rely on subtle clues to let

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 68 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Distinguishing What You Say from What They Say

6 9

readers know when a particular view should be attributed to the writer or to someone else. Especially with texts that pres- ent a true dialogue of perspectives, readers need to be alert to the often subtle markers that indicate whose voice the writer is speaking in. Consider how the social critic and educator Gregory Mant- sios uses these “voice markers,” as they might be called, to distinguish the different perspectives in his essay on America’s class inequalities.

“We are all middle-class,” or so it would seem. Our national con- sciousness, as shaped in large part by the media and our political leadership, provides us with a picture of ourselves as a nation of prosperity and opportunity with an ever expanding middle-class life-style. As a result, our class differences are muted and our col- lective character is homogenized. Yet class divisions are real and arguably the most significant factor in determining both our very being in the world and the nature of the society we live in.

Gregory Mantsios, “Rewards and Opportunities: The Politics and Economics of Class in the U.S.”

Although Mantsios makes it look easy, he is actually making several sophisticated rhetorical moves here that help him dis- tinguish the common view he opposes from his own position. In the opening sentence, for instance, the phrase “or so it would seem” shows that Mantsios does not necessarily agree with the view he is describing, since writers normally don’t pres- ent views they themselves hold as ones that only “seem” to be true. Mantsios also places this opening view in quotation marks to signal that it is not his own. He then further distances

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 69 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

f i v e f i v e “ A N D Y E T ”

7 0

himself from the belief being summarized in the opening para- graph by attributing it to “our national consciousness, as shaped in large part by the media and our political leadership,” and then further attributing to this “consciousness” a negative, undesirable “result”: one in which “our class differences” get “muted” and “our collective character” gets “homogenized,” stripped of its diversity and distinctness. Hence, even before Mantsios has declared his own position in the second para- graph, readers can get a pretty solid sense of where he probably stands. Furthermore, the second paragraph opens with the word “yet,” indicating that Mantsios is now shifting to his own view (as opposed to the common view he has thus far been describ- ing). Even the parallelism he sets up between the first and second paragraphs—between the first paragraph’s claim that class differences do not exist and the second paragraph’s claim that they do—helps throw into sharp relief the differences between the two voices. Finally, Mantsios’s use of a direct, authoritative, declarative tone in the second paragraph also suggests a switch in voice. Although he does not use the words “I say” or “I argue,” he clearly identifies the view he holds by presenting it not as one that merely seems to be true or that others tell us is true, but as a view that is true or, as Mantsios puts it, “real.” Paying attention to these voice markers is an important aspect of reading comprehension. Readers who fail to notice these markers often take an author’s summaries of what some- one else believes to be an expression of what the author himself or herself believes. Thus when we teach Mantsios’s essay, some students invariably come away thinking that the statement “we are all middle-class” is Mantsios’s own position rather than the perspective he is opposing, failing to see that in writing these

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 70 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Distinguishing What You Say from What They Say

7 1

words Mantsios acts as a kind of ventriloquist, mimicking what others say rather than directly expressing what he himself is thinking. To see how important such voice markers are, consider what the Mantsios passage looks like if we remove them.

We are all middle-class. . . . We are a nation of prosperity and opportunity with an ever expanding middle-class life-style. . . . Class divisions are real and arguably the most significant factor in determining both our very being in the world and the nature of the society we live in.

In contrast to the careful delineation between voices in Mant sios’s original text, this unmarked version leaves it hard to tell where his voice begins and the voices of others end. With the markers removed, readers cannot tell that “We are all middle-class” represents a view the author opposes, and that “Class divisions are real” represents what the author himself believes. Indeed, without the markers, especially the “Yet,” readers might well miss the fact that the second paragraph’s claim that “Class divisions are real” contradicts the first paragraph’s claim that “We are all middle-class.”

templates for signaling who is saying what in your own writing

To avoid confusion in your own writing, make sure that at every point your readers can clearly tell who is saying what. To do so, you can use as voice-identifying devices many of the templates presented in previous chapters.

See how Marion Nestle begins with a view and then refutes it on p. 497, ¶2.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 71 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

f i v e f i v e “ A N D Y E T ”

7 2

j Although X makes the best possible case for universal,

government-funded health care, I am not persuaded.

j My view, however, contrary to what X has argued, is that

.

j Adding to X’s argument, I would point out that .

j According to both X and Y, .

j Politicians, X argues, should .

j Most athletes will tell you that .

but i’ve been told not to use “i”

Notice that the first three templates above use the first-person “I” or “we,” as do many of the templates in this book, thereby contradicting the common advice about avoiding the first person in academic writing. Although you may have been told that the “I” word encourages subjective, self-indulgent opinions rather than well-grounded arguments, we believe that texts using “I” can be just as well supported—or just as self-indulgent—as those that don’t. For us, well-supported argu- ments are grounded in persuasive reasons and evidence, not in the use or nonuse of any particular pronouns. Furthermore, if you consistently avoid the first person in your writing, you will probably have trouble making the key move addressed in this chapter: differentiating your views from those of others, or even offering your own views in the first place. But don’t just take our word for it. See for yourself how freely the first person is used by the writers quoted in this book, and by the writers assigned in your courses.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 72 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Distinguishing What You Say from What They Say

7 3

Nevertheless, certain occasions may warrant avoiding the first person and writing, for example, that “she is correct” instead of “I think that she is correct.” Since it can be monotonous to read an unvarying series of “I” statements (“I believe . . . I think . . . I argue”), it is a good idea to mix first-person assertions with ones like the following.

j X is right that certain common patterns can be found in the

communities .

j The evidence shows that .

j X’s assertion that does not fit the facts.

j Anyone familiar with should agree that .

One might even follow Mantsios’s lead, as in the following template.

j But are real, and are arguably the most significant

factor in .

On the whole, however, academic writing today, even in the sciences and social sciences, makes use of the first person fairly liberally.

another trick for identifying who is speaking

To alert readers about whose perspective you are describing at any given moment, you don’t always have to use overt voice markers like “X argues” followed by a summary of the argu- ment. Instead, you can alert readers about whose voice you’re

See pp. 361–71 for an example of the way a student essay uses the first person.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 73 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

f i v e f i v e “ A N D Y E T ”

7 4

speaking in by embedding a reference to X’s argument in your own sentences. Hence, instead of writing:

Liberals believe that cultural differences need to be respected. I have a problem with this view, however.

you might write:

I have a problem with what liberals call cultural differences.

There is a major problem with the liberal doctrine of so-called cultural differences.

You can also embed references to something you yourself have previously said. So instead of writing two cumbersome sen- tences like:

Earlier in this chapter we coined the term “voice markers.” We would argue that such markers are extremely important for reading comprehension.

you might write:

We would argue that “voice markers,” as we identified them earlier, are extremely important for reading comprehension.

Embedded references like these allow you to economize your train of thought and refer to other perspectives without any major interruption.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 74 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Distinguishing What You Say from What They Say

7 5

templates for embedding voice markers

j X overlooks what I consider an important point about cultural

differences.

j My own view is that what X insists is a is in fact

a .

j I wholeheartedly endorse what X calls .

j These conclusions, which X discusses in , add weight

to the argument that .

When writers fail to use voice-marking devices like the ones discussed in this chapter, their summaries of others’ views tend to become confused with their own ideas—and vice versa. When readers cannot tell if you are summarizing your own views or endorsing a certain phrase or label, they have to stop and think: “Wait. I thought the author disagreed with this claim. Has she actually been asserting this view all along?” or “Hmmm, I thought she would have objected to this kind of phrase. Is she actually endorsing it?” Getting in the habit of using voice markers will keep you from confusing your readers and help alert you to similar markers in the challenging texts you read.

Exercises

1. To see how one writer signals when she is asserting her own views and when she is summarizing those of someone else, read the following passage by the social historian Julie Charlip. As you do so, identify those spots where Charlip refers to the views of others and the signal phrases she uses to distinguish her views from theirs.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 75 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

f i v e f i v e “ A N D Y E T ”

7 6

Marx and Engels wrote: “Society as a whole is more and more split- ting up into two great hostile camps, into two great classes directly facing each other—the bourgeoisie and the proletariat” (10). If only that were true, things might be more simple. But in late twentieth-century America, it seems that society is splitting more and more into a plethora of class factions—the working class, the working poor, lower-middle class, upper-middle class, lower uppers, and upper uppers. I find myself not knowing what class I’m from. In my days as a newspaper reporter, I once asked a sociology pro- fessor what he thought about the reported shrinking of the middle class. Oh, it’s not the middle class that’s disappearing, he said, but the working class. His definition: if you earn thirty thousand dollars a year working in an assembly plant, come home from work, open a beer and watch the game, you are working class; if you earn twenty thousand dollars a year as a school teacher, come home from work to a glass of white wine and PBS, you are middle class. How do we define class? Is it an issue of values, lifestyle, taste? Is it the kind of work you do, your relationship to the means of production? Is it a matter of how much money you earn? Are we allowed to choose? In this land of supposed classlessness, where we don’t have the tradition of English society to keep us in our places, how do we know where we really belong? The average American will tell you he or she is “middle class.” I’m sure that’s what my father would tell you. But I always felt that we were in some no man’s land, suspended between classes, sharing similari- ties with some and recognizing sharp, exclusionary differences from others. What class do I come from? What class am I in now? As an historian, I seek the answers to these questions in the specificity of my past.

Julie Charlip, “A Real Class Act: Searching for Identity in the Classless Society”

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 76 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Distinguishing What You Say from What They Say

7 7

2. Study a piece of your own writing to see how many perspec- tives you account for and how well you distinguish your own voice from those you are summarizing. Consider the following questions:

a. How many perspectives do you engage? b. What other perspectives might you include? c. How do you distinguish your views from the other views

you summarize? d. Do you use clear voice-signaling phrases? e. What options are available to you for clarifying who is

saying what? f. Which of these options are best suited for this particular

text?

If you find that you do not include multiple views or clearly distinguish between others’ views and your own, revise your text to do so.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 77 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

7 8

SIX

“skeptics may object”

Planting a Naysayer in Your Text

H

The writer Jane Tompkins describes a pattern that repeats itself whenever she writes a book or an article. For the first couple of weeks when she sits down to write, things go relatively well. But then in the middle of the night, several weeks into the writing process, she’ll wake up in a cold sweat, suddenly real- izing that she has overlooked some major criticism that readers will surely make against her ideas. Her first thought, invariably, is that she will have to give up on the project, or that she will have to throw out what she’s written thus far and start over. Then she realizes that “this moment of doubt and panic is where my text really begins.” She then revises what she’s written in a way that incorporates the criticisms she’s anticipated, and her text becomes stronger and more interesting as a result. This little story contains an important lesson for all writers, experienced and inexperienced alike. It suggests that even though most of us are upset at the idea of someone criticizing our work, such criticisms can actually work to our advantage. Although it’s naturally tempting to ignore criticism of our ideas, doing so may in fact be a big mistake, since our writing improves when we not only listen to these objections but give them an explicit hearing

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 78 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Planting a Naysayer in Your Text

7 9

in our writing. Indeed, no single device more quickly improves a piece of writing than planting a naysayer in the text—saying, for example, that “although some readers may object” to something in your argument, you “would reply that .”

anticipate objections

But wait, you say. Isn’t the advice to incorporate critical views a recipe for destroying your credibility and undermining your argument? Here you are, trying to say something that will hold up, and we want you to tell readers all the negative things someone might say against you? Exactly. We are urging you to tell readers what others might say against you, but our point is that doing so will actu- ally enhance your credibility, not undermine it. As we argue throughout this book, writing well does not mean piling up uncontroversial truths in a vacuum; it means engaging others in a dialogue or debate—not only by opening your text with a summary of what others have said, as we suggest in Chapter 1, but also by imagining what others might say against your argu- ment as it unfolds. Once you see writing as an act of entering a conversation, you should also see how opposing arguments can work for you rather than against you. Paradoxically, the more you give voice to your critics’ objec- tions, the more you tend to disarm those critics, especially if you go on to answer their objections in convincing ways. When you entertain a counterargument, you make a kind of preemptive strike, identifying problems with your argument before oth- ers can point them out for you. Furthermore, by entertaining counterarguments, you show respect for your readers, treating them not as gullible dupes who will believe anything you say

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 79 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

s i x s i x “ S K E P T I C S M A Y O B J E C T ”

8 0

but as independent, critical thinkers who are aware that your view is not the only one in town. In addition, by imagining what others might say against your claims, you come across as a generous, broad-minded person who is confident enough to open himself or herself to debate—like the writer in the figure on the following page. Conversely, if you don’t entertain counterarguments, you may very likely come across as closed-minded, as if you think your beliefs are beyond dispute. You might also leave important ques- tions hanging and concerns about your arguments unaddressed. Finally, if you fail to plant a naysayer in your text, you may find that you have very little to say. Our own students often say that entertaining counterarguments makes it easier to generate enough text to meet their assignment’s page-length requirements. Planting a naysayer in your text is a relatively simple move, as you can see by looking at the following passage from a book by the writer Kim Chernin. Having spent some thirty pages complaining about the pressure on American women to be thin, Chernin inserts a whole chapter entitled “The Skeptic,” opening it as follows.

At this point I would like to raise certain objections that have been inspired by the skeptic in me. She feels that I have been ignoring some of the most common assumptions we all make about our bod- ies and these she wishes to see addressed. For example: “You know perfectly well,” she says to me, “that you feel better when you lose weight. You buy new clothes. You look at yourself more eagerly in the mirror. When someone invites you to a party you don’t stop and ask yourself whether you want to go. You feel sexier. Admit it. You like yourself better.”

Kim Chernin, The Obsession: Reflections on the Tyranny of Slenderness

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 80 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Planting a Naysayer in Your Text

8 1

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 81 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

s i x s i x “ S K E P T I C S M A Y O B J E C T ”

8 2

The remainder of Chernin’s chapter consists of her answers to this inner skeptic. In the face of the skeptic’s challenge to her book’s central premise (that the pressure to diet seriously harms women’s lives), Chernin responds neither by repressing the skeptic’s critical voice nor by giving in to it and relinquish- ing her own position. Instead, she embraces that voice and writes it into her text. Note too that instead of dispatching this naysaying voice quickly, as many of us would be tempted to do, Chernin stays with it and devotes a full paragraph to it. By borrowing some of Chernin’s language, we can come up with templates for entertaining virtually any objection.

templates for entertaining objections

j At this point I would like to raise some objections that have been

inspired by the skeptic in me. She feels that I have been ignoring

the complexities of the situation.

j Yet some readers may challenge my view by insisting that

.

j Of course, many will probably disagree on the grounds that

.

Note that the objections in the above templates are attributed not to any specific person or group, but to “skep- tics,” “readers,” or “many.” This kind of nameless, faceless naysayer is perfectly appropriate in many cases. But the ideas that motivate arguments and objections often can—and, where possible, should—be ascribed to a specific ideology or school of thought (for example, liberals, Christian fundamentalists, neopragmatists) rather than to anonymous anybodies. In other

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 82 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Planting a Naysayer in Your Text

8 3

words, naysayers can be labeled, and you can add precision and impact to your writing by identifying what those labels are.

templates for naming your naysayers

j Here many feminists would probably object that gender does

influence language.

j But social Darwinists would certainly take issue with the argu-

ment that .

j Biologists, of course, may want to question whether .

j Nevertheless, both followers and critics of Malcolm X will prob-

ably suggest otherwise and argue that .

To be sure, some people dislike such labels and may even resent having labels applied to themselves. Some feel that labels put individuals in boxes, stereotyping them and glossing over what makes each of us unique. And it’s true that labels can be used inappropriately, in ways that ignore individuality and promote stereotypes. But since the life of ideas, includ- ing many of our most private thoughts, is conducted through groups and types rather than solitary individuals, intellectual exchange requires labels to give definition and serve as a convenient shorthand. If you categorically reject all labels, you give up an important resource and even mislead readers by presenting yourself and others as having no connection to anyone else. You also miss an opportunity to generalize the importance and relevance of your work to some larger con- versation. When you attribute a position you are summarizing to liberalism, say, or historical materialism, your argument is no longer just about your own solitary views but about the

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 83 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

s i x s i x “ S K E P T I C S M A Y O B J E C T ”

8 4

intersection of broad ideas and habits of mind that many readers may already have a stake in. The way to minimize the problem of stereotyping, then, is not to categorically reject labels but to refine and qualify their use, as the following templates demonstrate.

j Although not all Christians think alike, some of them will prob-

ably dispute my claim that .

j Non-native English speakers are so diverse in their views that it’s

hard to generalize about them, but some are likely to object on

the grounds that .

Another way to avoid needless stereotyping is to qualify labels carefully, substituting “pro bono lawyers” for “lawyers” in gen- eral, for example, or “quantitative sociologists” for all “social scientists,” and so on.

templates for introducing objections informally

Objections can also be introduced in more informal ways. For instance, you can frame objections in the form of questions.

j But is my proposal realistic? What are the chances of its actually

being adopted?

j Yet is it necessarily true that ? Is it always the case,

as I have been suggesting, that ?

j However, does the evidence I’ve cited prove conclusively

that ?

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 84 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Planting a Naysayer in Your Text

8 5

You can also let your naysayer speak directly.

j “Impossible,” some will say. “You must be reading the research

selectively.”

Moves like this allow you to cut directly to the skeptical voice itself, as the singer-songwriter Joe Jackson does in the follow- ing excerpt from a New York Times article complaining about the restrictions on public smoking in New York City bars and restaurants.

I like a couple of cigarettes or a cigar with a drink, and like many other people, I only smoke in bars or nightclubs. Now I can’t go to any of my old haunts. Bartenders who were friends have turned into cops, forcing me outside to shiver in the cold and curse under my breath. . . . It’s no fun. Smokers are being demonized and victim- ized all out of proportion. “Get over it,” say the anti-smokers. “You’re the minority.” I thought a great city was a place where all kinds of minorities could thrive. . . . “Smoking kills,” they say. As an occasional smoker with otherwise healthy habits, I’ll take my chances. Health con- sciousness is important, but so are pleasure and freedom of choice.

Joe Jackson, “Want to Smoke? Go to Hamburg”

Jackson could have begun his second paragraph, in which he shifts from his own voice to that of his imagined naysayer, more formally, as follows: “Of course anti-smokers will object that since we smokers are in the minority, we should simply stop complaining and quietly make the sacrifices we are being called on to make for the larger social good.” Or “Anti- smokers might insist, however, that the smoking minority

See the essay on Family Guy (p. 145) that addresses naysayers throughout.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 85 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

s i x s i x “ S K E P T I C S M A Y O B J E C T ”

8 6

should submit to the non-smoking majority.” We think, though, that Jackson gets the job done in a far more lively way with the more colloquial form he chooses. Borrowing a standard move of playwrights and novelists, Jackson cuts directly to the objectors’ view and then to his own retort, then back to the objectors’ view and then to his own retort again, thereby creating a kind of dialogue or miniature play within

his own text. This move works well for Jackson, but only because he uses quotation marks and other voice markers to make clear at every point whose voice he is in.

represent objections fairly

Once you’ve decided to introduce a differing or opposing view into your writing, your work has only just begun, since you still need to represent and explain that view with fairness and generosity. Although it is tempting to give opposing views short shrift, to hurry past them, or even to mock them, doing so is usually counterproductive. When writers make the best case they can for their critics (playing Peter Elbow’s “believ-

ing game”), they actually bolster their credibility with readers rather than undermine it. They make readers think, “This is a writer I can trust.”

We recommend, then, that whenever you entertain objec- tions in your writing, you stay with them for several sentences or even paragraphs and take them as seriously as possible. We also recommend that you read your summary of opposing views with an outsider’s eye: put yourself in the shoes of someone who disagrees with you and ask if such a reader would recognize himself in your summary. Would that reader think you have

See Chapter 5 for more

advice on using voice

markers.

See pp. 31–32 for more on

the believing game.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 86 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Planting a Naysayer in Your Text

8 7

taken his views seriously, as beliefs that reasonable people might hold? Or would he detect a mocking tone or an oversimplifica- tion of his views? There will always be certain objections, to be sure, that you believe do not deserve to be represented, just as there will be objections that seem so unworthy of respect that they inspire ridicule. Remember, however, that if you do choose to mock a view that you oppose, you are likely to alienate those readers who don’t already agree with you—likely the very readers you want to reach. Also be aware that in mocking another’s view you may contribute to a hostile argument culture in which someone may ridicule you in return.

answer objections

Do be aware that when you represent objections successfully, you still need to be able to answer those objections persuasively. After all, when you write objections into a text, you take the risk that readers will find those objections more convincing than the argument you yourself are advancing. In the edito- rial quoted above, for example, Joe Jackson takes the risk that readers will identify more with the anti-smoking view he sum- marizes than with the pro-smoking position he endorses. This is precisely what Benjamin Franklin describes hap- pening to himself in The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin (1793), when he recalls being converted to Deism (a religion that exalts reason over spirituality) by reading anti-Deist books. When he encountered the views of Deists being negatively summarized by authors who opposed them, Franklin explains, he ended up finding the Deist position more persuasive. To avoid having this kind if unintentional reverse effect on

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 87 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

s i x s i x “ S K E P T I C S M A Y O B J E C T ”

8 8

readers, you need to do your best to make sure that any counter- arguments you address are not more convincing than your own claims. It is good to address objections in your writing, but only if you are able to overcome them. One surefire way to fail to overcome an objection is to dis- miss it out of hand—saying, for example, “That’s just wrong.” The difference between such a response (which offers no sup- porting reasons whatsoever) and the types of nuanced responses we’re promoting in this book is the difference between bullying your readers and genuinely persuading them. Often the best way to overcome an objection is not to try to refute it completely but to agree with part of it while chal- lenging only the part you dispute. In other words, in answer- ing counterarguments, it is often best to say “yes, but” or “yes

and no,” treating the counterview as an opportunity to revise and refine your own position. Rather than build your argument into an impenetrable fortress, it is often

best to make concessions while still standing your ground, as Kim Chernin does in the following response to the counter- argument quoted above. While in the voice of the “skeptic,” Chernin writes: “Admit it. You like yourself better when you’ve lost weight.” In response, Chernin replies as follows.

Can I deny these things? No woman who has managed to lose weight would wish to argue with this. Most people feel better about themselves when they become slender. And yet, upon reflection, it seems to me that there is something precarious about this well- being. After all, 98 percent of people who lose weight gain it back. Indeed, 90 percent of those who have dieted “successfully” gain back more than they ever lost. Then, of course, we can no longer bear to look at ourselves in the mirror.

See pp. 61–64 for more on

agreeing, with a difference.

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 88 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Planting a Naysayer in Your Text

8 9

In this way, Chernin shows how you can use a counterview to improve and refine your overall argument by making a conces- sion. Even as she concedes that losing weight feels good in the short run, she argues that in the long run the weight always returns, making the dieter far more miserable.

templates for making concessions while still standing your ground

j Although I grant that the book is poorly organized, I still maintain

that it raises an important issue.

j Proponents of X are right to argue that . But they

exaggerate when they claim that .

j While it is true that , it does not necessarily follow

that .

j On the one hand, I agree with X that . But on the

other hand, I still insist that .

Templates like these show that answering naysayers’ objec- tions does not have to be an all-or-nothing affair in which you either definitively refute your critics or they definitively refute you. Often the most productive engagements among differing views end with a combined vision that incorporates elements of each one. But what if you’ve tried out all the possible answers you can think of to an objection you’ve anticipated and you still have a nagging feeling that the objection is more convincing than your argument itself? In that case, the best remedy is to go back and make some fundamental revisions to your argument,

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 89 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

s i x s i x “ S K E P T I C S M A Y O B J E C T ”

9 0

even reversing your position completely if need be. Although finding out late in the game that you aren’t fully convinced by your own argument can be painful, it can actually make your final text more intellectually honest, challenging, and serious. After all, the goal of writing is not to keep proving that what- ever you initially said is right, but to stretch the limits of your thinking. So if planting a strong naysayer in your text forces you to change your mind, that’s not a bad thing. Some would argue that that is what the academic world is all about.

Exercises

1. Read the following passage by the cultural critic Eric Schlosser. As you’ll see, he hasn’t planted any naysayers in this text. Do it for him. Insert a brief paragraph stating an objection to his argument and then responding to the objection as he might.

The United States must declare an end to the war on drugs. This war has filled the nation’s prisons with poor drug addicts and small- time drug dealers. It has created a multibillion-dollar black market, enriched organized crime groups and promoted the corruption of government officials throughout the world. And it has not stemmed the widespread use of illegal drugs. By any rational measure, this war has been a total failure. We must develop public policies on substance abuse that are guided not by moral righteousness or political expediency but by common sense. The United States should immediately decriminal- ize the cultivation and possession of small amounts of marijuana for personal use. Marijuana should no longer be classified as a Sched- ule I narcotic, and those who seek to use marijuana as medicine

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 90 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Planting a Naysayer in Your Text

9 1

should no longer face criminal sanctions. We must shift our entire approach to drug abuse from the criminal justice system to the public health system. Congress should appoint an independent commission to study the harm-reduction policies that have been adopted in Switzerland, Spain, Portugal, and the Netherlands. The commission should recommend policies for the United States based on one important criterion: what works. In a nation where pharmaceutical companies advertise powerful antidepressants on billboards and where alcohol companies run amus- ing beer ads during the Super Bowl, the idea of a “drug-free society” is absurd. Like the rest of American society, our drug policy would greatly benefit from less punishment and more compassion.

Eric Schlosser, “A People’s Democratic Platform”

2. Look over something you’ve written that makes an argu- ment. Check to see if you’ve anticipated and responded to any objections. If not, revise your text to do so. If so, have you anticipated all the likely objections? Who if anyone have you attributed the objections to? Have you represented the objections fairly? Have you answered them well enough, or do you think you now need to qualify your own argu- ment? Could you use any of the language suggested in this chapter? Does the introduction of a naysayer strengthen your argument? Why, or why not?

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 91 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

9 2

SEVEN

“so what? who cares?”

Saying Why It Matters

H

Baseball is the national pastime. Bernini was the best sculptor of the baroque period. All writing is conversational. So what? Who cares? Why does any of this matter? How many times have you had reason to ask these ques- tions? Regardless of how interesting a topic may be to you as a writer, readers always need to know what is at stake in a text and why they should care. All too often, however, these ques- tions are left unanswered—mainly because writers and speakers assume that audiences will know the answers already or will figure them out on their own. As a result, students come away from lectures feeling like outsiders to what they’ve just heard, just as many of us feel left hanging after talks we’ve attended. The problem is not necessarily that the speakers lack a clear, well-focused thesis or that the thesis is inadequately supported with evidence. Instead, the problem is that the speakers don’t address the crucial question of why their arguments matter. That this question is so often left unaddressed is unfortunate since the speakers generally could offer interesting, engaging answers. When pressed, for instance, most academics will tell you that their lectures and articles matter because they address

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 92 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Saying Why It Matters

9 3

some belief that needs to be corrected or updated—and because their arguments have important, real-world consequences. Yet many academics fail to identify these reasons and consequences explicitly in what they say and write. Rather than assume that audiences will know why their claims matter, all writers need to answer the “so what?” and “who cares?” questions up front. Not everyone can claim to have a cure for cancer or a solution to end poverty. But writers who fail to show that others should care or already do care about their claims will ultimately lose their audiences’ interest. This chapter focuses on various moves that you can make to answer the “who cares?” and “so what?” questions in your own writing. In one sense, the two questions get at the same thing: the relevance or importance of what you are saying. Yet they get at this significance in different ways. Whereas “who cares?” literally asks you to identify a person or group who cares about your claims, “so what?” asks about the real-world applications and consequences of those claims—what difference it would make if they were accepted. We’ll look first at ways of making clear who cares.

“who cares?”

To see how one writer answers the “who cares?” question, consider the following passage from the science writer Denise Grady. Writing in the New York Times, she explains some of the latest research into fat cells.

Scientists used to think body fat and the cells it was made of were pretty much inert, just an oily storage compartment. But within the past decade research has shown that fat cells act like chemical factories and that body fat is potent stuff: a highly active

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 93 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

s e v e n s e v e n “ S O W H A T ? W H O C A R E S ? ”

9 4

tissue that secretes hormones and other substances with profound and sometimes harmful effects. . . . In recent years, biologists have begun calling fat an “endocrine organ,” comparing it to glands like the thyroid and pituitary, which also release hormones straight into the bloodstream.

Denise Grady, “The Secret Life of a Potent Cell”

Notice how Grady’s writing reflects the central advice we give in this book, offering a clear claim and also framing that claim as a response to what someone else has said. In so doing, Grady immediately identifies at least one group with a stake in the new research that sees fat as “active,” “potent stuff ”: namely, the scientific community, which formerly believed that body fat is inert. By referring to these scientists, Grady implicitly acknowledges that her text is part of a larger con- versation and shows who besides herself has an interest in what she says. Consider, however, how the passage would read had Grady left out what “scientists used to think” and simply explained the new findings in isolation.

Within the past few decades research has shown that fat cells act like chemical factories and that body fat is potent stuff: a highly active tissue that secretes hormones and other substances. In recent years, biologists have begun calling fat an “endocrine organ,” com- paring it to glands like the thyroid and pituitary, which also release hormones straight into the bloodstream.

Though this statement is clear and easy to follow, it lacks any indication that anyone needs to hear it. Okay, one nods while reading this passage, fat is an active, potent thing. Sounds plau- sible enough; no reason to think it’s not true. But does anyone really care? Who, if anyone, is interested?

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 94 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

Saying Why It Matters

9 5

templates for indicating who cares

To address “who cares?” questions in your own writing, we suggest using templates like the following, which echo Grady in refuting earlier thinking.

j Parents used to think spanking was necessary. But recently

[or within the past few decades] experts suggest that it can be

counterproductive.

j This interpretation challenges the work of those critics who have

long assumed that .

j These findings challenge the work of earlier researchers, who

tended to assume that .

j Recent studies like these shed new light on , which

previous studies had not addressed.

Grady might have been more explicit by writing the “who cares?” question directly into her text, as in the following template.

j But who really cares? Who besides me and a handful of recent

researchers has a stake in these claims? At the very least, the

researchers who formerly believed should care.

To gain greater authority as a writer, it can help to name spe- cific people or groups who have a stake in your claims and to go into some detail about their views.

j Researchers have long assumed that . For instance,

one eminent scholar of cell biology, , assumed

in , her seminal work on cell structures and functions,

that fat cells . As herself put it, “ ”

(2012). Another leading scientist, , argued that fat

04_GRA_93584_part2_053_102.indd 95 11/8/14 3:34 PM

 

 

s e v e n s e v e n “ S O W H A T ? W H O C A R E S ? ”

9 6

cells “ ” (2011). Ultimately, when it came to the nature

of fat, the basic assumption was that .

But a new body of research shows that fat cells are far more

complex and that .